Never Say Never

byLDSewell

3.1K followers

Updated 2 years ago

Never ever say never, or - be prepared to eat your own words.

Have you ever done that?

Said that you would NEVER do something, only to find yourself in a situation where that never thing you said you would never do is the best choice you have before you?

I have.

I used to hate it too.

But over the years life has continued to teach me more lessons, and now I have come to accept the fact that there are very very few things that truly deserve the NEVER shall I do that phrase or thought process.

For example - I said I would NEVER sell my last boat (31' Chris Craft Express Cruiser) which I loved far too much, and sunk a ton of money into (pun intended ; ).

But I did sell it.

Why?

Because we bought a beautiful (to us) homestead property out in the country on about two acres - and it was still only about thirty minutes to one of the largest lakes in the region.

Unfortunately, my boat was too big to legally and effectively be trailered. Which meant I could have paid slip rental fees at a marina of several hundred dollars per month - or I could have put it up on stands in my backyard.

I considered all that and more - then I sold my beloved boat.

Then I put a ton of money and blood sweat and tears into rebuilding the house we bought and cleaning up the property - which was all overgrown with weeds and bushes when we bought it. I made it more comfortable than any home we had ever had in the past.

We also put three separate outbuildings (12x16 sheds) on the property and ran power to them all. One was converted (by me ) into basically a tiny home/cottage where close friends and family would stay when they came to visit.

It was insulated, drywalled, painted, decorated, and had most things you need to be comfortable. A fridge, microwave, coffee bar, and Keurig, queen-sized bed, writing desk, heat, air conditioning, cell chargers, and a large flat-panel TV with DVD player and access to hundreds of DVDs. It also had a small deck in front of it just big enough for two people.

The second cottage had French Doors and was finished out with all the same amenities except it had a single bunk that doubled as a couch during the day and a full bank of cubes (Ikea) taking up most of one wall - and a few narrow glass desks. This was my Wife's office and studio/craft room etc.

In front of the French doors was a deck, I built that could hold about ten people comfortably.

The last building was my workshop.

It not only had power but had its own sub panel with enough juice available to power another entire home. That was for planned future shop needs...

I invested more than four thousand dollars in widening one of our two driveway entrances and putting down multiple tons of rock/gravel and grading it all first to have a very nice driveway and turnaround for "Revenge" and was it ever nice... I could have easily parked four tractor trailers there and not been crowded at all.

The house itself was basically gutted and rebuilt. We changed the layout, updated all systems, wiring, plumbing, etc., and turned what used to be the entire bathroom into our shower.

That was a point of pain for my wife when we bought the home we came to call "Cloverlee".

The first time she ever entered it was after we bought it - all she had seen prior were pictures. She had to go to the bathroom since it had been a long ride to the attorney's office for closing and another thirty minutes from there to our house.

The bathroom was so tiny and cramped with a sink, tub/shower, and toilette all crammed into about a 6 x maybe 6 or so space she had to sit sideways on the toilet to use it - and I damn near needed to just put my feet in the tub if I needed to use it.

To add to the insult - the bathroom entry door was less than six feet high! WTF... was my first thought, as I am about 6' 4" and had to duck down just to get in the tiny bathroom.

But the yard, the land was beautiful. It was quiet and nice there. It had massive potential in my eyes.

She was so upset she almost didn't see all the other beauty of the place - but I told her " Don't worry baby - I will fix it." and so I did. I turned the entire original bathroom into our shower. One very nice shower with tile everywhere wall to wall, floors, and ceiling.

It had two shower heads installed one a rain head from the ceiling and another a mounted wand mount on the wall.

Then I had them raise the entry at the floor about four inches and tile that and tile the entire bathroom floor along with raising the thresholds a half-inch - to contain any water that might escape the shower. So no shower curtain was needed and no shower enclosure door etc.

Of course, we increased the entry height to normal too.

Just step in and enjoy!

I also left the original bathroom window - and had them fabricate a clear panel of glass for the inside so it was fully waterproof - and we never used a curtain - so you had a nice view outside while you showered. Hey it's the country... and you can do that there - though I don't recommend trying that in the city ; )

The shower became one of her favorite parts of the home.

I repeatedly said, " We leave here when we die, and not before".

That I meant it when I said it too.

Although we considered that we might want a second home in the future - once our business was providing that kind of income, but even then it would only be a second home. Not " our home".

But life has both its blessings and its challenges.

My wife developed Lymphademia just before we bought the house - and it got worse over time.

Lymphedema causes some very real problems - and that has changed so many of our plans - as it has changed her life, her daily realities, and mine.

You may or may not know what that is - and in case you don't, it is where lymph fluid builds up in your body and causes all kinds of problems.

There is no cure - though there are treatments and things that can be done to lessen the pain, discomfort, and impact, which of course we do.

But the reality is it dramatically negatively affects her ability to move on her own - and when I am near her she is confident and will move because she feels safe knowing I am near her and I can help her if she needs me.

