Diaries of a middle aged woman part 4

bysonto

113 followers

Updated 9 months ago

Hello! Happy Sunday good friends! My name means Sunday girl or church girl. In full, I am Nomasonto I had to cut it short so that it is easy to remember. This story is not about my name at all. I want to share with you a thing or two about the gangsters that have evaded my space.

The gracious nation

Before I tell you my story let me take a detour. I am going to talk about these gracious birds, the humming doves. The very first morning after I moved into this house I woke up at the sound of these birds and it was a pleasant feeling. We had just moved away from Johannesburg South which was more city-like than rural.

I will not lie and say we did not have these birds there but the thing is we lived in a suburb that was close to the freeway. That had its conveniences though but I wouldn't trade what I have now for the noises of the freeway and the pollution thereof.

The Cute nation

Back to these doves. They look so cute as they walk as if they are about to take a waltz step. As they walk towards you changing their paces as if they are chasing you. They keep on turning their necks as they try to look at you. The turning of their necks is rhythm-like as if they are communicating something to you.

I feel like they are saying "Look at how lady-like/gentleman-like we are. I want to share your patio and I am very peaceful." Don't be fooled by their gesture as all they want is to take over your patio. If you allow them they take over and they never clean after themselves. Their lady-like walks are the only lady-like things they are willing to offer.

The poop nation

They are here to turn your patio into their toilet because they are not willing to bring their plumbing cousin to build them a decent toilet from them. They are here to turn you into their poop slave as you will always be cleaning after them. Imagine having to scrape their poop? This is a very messy, tedious exercise and a very smelly one too.

As if that is not enough, the sound of their humming which was pleasant at the time we moved is no longer as pleasant. It has now become a nightmare as they have invited their cousins, aunts, and the whole community has not come to visit but is here to stay. They sing choruses in the morning with loud voices as if they are competing. Maybe they are in a concert it's just that I am not aware of it.

The Invasion

What makes things worse is that during the day they hold day clubs (nightclubs, during the day) on top of the roof. It's not enough that they wake me earlier than I would have wanted, now they're dancing on the roof to a tune that I am not aware of. It would be better to hear what are dancing to because maybe the sound I would perhaps enjoy.

I hate to say this but my whole yard is now out of my control because the Grey community has taken over. It's insane. Can't I enjoy a moment when I am awake? I have dealt with the rat colony but now it seems like I traded it for the Grey nation.

Story of a Camel

Do you know of the story of a camel that asked to warm its nose in someone's hut? The owner allowed the camel who kept on asking for more and more and ended up taking over and leaving the owner out of his hut. That is how I feel now. It may seem a little exaggerated but I don't like what I have to go through.

Solutions

Now what is the solution? My gardener came up with a brilliant idea to put thorns on the crevices and the pillars on my patio. Thus far that's what we thought. Believe it or not these guys are as clever and strong as they come. The plan lasts for only a few days as they always figure out ways of removing the thorns.

They have also made fools out of us as they put some straws on the thorns and built nests on them, sabotaging the whole idea. I wish to have brought exhibits a, b, c, and d my lords. I did not think I'd be here trying to prove that this gang is so cunningly ruthless.

Second solution

I decided to ask my gardener to build a sliding ramp on the pillars so that they do not have a landing pad. When I built this patio I did not know that by putting these pillars; I was creating a landing pad for these helicopters. They are as noisy as hell and they are crazy. Their concerts are unending, due to their singing throughout the day.

At least for now, I am at peace in the morning, no one is starting any choruses without my permission. On the day when the ramps were completed, the nation came around as if they knew what had happened. It was scary as the sound of them flying in circles occurred. After flying for some time I heard the sounds slowly subsiding. Let the peace prevail.

It sounded like they were angry and were about to gorge my windows/sliding doors. Now they have left me in a temporary peace of my afternoons and mornings.

Sometimes we allow things to go out of hand because we allow guilt to take over. I am a victim of my demise because I was thinking maybe I should tolerate them. After all, they are part of nature. If I took a stand and set my boundaries earlier on, my grey friends would not have taken over as they did. I need to learn to validate my feeling more and stop downplaying them.

Disclaimer

Let me put a disclaimer out here, I am no animal hater. I love animals but since this is not the first time I am out here complaining about animals I feel like I have to make it clear that I do not hate them. The story about rats is similar but I believe you will understand why I had to get rid of these pests.