Taking a day off today feeling down a bit

byapache1

11.5K followers

Updated 3 years ago

Hi All

Tomorrow is the 28th of December 2020, which is always a bit of a downer for me.

The reason being is that on this day, my father passed away from a stroke, which caused a brain hemorrhage. Two days earlier, he had a stroke on the 26th of Dec 2005, and then two days after that, that second stroke caused the brain hemorrhage that took him away.

I feel a bit down; what makes matters worse because three years after he passed away on the same date, 28th Dec, I had a massive heart attack that destroyed 25% of my heart.

I got taken to the hospital; they tried to give me all the medication to thin the blood, but it didn't work straight away.

I was conscience all the time and saw them take my wife, son, and daughter away from the area, which I thought was strange as they were with me all that time.

My wife was being led away with the kids, who were 13 and 10, when she noticed on the monitor that I just started to flat line.

As I said, I was awake all that time and didn't remember much anymore.

Next thing I open my eyes and thought to myself ( I don't' remember going to sleep) and looked around and realized I was in an ambulance again which I thought I must have had a flashback when I first got in the ambulance.

Then I saw the Professor who was treating me at the hospital sitting in front of me in the ambulance.

I said, what happened? The Professor said, welcome back, glad to see you back with us, plus it is good to see you have some color in your face again.

I paused, then said, what do you mean by color in my face.

She told me that she thought I would die, and I am in the ambulance to take me to another hospital to do an emergency stent to one for the arteries as they had all the necessary equipment.

I found out later one of the arteries was 100% blocked, so no wonder the medication didn't kick in as planned; hence the blackout or whatever happened then.

I still don't know how long I flatlined, but obviously, it was important enough to take me to the other hospital for the procedure.

Now I have two stents, one on the day then another three months later as 75% blocked.

So as you can see, the date of 28th Dec is not the best day for me it always takes me down with Dad's passing 15 years ago and 12 years since I had my attack.

Guess someone upstairs decided the paperwork was not due yet, so here I am still.

Recent bummer

Two weeks ago, I saw my Cardiologist; after many various tests over the weeks, I found I have now 50% damage to my heart, of which 40% is dead, and the other 10% is on the fence.

That explains why I get tired quickly, even with the smallest effort working in or around the house.

I can't walk too long either due to the other AmongAmonghealth issues being faced now with deterioration to my lower spine and upper neck area, with some slight nerve damage that may result in possible spinal surgery.

But that part I will get checked out later once the heart issues are sorted out unless it gets worse as I do have a lot of back and shoulder pain.

So you can see how these things play with your head.

Not just the 28th date but the other issues being faced now.

So I got an appointment on Feb 17th, which is the earliest I could get to have an Angiogram done, and they will decide (which is most likely) to do an angioplasty straight away.

I know I will bounce back up; I always do; it is just the dates that still play on my mind being the same date as Dad's passing and my heart attack.

The other thing I was 50 at the time and My Mum was 50, which she passed away in 1987. As I said, all this plays mind games until I can snap out of it later, just not today.

Today I am taking a break. I know I have some responses and replies to make and saw live chat a bit, not in the mood to help, so apologies for not responding today, but I will get to you later.

I opened some posts I need to work on, but as I said, the mind doesn't want to co-operate today guess I need a break anyway, so all good with that.

Over the next couple of days, once I get myself back into it again, I can work more efficiently with this out of my head.

I noticed it always takes a day or two to clear the head, plus I need to get back with my meditation again as I know I have neglected it for the last week or so.

That is why it is precious to enjoy family time, but with what is happening and what happened during this time, as explained above, I prefer to get Christmas done and get stuck into it again.

So I will catch you all later.

Andre