Classic deft definitions! - crisp and clear

byDilbert

693 followers

12 years ago

I found this in my email sent by a friend. Mostly amusing; some thought provoking.

Ant: A busy insect that still finds time to go to picnics.

Adder: Mathematically inclined snake.

Atheism: Non-prophet organization.

Babies: Nature's way of showing people what the world looks like at 2 a.m.

Baby sitter: A teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.

Buffet: A French word which means "Get up and get it yourself."

Charisma: That mysterious something that bald, dull billionaires have.

Comic books: The opera of the print media.

Drama: What literature does at night.

Ecstasy: Discovering a second layer of chocolates under the first.

Ego trip: Something that never gets you anywhere.

Emergency numbers: Police station, fire department, and places that deliver.

Eternity: The first 60 seconds of a blind date.

Etiquette: Learning to yawn with your mouth closed.

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose.

Fear: Excitement in need of an attitude adjustment.

Great economist: Someone who, tomorrow, is perfectly capable of explaining why what he forecasted yesterday didn't happen today.

Kissing: A means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other.

Marriage: A friendship recognized by the police.

Mobile phones: The only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest.

Net worth: Fisherman's income.

Perfectionist: A person who takes great pains and gives them to others.

Pessimist: Someone who complains of the noise when opportunity knocks.

Poise: The ability to continue speaking fluently while the other fellow is picking up the cheque.

Quartet: Where all four think the other three can't sing.

Real Patriot: The fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.

Semiconductors: Part-time band leaders.

Slimming: Living beyond your seams.

Summer vacation: When parents suddenly realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

Superstition: Dark side of wonder.

Tattoo: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.

Walking: A form of exercise that loses some appeal when it's done behind a lawn mower.

Workaholic: Someone whose favorite entertainment is Monday morning.