The Signs Are There - I Left my Job

I wrote the draft for "The signs are There" several months ago but I didn't publish it. Now that I read it again, it applies to my situation now, because after nearly 14 years I left my day job. I left school.

Not because my website is makig me loads of cash. I wish that were the case but I think I'm going to have to be more patient for that.

I left school in the middle of the school year, for many reasons, for many things that happened and the last thing was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

The following is my draft for "The Signs are There" which I wrote several months ago:

So much is happening, and it all points to one thing. Change is coming, not just one minor change, but many big changes. I can feel it. I know it. And still, I am still inwardly debating ... I know and yet, I still don't know ...

So, I decided to blog about it, and see what you think about this. My friend tells me that deep down I already know, and he's right. He asked me "what do you want?" and I told him "I want to live of my books and of my websites."

"Then focus all your energy on that," he replied, and he is so right.

Reality starts kicking in sometimes, and I do not want to consider it for fear of letting bad energy in, but I do have to feed 7 dogs and 3 cats, and pay off a few things, so a steady income is still required.

My books are good. The few people who read them tell me that. No one is noticing them, however, and it's understandable. Millions of books are advertised on Amazon, many of them not by authors but by people who want to make a quick buck. I get it. So, to make your book noticed, you have to work really hard, it's like getting your website noticed among billions of other websites. I think you can relate ;-)

I have a new book that will be released in May. In all honesty, though, I have given up on the dream of living of my books. Well, not completely, I still want it, but I don't believe in it much anymore. I don't need the pep talk of "you won't get it if you don't believe it". I've been wriitng books since I was 6, for more than 40 years.

So ...

I'll keep on writing because it's in my blood but I am not going to continue believing in living of my books.

I can live of working online. Months before I left my job in school I started teaching German online. I have fun with it. It's unstable because you don't know how long your students stay with you but it has always been a nice extra cash.

Ever since the school year started in August 2021 I have wanted to leave. I loved the lockdown. I loved working from home and I couldn't adapt to the new old normal. I also had a year and a half break from screaming kids or kids that use any sign of "weakness" they perceive in you to get back at you, or talk back or do all the things that make them look "cool" in class; and although I had always handled it well I wasn't ready to deal with that again. I love my students, I always have. They're the reason I have lasted in this school for nearly 14 years, but ... it's a psychologically challenging job ... and this year there were issues with other factors besides class that were just too much.

I wanted out, but I wasn't ready because I wasn't making enough money online.

Then, a student falsely accused me of something I did not do. It was a heavy accusation that could get me in serious trouble, and she did it to get back at me because I had told her off for disruptive behavior that I had been putting up with for months.

I was terrified. I know how many teachers' careers and even lives have been destroyed over a false accusation and I knew that being innocent didn't mean squat. I was scared ...

I am very fortunate that my boss trusted his gut instinct about me and knew that the girl was lyiing, but he had to investigate it. My innocence was proven, but the experience rattled me and I understood how vulnerable my position was there ... So much bad stuff had happened this school year. So I took it as a sign to finally leave, and I resigned.

Thursday 7 April was my last day. I officially left school, after all this time. Students were sad. They took photos with me and told me they didn't want me to leave, but I have given enough and enough has been taken from me ...

Being a teacher is such hard work and most people don't even know it ...

It is a job that is underappreciated, undervalued, and underpaid. I've seen comments by people who say that we have so much vacation time and we have it "easy", but that vacation time is sorely needed.

I do not understand how athletes make millions when teachers who prepare adults of the future make peanuts and go through hell.

I thought that I deserved better than this. So, I finally left.

I think I made the right decision. I know that I can increase my online classes and live of that. There are also other ways I can make money online, and in the meantime I will continue working on my website(s). I am FREE now, truly free, and it feels wonderful! I just let the chickens out of their area and I finally had time to sit down and spend some time with them. I get up when I wake up, not when the alarm clock rings in the darkness. I am working from home now.

I know I can build up my online earnings. WA is taking a while but I know that I can do this, that I can truly live off online work. the laptop lifestyle.

A friend told me that the false accusation - as ugly as it was - perhaps gave me the push I "needed" to do what I had been pining for. I don't ever want to to through the experience of being investigated over a false accusation but I guess I am now free of it all.