A Gentle Answer.
This is Elodie Fleming shouting out from hot Trinidad and Tobago where we're preparing for the greatest show on earth and the seventh wonder of the world, T&T carnival. A midst the rising cases of Covid19, preparations are going at a fast pace.
This story is personal, so I choose to share it with you guys hoping for your feedback and thoughts. When someone disagrees with you, how do yor react, would you be tender without surrender as the saying goes?
Have you ever been mistreated, degraded, stepped on or ignored, it is a very disconsolate feeling, for everything you try to do to help people they don't seem to appreciate it.
Anger
You'll always meet people who like to be at variance with you, it seems as though this is a profound trait of theirs to provoke and anger people. How would you respond if you're in a situation like that.
This is where maturity steps in, you just ignore them for "Silence is golden or A still tongue keeps a wise head". Nothing infuriates someone when they feel belittled, they would do their best to retaliate in an offensive manner to get your reaction. When you try to reason with them or come to an amicable decision, they react with derogatory remarks.
What would you do, would you retreat in fear?
Choose peace
Many people including me choose the peaceful way out, they haven't developed the ability to respond in anger. If you're a peace at any rate person, it'll have hidden cost in your life's most important relationship.
Another response
You can choose to be angry, anger is a tell tale sign of insecurity because you feel unconfident and threatened by someone's disapproval.
It might be an indication that says you're about to loose some thing dear to you. Often it might be your job, it might be someone who is terminally ill or a situation that is totally out of your control. When these incidences crop up we tend to be sarcastic and castigate the other persons dignity.
Respond in Dignity
To avoid confrontation and aphorism, is best to communicate in gentleness. "A gentle answer quiets anger but harsh words stirs up rage". This is the kind of behavior that requires a fine balance between maitaining your right to your opinion, while equally respecting the other persons rights to their school of thought.
If you have ever found yourself in a precarious situation, where you had to make a personal choice in the absense of complete external evidence; you were forced to take a stand against your belief. How would see throught someone else's eyes without compromising your self.
Have a great evening. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
Recent Comments
19
I must admit that on occasion, I knee-jerked and responded with anger, Elodie! I will go with your Gentle answer, because it is very true, indeed! I have done that a lot! I've also heard it called "Killing with Kindness". The angry person feels ashamed and usually relents!
Some excellent thoughts here, my friend!
Jeff
Great tips here, Elodie.
Most of the time, I walk away from the scene.
I have learned over time that words, once spoken, cannot be retrieved. Therefore, it's best to exercise some moment of silence and patience.
Thank you for sharing.
Well said, Elodie!
Something that I've been practicing for several years now
Love the way you put it nicely
Hi Simone you look different, thank you for your beautiful comment, this is a situation we deal with daily. Blessings.
Elodie, I practice the 3's, when I get agitated.
Be quiet!
Back up
And Breathe.
When something hits the fan, I step away! My mouth can add fuel to the fire, and I am the one that feels badly when I react.
"We cease fighting" so I keep my integrity intact be simply backing away.
If I do need to "respond" , I can do that at a later date. Emotions are not raw, and usually a common respect for each other can be restored.
If not, oh well...
Angry people, share their venom with many others, too.
When folks aren't adding value to my life, they are subtracting, so sometimes we need to let that relationship go.
Thanks for sharing, Elodie. Wonderful food for thought!
Barb
Hi Barb you talk like, when the, my mouth can add fuel to the fire so I go and get some water and cool of. Thank you for the beautiful comment.
Blessings.
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Thank you so much for sharing. Most people in my family are extremely angry and hostile. Luckily in the last 6 years or so I have transcended this terrible habit for the most part though of course I am not perfect. When my siblings start screaming and going crazy, I am able to stay calm and nicely tell them have a nice day and I need to go now!
On the other hand I know a person that seems to be afraid of any conflict at all, he won't stand up for himself because he is so adverse to conflict. I don't think this is any way to live happily.
Don't live a life of anger and pointless conflict and arguing, but don't be afraid to be assertive and stand up for yourself either!