The Sad Face of Eczema
Yup there it is. The sad, sad, face of eczema...
It belongs to my son Mehkai...or you can call him by his middle name Alex like we do :)
This post is a little long so abandon ship now...or read the tragic tale if you must.
Alex was born the most gorgeous little baby with beautiful soft skin, all his fingers and toes, and all of his other bits exactly where they were supposed to be. And the first week home from the hospital was exhausting but quiet and comfortable. I slept when he slept and we coochie-cooed the whole day long.
And then something happened...
He started a few red pimples on his face and his scalp looked "kind of dry" with some flakes on it here and there. Everything I knew about babies said that he could have baby acne and shed a layer or two of skin while he acclimates to the new world he's living in. So no problem right? Wrong.
The pimples became less individual ones and started forming closer and closer together on his skin and they were quickly turning into these raised, disc-like shapes. And it didn't stay confined to his face either. It started spreading. From the face to the forehead, the forehead to the scalp, the scalp to the back of the head, the neck, the ears, and all down his body. This whatever it was...it was everywhere. And in a matter of days the disc shapes no longer looked like disc shapes either, it was changing fast into basically just one big "rough patch" from head to toe. He looked like he had laid down on a tightly woven mat that had left it's red, raised, latticework impression on his skin...only it was his actual skin.
And my baby's temperament? He started crying ALL THE TIME
Trips to the doctor weren't any help. I was told that my son's skin was dry and to "put Vaseline on it". Well I went through tubs of the stuff and my son left grease marks everywhere but still his condition didn't improve. And my ex? The baby's father? All the time he wanted to know what I was doing to make our son look that way..seriously
And strangers on the street? They looked at him with pity and they asked me what was wrong with him. I couldn't answer them because I didn't even know myself.
I was hardly ever able to put the baby down or have a moment's peace to myself and at that point I was beating myself up thinking maybe I was doing something wrong and I hated that I couldn't fix it.
Eventually the baby and I stopped going out and I became somewhat of a recluse. You could come to my house at any time of the day and still find me in my pj's, with Bob Marley dreadlocks forming in my matted and unkempt hair.
Day was night and night was day because the baby never slept for long. And when he did sleep I just kept him next to me in the bed and it was easier for both of us that way. The crib was where I kept the laundry I was too tired to fold.
And the actual nights? They were by far the worst. He was always much more agitated at night than during the day. I rocked him, I sang to him, I carried him, I fought with him, I begged him, I cried with him, I tried to sleep next to him, I stayed awake night and day with him, and I just about lost my mind with him...
Even though he was so little he learned to scratch the rashes that he had and that made things so much worse. So I put baby mittens on his hands but he always found a way to get them off. When he did sleep which wasn't often, I swaddled him. At first with a regular old blanket but he broke out of that to scratch. So we moved onto a zippered swaddle and he mastered getting his little hands free in two nights. Next came the Velcro swaddle and that was no good either. So then tried double swaddling him with the first layer being the old blanket and the second layer the Velcro swaddle. He looked like he was cocooned and waiting to turn into a butterfly. I remember waking up in the middle of the first night and seeing one of his little arms waving free and the other one scratching his face to bleeding all over my bed. And the bleeding thing happened all the time. I took the good sheets off the bed and replaced them with old ones because the stains were not coming out of the others.
And my baby's father moved to the spare bedroom because it was all too much for him to handle. He couldn't stand to hear him cry and I get that, I really do. It's heartbreaking. But eventually we became like two ships passing in the night. And then he just couldn't take it anymore and lost his mind. We had a huge fight. We're talking middle of the night drunken freakout. He blamed me for the problems with our son and he said things that went straight to my heart and broke it forever.
I made the decision that we weren't safe there with him that night but he wouldn't let us leave. I made it as far as my car in the driveway with my kids but he forced us back inside the house with a knife from the kitchen butcher's block. My daughter was quick-thinking though and she bolted from the driveway and went to get help for us. She flagged down a passing car in the street and they called the police.
