Walking away from mediocrity
Yesterday, I left my super toxic job. I haven't talked much about it on many social networks because I have people from the company as friends and don't want to color their future by my experience. But I see it as relevant to how I've felt since I joined WA and wanted to mention it...
My job itself was okay. I used to specifically enjoy going in to work, as a matter of fact. But when I asked for a promotion, I was told I would be merging my existing position with the new duties. I asked if some of the existing duties could be given out to others to help me fit everything into 8 hours a day. I was told I could, so I agreed. Before long, my manager decided the other people weren't competent and I needed to just handle everything. I also took on the tech role in the company. I couldn't fit it all into a day and wasn't allowed overtime.
Before long, it became, "You're clearly not doing anything back there because x problem exists." So I fixed that problem. Then, it was, "I don't know what I'm paying you for because y problem exists." So I fix y problem too. When problem z came along, I was done. I was sick of having my job threatened by someone who never meant to go through with firing me. I was sick of the sales manager treating me like a child. "Look at this and tell me what's missing," was the most offensive. He'd laugh and hang up on me.
I was sick of never getting recognition for what I had done. All the other departments had an easier time doing their jobs because of the work I'd done, and they got credit for their improvements. She'd keep telling me, "It all starts in your department" but when everybody else improved, there was no, "It started with you, thank you" toward me. I toiled over how to fix it for months, how to be better. I started making stupid mistakes because I FELT STUPID. And not speaking egotistically, but it's a fact that I've always been super intelligent. I REMADE that department. EVERY PERSON in that department regularly does something nobody had accomplished before I started there. And yet, I couldn't manage to perform basic tasks without messing up.
I am done with having to worry about what my day is going to be like. I want to be confident in myself again. I want my work to be its own reward. I want to wake up and see the fruits of my labor without care for anybody else's review. In the mean time while I'm building up my website, I've accepted a position paying about $10k more a year where I'm allowed to function more independently. When I left my job yesterday at the end of the day, bittersweet and sad for what I'd wanted that position to be, I gave my boss a thank you for the opportunity and wishes that she hits the goals she wants to. Her reply... "Did you leave your key?"
I think that says it all.
Recent Comments
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Congrats ! So sounds like the right move. I hope it works until this does and you don't need any job !
Mike
Wow, her last words were did you leave your key? No nice working with you, No good luck to your future, No you've done a great job, we wish you the best?
I'm sure a great weight is off your shoulders now. You have a plan now and I'm sure your confidence is already up. No one wants to live a life of low self esteem because of a job. I remember going to a toxic job it's no fun.
I'm glad you made a great decision to detox and move forward to a dream life future. Many blessings to you Jennifer, you should be proud of yourself. :)
Congratulations I have been in your shoes a few times over work now I know that it whatever work I put in is down to me. There was a time when you got respect for your efforts and companies appreciated you now they are few and far between.. wish you every success