What Do You Truly Want?

byTheAbiePPlus

23.3K followers

Updated 1 month ago

Seriously.

When I woke up today, this was the first question that came to me. So I asked myself, why not write a piece with more perspective?

Then I remembered "The Notebook." Young Noah told Allie: "Stop thinking about what everyone wants, what I want, what your parents want! What do 'you' want, Allie?"

Have you ever wondered if you're really living your life—or someone else's? Maybe you're pursuing a career because it's "practical" or sticking with a hobby because it fits in with your friends' work. It's easy to let external influences sneak into your choices without even realizing it.

Society, parents, partners, friends, and even social media influencers—everyone seems to have a say in what your life should look like. While they might mean well, their ideas can cloud what you genuinely want for yourself.

Take careers, for example. How many people are in jobs their parents pushed them towards? Or maybe you're maintaining a particular lifestyle because it's what your social circle expects—keeping up with the latest trends, even if they don't align with your preferences.

So, how do you know if your choices are driven by you or by others? It can feel like untangling a knot of earbuds—frustrating and unclear. Start with this simple question: Who benefits from this decision? Will it bring you joy, or are you just keeping the peace? Writing it down or talking it through with a trusted friend can help clarify whose voice you're really following.

This journey isn't about disregarding advice from others but about championing your voice. When you focus on what makes you tick, you'll find more fulfillment in your big life decisions or daily habits.

The Power of Honest Reflection

Have you ever felt stuck asking yourself, "What do I really want?" You're not alone. Self-reflection can be scary because it forces you to confront fears, doubts, and the expectations others have placed on you.

We often operate on autopilot, following the 'shoulds' handed to us: "You should get a stable job," or "You should settle down by a certain age." But here's the thing—following these 'shoulds' keeps you from recognizing what you want.

So, how do you break free from these patterns? Try shifting your mindset from should to want. This means allowing yourself to desire what feels right, even unconventional. It might initially feel uncomfortable, but leaning into that discomfort can be liberating.

Start by creating space for self-reflection—both mentally and physically. Turn off distractions, sit quietly with yourself, and let your thoughts wander. Journaling can be an excellent tool here. Start with a simple prompt: What would I do if no one else's opinion mattered? This question helps separate external pressures from your internal desires.

Peeling back these layers is like peeling an onion—it's not always easy and can bring up emotions you've been avoiding. But each layer you shed brings you closer to clarity, helping you understand what really makes your heart sing.

Aligning Your Head and Heart

Sometimes, knowing what you want feels like standing at the crossroads between logic and emotion. Maybe your head tells you to stay on the "safe" career path, while your heart urges you to pursue your passion for photography or teaching yoga.

So, how do you balance these competing voices? The answer lies in alignment. Your head is the planner, weighing pros and cons, while your heart is the emotional compass guiding you towards what feels right. Both are important, but finding harmony between them is essential in conflict.

One way to start is by practicing mindfulness. When you slow down and quiet external noise, your inner voice becomes more apparent. Techniques like meditation and journaling are invaluable here—they give you the mental space to explore your desires without judgment.

In real-life situations, ask yourself: Does this decision make me feel alive, or am I doing it because it checks all the boxes? This is where you'll notice the difference between what looks good on paper and what feels good in your gut.

Aligning your head and heart takes practice; sometimes, you'll be torn between the two. But learning to recognize and explore these moments without rushing to a decision can lead to choices that honor all aspects of who you are.

Are You Living for Others?

Have you ever felt that you're living someone else's version of your life? It's more common than you might think—people often end up on paths chosen by others, whether it's a career that's "the family tradition" or staying in a relationship because it's the comfortable option.

If that sounds familiar, it's time for some self-interrogation. Ask yourself: Am I passionate about my work or just comfortable? If the answer leans towards fulfilling other people's expectations, then it's worth reconsidering your path.

Living for others can lead to burnout and dissatisfaction, where life becomes a series of "to-dos" instead of something that excites you. The good news? You can reclaim your life by setting clear boundaries. This isn't about cutting ties with loved ones—it's about articulating what you need and creating space for it. Sometimes, those difficult conversations can lead to deeper understanding for you and the people around you.

How to Start Choosing What You Want

Taking the first step towards discovering what you truly want can be daunting. The good news is you don't have to change everything overnight.

Start small. Try exploring a passion project or experimenting with a new hobby that excites you. Whether learning graphic design or getting yoga certified, small, actionable steps can give you a clearer sense of what lights you up.

Remember, fear and guilt often appear when you change your life. You might worry about disrupting others' expectations, but your happiness matters just as much. Acknowledge the discomfort and remind yourself that every step you take toward what you want is a step toward living authentically.

And don't go it alone—reach out to friends or mentors who've taken similar journeys. They can provide invaluable support as you navigate these changes.

Embracing Your Own Path

Creating a life based on your true desires may sound overwhelming, but it's where true joy and fulfillment start. Imagine waking up every morning excited because your life reflects who you are—not who someone else wants you to be.

Think of those who've taken that leap—those who left corporate jobs to travel or went back to school to follow their passion later in life. Their journeys prove it's possible, and often, it's worth every challenge.

And here's the ripple effect: when you embrace your path, you inspire others to do the same. Your authenticity will ripple through your relationships, creating deeper connections and motivating those around you to reflect on their choices.

Your Call to Action: What Do You Want?

Now that you've reflected on external influences, tapped into self-awareness, and aligned your head and heart—it's time to circle back to the original question: What do you truly want?

This question isn't something you ask once and forget. Make it a personal mantra you revisit as you grow and evolve. Give yourself permission to change and adapt as your desires shift.

Take a moment today to consider this question. Whether it's a minor decision, like trying a new hobby, or a big one, like rethinking your career, start choosing what aligns with your desires. Your dreams are valid, and each day is an opportunity to write your own story.

Abie

Please check out my other blog posts to the right. I appreciate you. 🙏----->>>>>