My ex was forcibly removed from our home by the police that night. And it is only by the grace of God that he wasn't shot. Because there was a knife and children involved, the police surrounded the house.
I had grown worried about my daughter who was out in the street alone for such a long time. I went with the baby to the living room window and when I looked out there was an officer with a rifle right beside the window. He motioned me to move away. I cowered in the corner covering my baby with my body just in case we ended up in the crossfire or something.
My ex who had just gone to the kitchen and thrown the knife in the sink, was on his way back to the living room when the police busted the door in and wrestled him to the floor and took him away. He is lucky to still be alive today.
But we are even luckier to be free of him :)
Recent Comments
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Oh what a horrible ordeal! Hope your little boy is getting better, but you need to get some other doctor! Vaseline is no good for that! I guess you have already tried all kinds of diet change, but if not; have you tried natural probiotics? By that I mean fermented veggies, Combucha-tea and making your own Kefir with Kefir grains? Many of these problems come from the gut and natural probiotics helps to normalize it.
Here is some info that might be usefull (this is not an affiliate link, just interesting information and a good blogg :) )
http://www.culturedfoodlife.com
Hope it helps!
Kristina
Hi Kristina,
Thanks for your suggestions. We do indeed have another doctor now and a different climate which helps a lot. We used to be on the west coast in one of the driest, windiest provinces but now we are on the east coast with a higher humidity level and it has helped over the summer.
As for his diet he doesn't have much to it yet but I've always stayed away from baby cereals and such because he is allergic to milk.
During Alex's first emergency room visit the doctor took one look at him and diagnosed eczema and admitted him. Over the course of the next few days the doctor gave me a treatment plan to help my son. At that time I was uncomfortable to breastfeed in the hospital with so many people coming in and out of his room.
So it was during one of the discussions wiith the doctor after just having given my son a 4 ounce bottle of commercial milk-based formula that my son got sick. He started screaming and he vomited like 3 times and his breathing got shallow and labored. So my son had an anaphylactic reaction to milk-based formula and the doc said that often milk allergies go hand in hand with eczema. No more breastfeeding unless I was willing to drastically change my diet and soy formula only. Soy isn't the best thing out there but in Canada there aren't too many options for different kinds of formula.
So I am looking into probiotics and all of these other wonderful suggestions to help my son heal from the inside instead of working backwards like his original doctor advised with the Vaseline...boggles my mind that he has a degree :)
Lori that's a rough way to go. I'm so glas you are out of that situation and on such a good path at WA.Things are on the upswing for you and will only get better.
Marty::))
I am glad to be out of that situation too. I made some bad choices for myself in the partner that I picked. I take solace in the fact that his true colors were exposed soon after our son was born. Instead of years later when it would have been far more hurtful to Alex to see and feel his father's resentment at having a less than perfect son. In the end it's only "just eczema" there are far worse things to go through in life.
Wow, sorry to hear about all that. I hope things are improving and I am sure at some point they will figure out the problem and get it minimized.
I sometimes give in to wishful thinking and tell myself it will all just go away one day. Just like that done and over with...sadly that day hasn't arrived yet :(
Poor wee man suffered with this my self so know how painful it can get, the thing that helped me best was diet and Chinese medicine which was disgusting by the way, my face seems to differ and is very sensitive so use Aveeno cream which seems to help..been good this year not too many flair ups.. That would have been a scary situation for the children to be in more so your daughter.. I hope his face settles down, I am surprise the doctor said vaseline as it is too heavy for the skin to absorb take care have a good weekend
I hear Chinese medicine is very helpful! My sister in law uses it.. I just found one near me as well.
it did help a lot but they said asthma would be a bit worse which it has but I can cope with that.
Hey Katie,
We are fortunate that my son doesn't seem to suffer with asthma. I've heard that the two conditions often go hand in hand.
When my son was younger I spent tons of money on every cream, lotion and potion from the doctors prescriptions that didn't work. And all sorts of things on the drugstore shelves didn't work either.
