Don't Look Back at the Past, Look Towards the Future!
Throughout my life, I've been called two things above all others. People called me either weird, or chill, and there was never an in between. If I let loose an emotion that didn't align with my being chill, they would call me weird. It was basically the duality of my character.
Because of that, I always thought I was doing something wrong if someone called me weird, and I would internalize. The cycle would continue through most of my time in school, and even through college. That is why during my time in college, I simply didn't reach out to those around me. I kept completely to myself unless, of course, I had a discussion board post to make for the week.
It even got to the point where I didn't talk, genuinely, to anyone for months...yes, MONTHS, at a time. The only conversations I had were those I had at my job or in discussion boards, and those tended to be on the side of the mundane. This is exactly where I saw my mental health begin to decline. All the while, people would still call me weird, and I would again repeat the cycle I mentioned before.
At the time, much of my attitude came from how I blamed my past for my then-current situation. I resented being forced into attending college, and being forced to get good grades, and being forced to internalize my feelings. Not much about me was positive at all.
Where did all of this dwelling on my past get me?
I'll answer that. Absolutely NOWHERE.
While I was busy internalizing my hatred and anger, someone that had been in my life since the beginning decided to invite me to her birthday party (Childhood friend). Mind you, I've never been to one of her birthday celebrations since I've known her. I, for some reason, went, and I was able to see the state of her being. It made me realize how far I had erred in my actions leading up to that point.
This didn't change anything just yet, BUT, I did begin to pick up my faith on my own for the first time in my life, because of this childhood friend of mine. Just seeing her carry herself the way she did, and does, made me want to be like that.
I did just that.
Since then a year and a half has gone by. She has also invited me to attend a very small church in Kansas City, Missouri, which I now do. Thankfully, the people within are trustworthy, and they know not to spread their faith through hatred and condemnation (If you didn't know already, this is a huge problem with Christianity), but with love, compassion, and empathy.
On top of all of that, I am now focused on what I can do now and in the future to better myself, as well as all of my relationships. I've even left the friend groups I had that displayed nothing but negative thinking, toxicity, and narcissism. I don't think I've ever been so whole in my life before.
I was finally able to acknowledge my past, INSTEAD of dwelling on it. Once you do that, you've got your mindset in the right place.
So, I would like to encourage you all to keep your heads up and look towards the future with faith and courage!
Also, keep your head on a swivel, since there will always be people who want to knock you off your game!
Love,
Jesse
Recent Comments
11
That's an awesome testimony!
Jesse, you've come so far and you are still making positive progress.
Those feelings and hurtful words may return.
Never forget the precious steps that you have taken to get to where you are.
It is always good to be at peace with yourself
I wish you well throughout your personal and entrepreneurial journey
I'm fully aware that these feelings will return sometime, but it's this new mindset of mine that I will now be able to fight it! Thanks for your endearing words, it truly means a lot!
I know with God who will continue to strengthen your mindset , you will always be victorious
Well said, Jesse! We all tend to look at our past more than we should! We should try to look forward rather than in the rearview mirror, although this is much easier said than done in a lot of cases!
Jeff
Exactly! I was indeed stuck in the loop of looking back instead of forward for most of my life. At the end of the day, it takes a change from deep within one's self for us to better ourselves.
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The YOUniverse gives you back the vibrations, situations, affiliations you give it. It reflects on all of this as if you are saying, "This is what I want more Of!"
Showing up differently, with not only a mindset, but with HEART set, because, heart message "send" around the world in way less than a second.
What does this mean?
Mindset is will. If you are a souled out servant for the Creator, a faithful male servant is called a doulos.
If female, she is called a doule. accent on the e. So it says dou lay.
Key phrase to remember, is
a Doulos, never does less than his God requires.
And a doule, well, she does not delay!
Both jump to it.
Mindset is necessary to be deeper it must be commitment.
HEART SET adds immense speed to the result.
there is a 3rd part, but this is enough for today.
Also with much love,
Zay