Where is civility?

Man, do we need help! I watch the news broadcasts, read the news articles on the internet; I wonder where we are headed. What is happening to the human race? If we go on in the same manner, we are in deep doo doo. Ok, I can still keep a sense of humor, can’t I? Seriously though, where are we headed?

I am one of the baby boomers. When I was growing up I learned to say, “please and thank you.” Mother taught my brother and me to use good manners including: be well behaved, be courteous, be civil, be respectful, think of others before yourself, be kind, help others in need, don’t speak ill of others, treat others the same way you want to be treated.

In those days, men and women respected each other. Men looked after their girlfriends, wives, sisters and women in general. I am all for equality between men and women, but no matter what anyone says, we are not the same. There are physiological and psychological differences, and I’m not sure I want to change that. Yes, women deserve the same wages if they do the same work. Women are just as intelligent as men. Research has proven, though, that our brains are wired differently and we approach and process the world in different manners.

Ok here comes a birdwalk (my term for straying from the point.) We once had a guest speaker present to the entire faculty. She was heavily involved in brain research and her specialty was the similarities and differences in how each gender’s brain perceived, processed, and reacted to information. She began the presentation with an assessment that tested our approach. The premise was that there are physiological and cognitive differences inherent in the brain.

Here’s the birdwalk from the birdwalk. I taught theatre for upwards of 30 years, that included directing all the stage productions and building all the sets. I learned early on – don’t mess with the techies (light crew, set crew, costume crew, etc.), they are worth their weight in gold. It was difficult to get volunteers for set building, so the actors were required to help at two Saturday set building sessions. The males were far more enthusiastic. Me? I had my handy dandy paint-stained overalls with my handy dandy toolbelt stuffed with screws, nails and tools hanging from every loop and stuffed in every pocket. On those days I had to go into my macho mode for the day, think like a man.

Back on point! At the presentation, remember the presentation? Anyway, the assessment she gave us mapped out how our brains process information. Were we more masculine or feminine? I was all over the charts!! Naturally we all have male and female influences in our brains; Male: aggressive, fact driven, straight to the point; Female: emotional, empathetic, intuitive. You get the point! We can also cultivate and be stronger in some areas, but basically the brain is the brain. You’ve had the same one since you were born. You may purposely adapt how you process, but if you allow your brain to function normally, without trying to mold it, you will be further in one camp than the other.

(BIRDWALK, I hate chick flicks and stupid comedies, I want action/adventure or intellectual.)

Result of the assessment? I think and process a lot of information like a man, but I also have a dominant feminine side. I have trained myself to be able to go back and forth between the two.

So what is the point I am trying to make? Masculine and feminine approaches differ. Neither is any better or worse. It seems that die-heart feminists miss this point. Sometimes ladies take women’s lib too far. I’m not going to rip my bra off and burn it in the street because a man treats me with respect. (not a pleasant image, anyway.) I still enjoy the care from my man. I appreciate him holding the door open for me and I love how he helps me around the house. He was raised at a time when courtesy was a factor in all relationships. What I love most of all, however, is his empathy. He instinctively knows when there is something wrong and he won’t stop until he uncovers what it is. He is my stanchion in life. Without him, I would not survive most days. As my mother taught me, I am courteous and appreciative in return. If I were a staunch feminist, I would have driven him away by now.

So, where is this going? I think common courtesy is missing today. We have forgotten the golden rule….Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. Unfortunately, many celebrities, leaders and would be leaders have tossed common courtesy out the window. As those we should look up to, they are setting a horrible example with their behavior. They rail about each other rather than taking a look and reflecting on their own behavior. We all know who I am talking about.

Is there any decent men or women interested in leading our country? Will we be able to recover from the damage already reaped? Unfortunately, I think this is just the beginning. I pray it does not lead to violence, anger and rage against each other. We certainly don’t respect people today.

Maybe we need to put the anger away and turn to the man upstairs for some help. Let’s hope he listens and helps reinstall caring in our hearts.