Failure is an event, not who you are

byKarin13

5.5K followers

7 years ago

In one of the multitude of emails that I receive from the many places I have "opted in" for a "free" something or other, I read this one in a newsletter I get from Mel Robbins. She was talking about the difference between guilt and shame.

For example: "It’s the difference between saying 'I did a bad thing' (guilt) and 'I’m a bad person' (shame)." she wrote.

I like the phrasing of failure is an event, (something we can feel guilt about) and not who you are (something we would say to shame ourselves).

We all make mistakes (fail) from time to time. Some of us fail at something every single day (I should know, I'm one of them.) As long as we do not shame ourselves by calling ourselves "failures" we can rise above whatever thing we failed at. But when we see ourselves as "failures" pretty soon we take on the attitude that we "can't do anything right!" Even if we know that is hogwash, we still tell ourselves that we are worthless, good for nothing whatevers!

Face a failure for what it is—a failure. That's all. It is NOT who you are or who you will become.

So, you didn't meet every single goal on your "to-do" list for the day or the week... that doesn't make you a failure. It just means that you failed at that thing. If you are like me, you probably set some unreasonably high expectations anyway.

Try again.

And again.

And again.

And at least one more time, if necessary.

Hoping everyone has a great "shame-free" weekend!
Karin :)