Hardships turned to be a blessing

bysonto

113 followers

3 years ago

This year turned up to be the most difficult year of my life. Just when I thought I was getting the hang of it as far as WA is concerned I found myself having to take of my mother who became very ill. For me it was a no brainer that taking care my mother had to be a priority.

My mother passed away on the 29th June after what I would call a long-suffering. There is nothing as painful as having to watch your mother fighting for dear life. As life would have it, I have never really enjoyed the strong side of her because growing up I felt neglected by her. My siblings are the ones who were raised by her. I feel like my relationship with her started when I was the one who had to take care of her.

It only came as a surprise to me that when I had my own children I was able to understand her struggles.Before then, I had vowed that the only people I was going to look after where my grandparents. It was very unfortunate that as soon as I started working both my grandparent vanished from this world when I had big plans of taking care of them.

I was happy though because I got an opportunity of showing them how much I appreciated them before they died. By the time they died I had drastically changed their home which ended up being my mother's home. My energies slowly but surely changed towards taking care of my mother. As I had already said it was grudgingly in the beginning but I am glad I did it and my attitude towards her changed.

Back to my mother, daughter relationship; I enjoyed my mom so much for the past two and a half decades. I took her to holiday destinations and did a lot of fun things with her before she got ill. I believe I did enough though obviously I do have moments when I feel guilty for not having done this or that for her. God gave me blessed twenty something years with her to a point that I can never complain that she was laid to rest.

There is however no pain that can be equaled with losing a mother. I think me writing this is part of my healing process. We laid our mother to rest on the 6th of July but I still cannot Imagine life without her.

Thank God for having a family in WA. I got back to working at my website and got a "commitment badge" from WA. This makes me realize how lucky I am to have found such a family. A compliment from people who are your mentors means a lot in a world where we are taught to lean not on other people.

I am sad for losing my mother but I understand that she had to rest. I saw how much she was suffering lately and I will not regret having forged a relationship with her. Taking care of her while she was sick has become such a blessing in that today that is what brings healing to my sorrow of losing her.