Wow, Brad! I see that you have received enough advice on this to keep you busy for awhile! Great job reaching out and utilizing your resources! I wish You all the Luck in the World!!

In addition to Leo's advice, you might consider the tense and I think the term is 'point of view' of your bullet points. In my experience people respond best to present tense rather than past tense, and respond least to third person point of view. For example, right now your site says, "With this system it is possible to achieve...increased energy". Instead, consider changing it up to be more direct, personal and present. "With this system YOU will have....MORE energy", etc. Not necessarily with the caps - I don't have any experience yet with style and internet marketing. I just have a lot of experience with writing and editing.

I also have experience as an obese woman looking for a way to lose weight. I will be blunt because I am among your target audience and want to see you succeed. At this moment I would not respond to your page. You haven't given me good enough reason to believe you have something different or special that no one else can give me. You've given me a list of promises of what your diet plan could achieve, but so does everyone else with a plan. Until I watched the video, I had no idea it was a three-week diet plan either. I realize I am a newbie at building a site from a marketing point of view, but as a potential customer, I would have wanted to see this fact right up front. It's a huge selling point! You mean I only have to stick to it for three short weeks? Awesome! Definitely this information will generate a lot more interest, but it isn't mentioned in the text at all. It should be the header IMO.

Another thought - I see this all over with news articles. Consider putting the transcript of the video into text below as your first testimonial. She says a lot of important points about the diet plan and not everyone likes to watch the videos. Some of us prefer to read - it's faster. I can skim an article much faster than I can watch a video, and sometimes I'm not in a place where I want people around me to hear the video, but I still want to know what's in it.

You've also given me no reason to believe I will achieve the results you list with your plan. You've given no clue as to what kind of plan it is - paleo, ketogenic, low carb, low fat/high carb, etc. or why it will work even if I'm lazy as your domain name suggests (which, when it comes to exercise, I am!).

Three other things I look for when considering an eating plan to lose weight - science, a health professional's endorsement and testimonials. I want to see that there are scientific studies backing up the plan and proof that it works in the form of testimonials from at least three people who have tried and succeeded with the plan.

The single video is good to see, but at the end of the video it directs me to click on a link below but there is no link that I can see.

For me, I want to see at least three testimonials of people who say your plan delivers on your promises. That would make me consider giving you my email address to get my free report. I bet you'll generate more sign-ups and more conversions if you have a few quotes from people who have succeeded with the plan. They don't have to be long and involved. Just a few lines from each. If you don't have any testimonials, consider asking friends and family to try the plan for 30-90 days and give you a testimonial for your site.

Having a physician or other health professional's endorsement if not of your plan directly, then a positive quote regarding the TYPE of plan you are promoting, would also generate trust in what you are offering.

I hope this helps you achieve your goal. Wishing you all the best!
Kathy

Hi Brad, I had a look at your site. I wanted to see what the giveaway was so i put in one of my email accounts that i use for this type of thing and i have still got nothing...it has been over 4 hours. Is this a gimmick? Do people actually get anything? not sure how this sort of site works...maybe you could enlighten me?

With regard to the layout etc. i think that leoemery has pretty much covered everything. If you think i can help in anyway, please get back to me :-) and you are doing VERY WELL so keep it up....DONT GIVE UP......this is a learning curve for all of us :-)) Tania

I read Leo's instruction, and I agree, my 2 cents, Only make the STOP in red, and use green bullet points, if you keep using them. It looks spammy, all that red.

I'm going to be very straight forward. This is a badly laid out (designed) squeeze page. But don't worry my first few squeeze pages were not any better. But we live, learn and grow.

Also you're way further ahead then many people online, most people don't even create a squeeze page, so good on you. Be very proud of what you have done so far.

If you're going to still use optimize press, (there are way better options then optimize press)

Take a look at Thrive: https://thrivethemes.com/landingpages/

Here's a few things you need to do with the current page.

1) Remove the image and video above your optin form, they are not needed - you have the one video already and the image is useless. Plus you always want the optin form above the fold of your site. You don't want people to have to scroll to see your complete form

2) Get rid of the * beside your bullet points and create a disclaimer link and place that on the bottom of your page and then have the disclaimer you have below your bullet points on this other page.

Also to satisfy any PPC programs the links you need are a Privacy link, a Affiliate disclaimer link (that's the one you have now) and a Contact link. And PPC programs like to see the contact link very visable.

Here's a squeeze page I create for the WA, see the links - one at the top and the rest at the bottom. http://netwiseprofitsfreecourse.com/

3) Remove comments, this is a landing page not a social page.

4) Remove the bold text below your bullet points telling people to get thier free report. You have that already above your optin, and your optin will move up once you get rid of the video and image.

5) Reduce the number of bullet points 3 or 4 is enough, pick the top ones, use these to create more curiosity.

6) Get rid of your JVzoo link below your video. Remember a squeeze/optin page gives people only one choice optin or leave.

Once you've cleaned this page up, it's now time to test things. And you do that by adding, moving and changing elements. Of course only change 1 thing at a time, this way you know what is working and what's not working.

As for your conversion rate, well as you can tell the page right now does not convert, and it's for some of the reason's mentioned.

As for the conversions once people subscribe, well that's a whole new set of challenges, again things that can be worked on.

Hope this helps - have a good weekend

Hi Brad, I will have a look at the websiste and see if i can help in anyway. I am not quite at the same stage but you never know. I will get back to you either way. :-)) Tania