However, to operate our trucking business from Cloverlee successfully would require frequent overnight trips - and when she is out in the middle of the country with no family and no immediate infrastructure - and I am gone - that situation is terrifying to her.

It became obvious that we would have to find better ways...

Life Happens So We Must Adapt

That is reality. Period.

So...

After many discussions and considerations as to what we should do, I made the decision to relocate our business to an area we are very familiar with and that is excellent for trucking, has great infrastructure, and is where our son lives. He is a State Trooper who can swing by and check on her anytime.

He and his coworkers (off duty/friends) and our other family members in the area could also get to her literally within just a few minutes in a real emergency. Other emergency services would arrive in less than five minutes to ten at the most, should she ever need them (vs thirty-five or more at Cloverlee).

More than anything else that gives her much greater peace of mind when I am gone for 14 hours at a time.

The original idea was to open our office - build our business - and begin doing live workshops and training for Risk Management/DOT Compliance and Trucking Business Management topics along with our online courses which we already do on a variety of businesses, and entrepreneurship and of course trucking-related topics.

To keep increasing our online course library - and add more ebooks, as well as working to continue to build our Print On Demand business as we also build our affiliate marketing business.

The location of our office and its amenities were chosen to accommodate such future plans - and to be a recruiting and onboarding location for adding additional Owner Operator truck drivers to our fleet as we begin to build our own fleet next year.

Build the business. Build reserves. Be more comfortable taking time off. Go home on weekends and one week per month...

That was THE PLAN.

Then reality had other plans.

Her condition worsened somewhat and it makes it very painful and very unpleasant for her to make the trips. So we found ourselves seldom ever going home. I went every few weeks to check on the property and do maintenance and return here. She was not able to go - so I squeezed all that into one long-ass day (4.5 hours each way plus work time onsite). 15 to 18 hours total (which counted as my Off Day ; )

So I thought I would buy a Camper and we could stay in it very close to our office - and that would negate the need for her to travel long trips in vehicles.

"Sarah" was the name we gave the 2022 Forst River Salem we bought - and it was beautiful.

We slept in it exactly one night.

It was very difficult for my wife to climb the few steps needed to get in it, and she found the interior seating and the bed to be very uncomfortable for her because of her condition. I thought about ripping out the bed and the setee and reworking it - but that would be a shame to do to a brand new RV - and even then she thought it would not be adequate.

It also would not solve her issues getting in and out of the thing.

So I sold "Sara" back to the same dealer we bought her from ( for a loss of several thousand dollars of course ; )

Oh well... that's how it goes sometimes.

It became clear she would need a real house HERE.

She would not be able to travel in our truck. Nor live aboard campers or RVs or Boats (as we have done in years gone by at times).

When I did take time to go - it was time away from my wife as she could no longer accompany me. Our home Cloverlee - once so loved - had become a stone around my neck and a burden to our family.

Yet it was a substantial investment and could not be left alone for too long. So I had to go check on it periodically and take care of it, as I mentioned.

That meant our beautiful home was now a burden - and one I worried about when I couldn't get to it for too many weeks at a time.

I thought seriously about Airbnb - and actually set up an account - and had several people wanting to rent it - but I kept pushing out the dates and not allowing it to be rented.

I just didn't have the time to worry about somebody tearing up our home and me being too far from it to effectively manage it personally. Though I did give that much thought, and believe under different circumstances it could be very profitable.

After much research and consideration, I still believe Airbnb could be a great Income production opportunity! Just not that house not right now and not in our current circumstances.

Just the wrong time and situation for us at this time.

But maybe some other properties near here ( a little over an hour or so from DC and near some beautiful things to do and see ) will work better - in the future - but not right now.

Reluctantly, the reality became clear to me that I was about to once again eat my words, and the homestead I would "Never sell" was about to go on the market...

And so it has - and there are no tears and no regrets.

Just reflections on the realities of life and the requirements that we must all adapt one way or another and like it or not - when circumstances change.

Sometimes decisions have to be made. Some are harder than others.

This one was not really that tough - once I weighed all the pros and cons of each possible alternative.

I decided to sell it and close that chapter in our book of life - as we now open a new chapter in the same book.

It was under contract almost before the ink on the listing paperwork dried and had an excited new buyer within a very short time from being made available - despite the fact I would NOT allow any signs on the property and no canvassing of neighbors, etc.

Closing is scheduled to be within a few days (of course nothing is done until it's done ; ) so we are looking forward to getting it done and over and moving on.

So we keep moving on and keep working to build our business and keep following our own vision and philosophy of Build Your Own Business Empire day by day by day.

We make the decisions that must be made and we take the actions that must be taken to make progress and to do BETTER...

So How About You?

Have you ever had to "Eat Your Own Words"?

What similar decisions have you had to make?

Best Regards,

L.D. Sewell