Don't get me wrong, when my son is having some good days they are wonderful. But when he has a "flare-up" they can go from zero to 100 in no time at all and every time he has landed up at the emergency room because of it.
My hope with this post was to hear what others have to say about what has worked for them so I thank you for your suggestions my dear :)
I know what you mean I spent a fortune on stuff to, when mine flairs on my face it splits just at the side of the eye and lids, to take the heat out I use natural bio yoghurt I try and avoid steroids,, the aveeno is doing the job ok for now, I hope you find something that gives him relief there is a chance he could grow out of it, strangely enough none of my children got it
Wow, it sounds like you and the kids been going through a lot! Sorry to hear your little Alex has eczema...poor little guy. Not to mention you too...it's no fun dealing with an itchy little one...they can get quite ornery and if they can't sleep, no one else is either!
That must have been a scary time to go through with your ex...just glad to hear it went okay, and no one was hurt...good call on your part!
Hopefully, they'll find something that will work to get rid of your son's eczema soon...Vaseline is probably the worst thing for it, what on earth is your doctor thinking...or is he thinking at all?
Best wishes :) -Sherry
Hey Sherry,
That doctor was a toolbox when he gave us his "expert" advice. We still would have went through hard times but not having a diagnosis or a treatment plan just made things worse. I really didn't know that nearly all of the things we were doing to take care of him were the wrong things. But things are better now thanks to an emergency room doctor who diagnosed his condition and gave us a treatment plan. It's sad that his father wasn't around to become informed about eczema like I was. It's his loss in the end...if you can't stand strong for those you love then who can you stand strong for?
Glad to hear its getting better with the ER doctor's treatment plan...kinda sad though, when some of the "regular" doctors now don't seem to bother caring enough to actually find the right solution. Oh, I better not get started on that, I'll be writing a book here, lol! But, I have to agree, it sure sounds like that first doctor was quite the toolbox!
I absolutely agree too with that last statement of yours,
it would make such a beautiful quote on a wall plaque actually...
Best wishes :) -Sherry
Goodness me, you poor thing. Well done for looking after your babies so well. I hope things are ok for you xx
Hey Ruth,
Things are better now...time and a change of climate have helped my son immensely. We are back to flare-up season though and it's been weighing on my mind so I thought I would put it out there. Thanks for reading my dear :)
Sorry little Alex is going through this as well as you! Hope the salve works like a charm and He gets passed this soon.
Hang in there Lori and Alex! :)
A sure cure for this is to stand in front of your house with a black cat in a bag and twirl around and around ten times saying there's no place like home... A toilet paper attacking cat will do too! =)
Well you know Chris...today I had my son's cloth diapers hanging out on the rack behind the apartment outside and I forgot about them until after it was dark. There's no light out there so you can't see your hand in front of your face once you move away from the glow of the light that falls out there from the kitchen window.
So being the scaredy-poo that I am, I had my daughter sit at the computer while I went back there to get the diapers. I opened the kitchen window so that we could talk while I was gathering them up.
But it was so freaking dark back there that I came back and I had my face up against the window and I said to her:
"Holy Dinah! It's so freaking dark back here that I feel like if I say the name "Candyman" three times he's gonna appear out of nowhere".
And of course, right on cue Bingsu jumps right into the screen of the window at me exactly at that moment.
I damn near lost all my bodily fluids back there in the dark tonight :(
Well you know I did move across the country this summer...it's somewhere in the car and it ain't ever coming back :)
Oh my word, you have had a rough time. Things can only go better for you from now on. I hope they find a cure for the Eczema.
Yes indeed we are much better off now. We are each capable of standing strong for what is right and fighting the good fight. And when they cure my son's eczema when he's 62 it will have all been worth it :)
You, and your children, have been through an awful lot. I don't see how you've kept your sanity. I guess it's that great sense of humor of yours that has kept you from crumbling.
Someone once said "Life's a Bowl of Cherries" but sometimes it seems like we're living in the pits, lol.
I am praying that the sad face of eczema turns into a big smiley face real soon!
