Serious Business: Important Update.

Here's what my PC has done for me recently - got me spending lots of $ and laughing hysterically!

Captain's Log: 25 May 1949:

Ship arrives in Melbourne, Australia, after an uneventful journey from the other side of the galaxy. Air is fresh and fit to breathe. Natives here look remarkably similar to us, but speak a strange language. They appear to be friendly and helpful.

25 May 2014:

65 years on this island. Have traveled to many parts of it. Beautiful one day, magnificent the next. Have found a shelter on the edge of the bush. Have befriended a small quadruped who keeps me warm at night. I have named her "Jessie" and she's a bitch.

Now, technology has improved to the point where people need special devices to communicate with each other. They have to keep poking and stroking and prodding these plastic doodads with their fingers. They keep staring at these doodads and sometimes display a range of one or two emotions. Conversation has died.

My old heavy and bulky communication device malfunctioned. Repairing it has taken an inordinate amount of time and resources. Mother board is still upset and won't talk to the father board. Or the key board. I've been told I need to do a hard up on my back drive, whatever that means. Very frustrating - device doesn't think the way I do. Old methods were slower, but much more reliable. Must now go and feed my carrier pigeons.

2 June 2014:

Winter has set in. Sunny, 20 degrees. Can't wait for Summer.

Contact re-established with friends on other communication devices. Must exchange more words with them again.

IMPORTANT UPDATE!

It has been brought to my attention that you can now get "Speech Recognition" software.

This will allow you to converse - albeit one way - with electronic doodads, by speaking into a special device, a bit like a very small telephone receiver.

There are now, apparently, electronic doodads which can also talk to you. Amazing!

"At the next intersection, make a right turn."

Problem: There is a sign there saying: "NO ENTRY" so you have to go straight ahead. "Where possible, make a U Turn..." "Re-calculating..."

HA! I had speech recognition when I was about 1 year old - long before such electronic doodads were even invented! As I recall, the first voice I ever heard was female, but it was not in the least irritating.

:) george