Am I Losing My Mind? I Don't Understand.

When I joined WA back in July 2018, I had an astronomical number I was sure they had taken the sum of 2 prime numbers, multiplied that by over 60 million, separated into 2 tables with 60 squares across and 6 numbers down, and then began the process of putting them into fractions and then breaking down the number further into exponential scientific notation. The final numbers were assigned to 2 staff members from the billing department. Each were assigned 3 stubby #2 pencils and 1 Pink Pearl eraser. The final steps were done over a paid weekend where infinity, where the notation indicates that the limit is taken from the positive side of the real line. Finally, they met on Monday and requested orders for π. One had cherry and one had apple. The end result to this simple math equation was the number assigned to me as a rank.
Now, the next information I am not necessarily proud of, but it does link closely with my confusion. Counting this blog, I have written 3. I have 2 active websites that are non-producers of any wealth so far. I decided to start the entire program over in January, 2019 due to a myriad of reasons, but mostly due to life rearing it's often beautiful but in my case, ugly fork-tongue demon from hell's head!! So, here is my confusion and why I have spent the afternoon in nonstop blathering like someone whose elevator doesn't go to the top floor, or a baker who is one ingredient short for a fruit cake, or all the cheese has slid from the cracker, or one not playing with a full deck, or a few french fries short of a Happy Meal...okay stop!!! <she said to herself!!> Enough drawing this out, and I am serious to wanting an answer...Today, I was awarded a merit badge for the Top 200 with a rank of 197! There MUST be a mistake. Don't get me wrong, it is quite an honor and I will miss it when they take it away, but there is absolutely nothing I have done to warrant such an honor. I comment on blogs and answer “easy” questions all day long. (I hope they don't take that away because I love it and it has become my addiction...my life!). I am truly serious. Why? How come? If I have proved anything in this blog it is that I am certifiably daft!!! I love you all so much and yes, it is that strong. I am not the person I was when I entered WA (sounds like rehab doesn't it?). I sincerely mean this (and my husband believes it will happen anyway), if I never make a dime in this program, the relationships I have formed and the true spirit of friendship, love, and community I feel has quenched my thirst and filled my heart. You all have made a difference in my life and I will never be able to repay that blessing! 💕💞💕