Your Perception of Who You Are Changes Everything, Especially Around Success.

byTheCatherine

14.3K followers

Updated 11 months ago

Something happened to me this week that made me reflect deeply on the concept of perception of who we are.

Earlier in the week, I traveled from Nicaragua to Costa Rica by bus, a long and delayed journey that meant I arrived in a new country at 9.30 p.m. So here I am in the capital, San Jose, late at night in the dark. Now, if any of you have read any of my other travel blogs you know that for better or worse, I arrive in a place with absolutely no research, I just do it. So I don't even know what the currency is.

Walking across the bus station, I see an ATM machine and put my card in. Now I see what the currency is I have the option (supposedly) to withdraw Colones or US dollars. So I have discovered that their currency is the Colon and you can pay with US dollars. That was not all I discovered, the cash machine was empty.

I asked a security guard where the nearest bank was, and he replied he didn't know. I thought this odd, but then asked a dad and his son who were within earshot of the security guard where the bank was. They told me, and I set off. Before I had walked three paces I was confronted by the Dad, the security guard, and two other people who told me not to leave the bus station alone as we were in a highly dangerous area.

As this is a new country, I could not evaluate this information. However, I divide it's late. I had been traveling for fourteen hours, and I was tired. So I made the common sense decision to ask a taxi driver if I could pay in dollars. I had no Costa Rican sim, but luckily, he knew where my hotel was. I had to press him hard for a price, and eventually, he told me $10.00. I knew from his tone that I was being ripped off, but I decided to take the line of least resistance and accept it. After all, it was only $10.00

Off we go, and he tells me all of the way to the hotel how dangerous this area is. I also noticed that in the 7 minute ride, I had not seen one person on the streets. When we arrived, I started to open the door to get out of the taxi. He grabbed my arm and told me to exercise extreme caution walking across the pavement to my hotel - despite the fact the street was deserted. He also told me my area was highly dangerous in the day as well as the night. So I had a clear view of the street. It did not have any hidden doorways, the street was deserted, and I had only to walk the width of the sidewalk/ pavement.

The next morning, I still have the problem of being cashless, apart from an emergency stash of dollars I always carry. I decide to put $40 dollars in the pocket of my trousers and walk out carrying nothing but this. This exercise was to evaluate how safe I thought the area was. I walked to the bank, of course, to be told that I could not change any money without a passport.

So I walked back and decided to Google the bank that charged the least to change cash. It was a different bank that had no fees. So I set off again with my passport in another pocket and my hands empty.

Nothing happened to me in either journey, apart from having banter with a few locals, which they instigated. I concluded that I was in a central market area and everyone was shopping, with absolutely no interest in me other than to say hello.

I have a highly developed sense of danger, which comes from fifty years of traveling, often in places where a lot of people told me I shouldn't be. I walked the length of breadth of Harlem once without knowing I was in Harlem. In other words, I had no idea I was in Harlem, so I had no preconceived ideas of danger. I didn't expect anything untoward to happen, and it didn't.

This story led me to reflect because I was wondering why four different people told me not to venture out alone. They were families and were not setting themselves up to be my bodyguards. They did not want money from me. So what did they see in me that made them warn me?

The difference between their perception of me and my perception of me.

I concluded that the only thing they saw was a white haired old lady, who THEY PERCEIVED TO BE AT RISK. I may have been at risk at night, but my common sense told me that deserted pavements may mean something. However, I could not be certain that that reflected danger. It could just be that life in Central America starts early at 5:00 a.m., so they could simply be in bed. I still do not know the answer to that one, as I have not ventured out in the dark. I have realized that the area I was in was no more dangerous than anywhere else I had been in the last two years of traveling, at least during the day.

So Where are you going with this, Catherine?

Taking responsibility For Your Success

To be consistently successful, you have to change the person you are in every respect completely. I mean from the inside out. The key is to move forward from your current self towards your ideal future self - the person who will accomplish your goals and live the life you envision. Rather than staying stuck where you are, take steps each day to become who you wish to be. Focus on developing the qualities, skills, and mindset that will get you there.

I am defining success here, not in a fiscal sense, although if you're here, you should all want that. I am talking about achieving your ideal lifestyle and getting what you want out of life.You are where you are now as a result of every single tiny cumulative decision you have ever made in your life. Living your life on a daily basis has got you, and me too, to where I am. You have to own this. If you haven't got what you want in life, it's because you have made life choices from a limited viewpoint.

Am I having a go at you here? Not at all. I am pointing out the obvious.

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them! "

Albert Einstein

You could not have envisaged a walking, talking toddler when you were six months old. It was beyond your capabilities at the time to think that, imagine it, or create it. All you knew was eat, sleep, cry, smile and poo! That was your entire world. Please correct me if I have left something out here, I have no experience with 6 month babies.

Humdrum People and Successful People are Two Different Species

Ok, I know we are all homo sapiens, but successful people think differently

"Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, 'What's in it for me?'

Brian Tracy

It's difficult to fully comprehend the mindset of highly successful people until you directly engage with them and observe their behaviors and beliefs firsthand. From the outside looking in, it may seem perplexing why they think and act as they do. But when you spend time around high achievers, you gain insight into their motivations and can better appreciate the attitudes and principles that drive their accomplishments. Immersing yourself in their world allows you to truly understand the distinctive thought patterns and mental frameworks that enable their success. Direct exposure and experience are key to grasping what makes these individuals tick.

True success is not just achieved through random windfalls or lucky breaks. Lasting success comes from within – cultivating the mindset and capacity to make things happen consistently. Truly successful people have mastered self-determination and personal agency. They are able to manifest their desires and visions into reality through their own will and efforts. These abilities aren't dependent on any particular opportunity or circumstance. The successful have developed the skills to keep accomplishing their goals and fulfilling their potential again and again.

