Remain focussed-Diaries of a middle aged woman (Part 2)

I grew up living in my grandparents' home. I was the first grandchild to live with them. When you think I was going to be the spoilt one you are wrong. My grandparents were very disappointed that my mom had a child out of wedlock. I am not insinuating that they directed their anger at me, maybe they did, I don't know.

If I were to claim that I was ill-treated it would be a blatant lie. At the time, that is what I used to feel. Now that I am older and wiser I realise that their fear was projected on me so that I shouldn't commit the same mistakes that my mother committed. They were trying to protect me from harm's way.

My Family structure

My grandfather was the main breadwinner of the family because my mother had two other children and much later a third child to look after. Therefore my grandparents took it upon themselves to make me their responsibility. I was like their last-born baby, only that I was not treated like a last-born is normally treated (spoilt). However, they took their responsibility very seriously.

With this background therefore I want to help you understand that my life was tough. My grandmother would say very hurtful words towards me whenever she felt like I was becoming anything close to my mother. I was a very forward child by nature, I talked too much and was outgoing. My grandmother didn't like that. She used to tell me that I will amount to nothing because of my personality. She could not differentiate between my character and my personality.

School challenges

I did not have a break-even at school because my family was a very well-respected and known family in the community let alone at the school that I attended. The school that I went to was a missionary school where my family used to worship. There I was compared with some of my cousins who were quiet than I was. All of us who were chatterboxes were in big trouble. This is the background I am willing to share for now.

Dream on, Fellow Dreamer

There will always be people in your journey who will try to derail you. They usually tell you that you are too much. Are you willing to ride on and pass your test? The truth is that everything that is true needs testing. We dream, and yes, we dream big, but after dreaming, we tend to lose focus. We allow circumstances to remove us from our dreams.

Sometimes we end up settling for less than what we originally dreamt of because we allowed people to tell us how impossible our dreams were.

Dreaming is one thing, but remaining focused is another. Remember that when you dream, oftentimes, you are alone. Do you know who the people with whom you can share your dreams are? Sometimes even the closest person is not the right person to tell your dreams.

Did you know that not remaining focused is the main reason why people fail in their dreams? Sometimes these voices that we refuse to shut down are the ones that crush our dreams.

You can be your worst enemy.

You should be able to shut your noise. The first person who can be very critical of yourself is you. Be careful of what you say to yourself. You are always with yourself. Therefore it is important to guard your thoughts because they can lead you astray if you are not careful.

You are the one who has control over your destiny. Therefore, you are the one to decide whether you shut the noises out or you shut them in. It is easier to shut the noises in than to shut them out. This is because, more often than not, these noises come from people we trust and love. We can not differentiate positive criticism from negative one.

The reason why I say we are our worst enemies; when we love those who are negative, we sabotage ourselves because we hope that they have the best interest, even when the opposite is true. Our hearts can tell us because they hurt when we are trampled upon, but we tend to ignore them to accommodate other people rather than believe in what our hearts tell us.

Be Decisive

When people hurt your feelings by telling you that you can not do something, believe in yourself enough to remove them. You better judge for yourself if those people are good for your journey or not. Part of remaining focused is removing people in your life. Those that do not tag along with your dream should not be kept in your midst.

There is power in being decisive when it comes to matters of your dreams. You should not allow every Tom, Dick Or Harry to tell you what you should or shouldn't do with your life. Although this can sound very harsh, some people are costly to keep around.

People who suck the life out of your dreams should be avoided at all costs.

When you are focused on the ball, you make sure that nothing stands in your way while on your way to scoring a goal. Remain focused until you reach your goal. Prove the naysayers wrong by reaching the very goals they said are impossible to reach.

In conclusion.

Make sure, though, that you enjoy your ride. There is no point in doing something for the sake of proving yourself. Prove it to yourself more than trying to prove it to others. Sometimes we try to prove things to people who are not even aware that we are busy trying to impress them. Do your best to enjoy your journey and always pat yourself on the back whenever you have achieved something. Fellow dreamers, keep on dreaming until you reach the other side.

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