Blessings,
Debby
I made the salve and we are slowly making changes...and guess what? He has been one happy little boy today. I am planning to do a follow-up blog and give you all the praise you deserve. Thank you so much :)
Again today? That is so wonderful to hear! I'm just so thrilled for him and for you. By the way, vaseline is probably the worst thing that Dr. could have ever told you to use!!! It is made from petroleum - what was he/she thinking????
Quite frankly he just glossed over his skin condition. Just kept asking me questions from the "well baby" questionnaire. Things like "Do you have a thermometer?" and my personal favorite "Do you have any firearms in the house?" really doc? Are freaking kidding me? We went for months undiagnosed and helpless. Those were some dark days :(
Seriously??? I'm sorry, I know it's not funny, but.....seriously??? That's ALL he had to say??? That sounds like a skit from a late night show - NOT a visit with a Dr.
Yup...seriously. I was living on the west coast at the time. In a very "western" province. But that doesn't change the fact that I am a peace-loving hippie. For some strange reason that doctor was all acting like I was toting a Smith & Wesson around in my baby's diaper bag...weirdo :)
Maybe you should have been - he might have actually tried to help instead of ignoring you and asking STUPID IRRELEVANT questions!
Even though my son's eczema eventually became infected and landed him in the hospital, it was a Godsend. That's where the good and kind doctor diagnosed my son with eczema (which I had never heard of). I also found out I was doing a whole pile of things wrong to treat it. But even with their help their help I haven't been able to keep the flare-ups under control. Once it's too far gone it's too far gone. So the changes I'm making are giving me hope that we can stop the flare-ups altogether. And seeing my little boy smiling and laughing all day is worth experimenting for :)
Absolutely! I'm glad that you finally got him somewhere they were willing to actually DO something to help rather than question whether you were Annie Oakley!
You are a true champion Lori. I've spent years listening to parents battling with childhood eczema and happily report that between us we've found the way to end eczema and prevent the flares coming back. The answer is offered free of charge in a pdf file called '7 + 3'. It shows you 7 recent medical revelations and 3 simple clues which explain eczema. The knowledge gained becomes the cure which has been so elusive. Eczema is a huge topic and because the scientific clues are quite recent few people, especially doctors, know about them. If you would like to see the pdf please let me know.
Hi DrHarley,
Welcome to Wealthy Affiliate and thank you so much for reading my blog post and for your words of encouragement. My friends here at WA have been wonderful with their advice and support. Knowing that we "don't have to go it alone" any longer is so liberating and my stress levels have gone down this week. I didn't know what eczema was until my son was diagnosed and I have since read many books. And all of them have dealt only with the symptoms of eczema and not the cause.
I would be very much interested to read that pdf. Is it available online somewhere?
Thank you,
Lori
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My God, this sounds like bad movie with ,at least ,a good ending. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment. It's a good thing you are strong. Takes something like this to find just how strong.
I hope Alex is better.
Listen, Lori, I am by no means an MD, and frankly I have little use for many of them. I much prefer natural treatments. After reading this I did a bit of research and I am sure you have done a ton. One site caught my eye and she knows her stuff. If you like it's...http://wellnessmama.com/12065/natural-eczema-remedies
Dick, you are a kind man!
Thank you, Willie.
I know right Dick? I was kind of fearful to push the publish button on this blog post. Why? Because it's only eczema after all isn't it?
Having a new baby is hard...
Having a sick baby is hard...
Having a psychotic break over it? I look back on that time and wonder how I kept body and soul together during the hardest moments. But I do thank God for giving me a mind and a will to keep strong at all times and not falter where my kids are concerned. I will definitely check out your resource Dick and thanks so much for your advice :)
You are so welcome. And you know down deep where you live that all will be well. Sheesh, you have so many folks pulling for you. Including the Big Guy......Dick
Sweetie you are not alone w breakdown.. God just puts us back together stronger than before! :)
Right on target Paula. How did ,you get to be such a schmartypants?
Experience, Dick, school of hard knocks... Is all..