If you don't believe the above paragraph, ask Kyle about it in live chat. When he and Carson were in college, they were the type of people who had a dream. Now, twenty years later, they are the people who made it happen. Every time they had a setback, they took personal responsibility. They never forgot their dream. They realized that their future was in their hands and their hands alone.

You Joined Wealthy Affiliate Because you Were not Happy with Your Life

if you are not where you want to be in Life, you have to transform yourself. There is a void between where you are now and the successful person you want to be. Sadly, you have to cross that no man's land; and it is littered with minefields, and you have to cross those trenches. If you have ever seen a World War 1 film, you will know that most of the journey will be on your hands and knees. No, I am not old enough to remember either of the great wars, but I am a battle veteran. I have created the life I want to live, through thick and thin.

That creation was not without challenges and tears; it wasn't without pain. It hurts to confront yourself and change. It takes guts. I have learned that there is no growth in your comfort zone, and change means blowing up your comfort zone, so there is no line of retreat possible; you have to move forward.

Becoming your ideal self requires fundamental inner shifts across three key areas: perspective, mindset, and beliefs. First, your overall perspective evolves as you begin seeing the world in new ways aligned with your goals and values. Second, your thinking and mental patterns transform as you adopt more empowering mindsets. And third, your core beliefs change as you take on beliefs that serve rather than limit you. The path to your best self involves recalibrating your lens on life, upgrading your cognitive habits, and instilling beliefs, creating self-fulfilling prophecies for your success. These three pillars - perspective, mindset, and beliefs - comprise the inner foundation enabling external success. To become who you wish to be, focus first on refining these inner drivers so your outer world can change.

Your current station is simply the accumulation of all your previous decisions, steering you to where you stand today.

So, if you find yourself dissatisfied with any aspect of your reality, recognize that you possess the power to make different choices to create the reality you desire. Your present is not some fixed destiny but the natural consequence of how you have exercised your personal agency up until now. To change your reality, change your path by making choices that align with the life you wish to live. You alone author your life story through your decisions and actions.

You may think you have not achieved your success because you are:

Poor,

Black,

A woman,

A man

Not supported by your parents

Insert your own limiting belief here

It's not because you're an immigrant. It's not your job holding you back or your work hours. So I can't put my time into what I really wanna be doing. I can't achieve my goals because of my boss. It's not your boss. It's not your tech skills or lack of tech skills. Those THINGS have actually nothing to do with it.

The truth is that none of the external circumstances you blame are the real reasons holding you back. Your injuries, pain, lack of skills, past, family, debt - these are all stories we tell ourselves. Convenient excuses that prevent us from acknowledging the true obstacle: ourselves.

If you believe circumstances outside your control dictate your life, you only hurt yourself. This lie traps you in a disempowered mindset where you relinquish agency over your own life. In reality, the only thing limiting you is you.

Your outcomes stem from your choices, actions, and beliefs; these are your perceptions, not how the world works. Everything you need to create your desired success and fulfillment is already within you. But first, you must take radical accountability. Stop the stories. The reason you are where you are right now is you. And that means you have the power to change your trajectory starting today by changing your mindset.

Let's say your limiting belief is that you can't succeed before you pay off your credit card. You can't afford to be premium because you are in debt.

It's easy to point to debts as a reason why we can't pursue our dreams - a convenient excuse that gets us "off the hook" for not taking action. But the truth is, debt doesn't preclude you from making progress toward what you really want.

Rather than waiting for the perfect financial situation before you start, take steps from where you are with what you have available. Your debts may slow your pace, but they don't have to stop your forward momentum. View debt as a challenge to navigate rather than a reason to stand still.

Of course, have a plan to pay down your loans. But don't put your whole life on hold for years until they're completely paid off. You can work towards financial freedom AND go after your goals and dreams at the same time. It may require some creativity and commitment. But your dreams remain within reach as long as you're moving forward.

Don't give your power away by buying into the story that circumstances must be perfect before you pursue your aspirations. Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction. You have agency right now to drive your life where you truly want it to go. But and this is the big kicker. You have to make it happen. You are too old to believe in fairy stories. You are not suddenly going to wake up a super affiliate.

It's easy to believe that unequal treatment or discrimination is holding us back from success. But dwelling on what's unfair ultimately gives away our power.

When we buy into narratives that external forces are causing us to fail, we become disempowered - feeling like helpless victims. This traps us in a mindset where we relinquish agency over our lives.

The truth is we have far more control over our outcomes than we think. Our success is driven by our own choices, beliefs, and actions - not defined by circumstances.

Do unfair barriers exist? Absolutely. But rather than use them as excuses, we must take responsibility for what we can control - our mindset and efforts. When we stop playing the blame game, we access our true capacity to thrive regardless.

Blaming external factors only leads to anger and resignation. Taking accountability for our lives, no matter the circumstances, is empowering and liberating. This shift in mindset alone can be life-changing, enabling us to create the success we want finally.

Nothing will change until you take responsibility for your success. That is both my perception and my reality. The idea of being a victim is abhorrent to me. A victim mentality makes me passive - I will stop trying because I believe external factors will hold me back regardless. We create self-fulfilling prophecies where we fail simply because we expect to. I have never subscribed to that theory. Seeing myself as a victim would make me resentful, angry, and jealous toward those I perceive as having it easier. I won't have that corrosiveness in my life. Where I am going, there is no room for doubt. If you want success, you have to believe that with every fiber in your body.

Don't get me wrong, you will fail along the way, but you will learn to embrace failure as just another way you have tried that doesn't work. Failure is inevitable because of trying something new, something out of your comfort zone. You have to face your demons and confront yourself before you can achieve success. It is never easy to come face to face with your demons, but it is worth it.