Conditioning and How to Overcoming Stinking Thinking

When was the last time you reflected on what and how you think? Or, perhaps more importantly, why you think it? Often we do no realize that we are conditioned to believe certain things.

For instance, I grew up in the stereotypical "dysfunctional" household with an abusive alcoholic step-father. Until I finally left home for the military, I had been told constantly that I would never amount to anything (usually accompanied with a physical beating of some kind.) Do you think this affected my views about myself and life in general? Of course it did. How could it not? In fact, I continued to hear his message inside my head long after he had passed away.

In my early 40's, I decided to return to school. I achieved my undergraduate degree with a 3.5 and a masters with a 4.0. Furthermore, while in school I had the opportunity to participate in an IQ test. The result? 144. Yep... borderline genius level.

The point is certainly not that I am anything special. I only bring such details up to demonstrate one thing. By all accounts, I am considered "bright", "gifted", "intelligent", and yes, even successful. The complete opposite of the old man's opinion of me, right? Ah, but therein lies the rub. All through college, I still heard my step-father's voice in my head. Even with all of that so-called proof, there were still days that I believed that I would not amount to a hill of beans, especially if I was sick or fatigued.

So, the real question is, how do we overcome such stinking thinking? The first key is awareness. Reflecting on your thoughts -- particularly the negative ones -- begins with acknowledging they are there in the first place. (I would be willing to bet that many of the people who fail at Wealthy Affiliate do so for reasons associated with conditioning rather than any technical mistakes they made.)

Next is understanding the bigger picture. We all have to have goals. The trick is to set a goal so big, with a strong enough reason why you want it, that it will allow you to overcome any obstacle, including your conditioning.

Then, determine what roles you play in your life now. Addressing each one at a time, where did you learn that role? Who told you that you had to play such a role? If it is a role you have consciously chosen then great, but if it is something someone else set for you, you need to recognize it and ask if the role in alignment with who you really are?

Finally, you must understand what you are getting out of it. Sounds strange, doesn't it? I mean, after all, who wants to think and feel this way, right? But it's true. At some level, we believe we are benefiting from hanging onto that role and belief. The way out is to focus on the alternative: what benefit would you get by changing? Who would you become if such roles were to simply disappear?

The goal is to strip away any beliefs and roles that do not serve you, and to plant in their place the seeds of a different reality and a better future.