Exploring the meaning of "authentic" self
Authentic self refers to your genuine person; who you really are at the very core of your being.
Over your lifetime you have assumed numerous roles; son/daughter, sibling, friend, parent, senior citizen, caregiver or caretaker. These are a sampling of some of the myriad labels used to describe one's outwardly visible existence. Society has certain expectations to accompany each label you acquire. There are also stereotypes and generalizations attached to various roles. If you cite your occupation as teacher, doctor, waitress or politician, you are automatically designated attributes which may, or may not, be accurate.
All the various "hats" you wear are indicative of what you do, but not adequate descriptions of who you really are on the inside. Your jobs, relationships and titles do not define you, unless you let them. Who you really are, your "authentic" self, is a composite of your skills, talents, acquired wisdom, core values and beliefs. It takes scrupulous introspection and practice of self-awareness to discover your authentic self. Too often you might coast along in life willing to put your "self" on the back burner in order to be what you perceive others want you to be.
Some of the reasons for denying your authentic self:
People pleasing
You cannot be true to your "self" while you live in fear of displeasing others. Emotional integrity demands that you be honest with yourself and with others, even when doing so might "make waves." When you continually say what you perceive others want to hear, just to keep peace, you are burying your authentic self.
Living to fulfill another's expectations
Your dreams and goals must truly be your own if you are to be your authentic self. Parents work and sacrifice to give their child the best educational opportunities, but that gift often comes with the price tag of expectations. Communication is the remedy for insuring all parties concerned are on the same page with what is expected of an individual. It is up to the individual to lead the way in honoring his authentic self.
Living by another's schedule
Parents may want their child to marry by a certain age, or to provide grandchildren, or prevail upon their child to adopt their attitude toward saving and investing. Teachers or mentors may encourage their student to follow in their footsteps, or steer them into the ideal career choice. Every individual has the opportunity to design his own life. Living by the schedules of another's dreams and goals might be in direct conflict with living an authentic life. Sometimes a displaced inner voice is the erring schedule. If thoughts are riddled with "shoulds" as in, "I want to do this, but I should do that," then action is often motivated by guilt and authentic self is undermined.
Myths about self
Everyone has a life chain; their connection to the past, who they are and where they came from. Often "self" is ruled by generations of habit. Perhaps all the generations of men in the family made a career of the military, all the women were homemakers, farming was the "family business" or one comes from a long line of Republicans. There is a strong emotional pull and misguided belief that you must live up to the family chain and emulate those who came before, even when deep inside you have other desires for a fulfilled life. You cannot be your authentic self while you are attempting to repeat history because of preconceived notions of the way life should be.
You may initiate your life in one direction, with a script of attitudes and beliefs. With maturity and experience, you might sometimes find it necessary to change directions. You may flounder, search and redesign until you are comfortable with your choices deep in the core of your being. It is never too late to become acquainted with your authentic self.
If you practice introspection and self-awareness, good communication, honest with yourself and others, you are apt to be able to follow your own dreams and goals and live up to your potential as your fulfilled authentic self.
Hope this gets you inspired and empowered, be your authentic self, that is the only way you can benefit the world, and help shape it, as you leave it better than you found it!
Thank you,
Violet Ikahu
Recent Comments
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Nice Violet. Thanks. It made me think. I have a question though. You say authentic self comprises, among other things, beliefs. Yet you add 4 reasons for denying authentic self and each of these is a belief. I hope you can clarify your meaning.
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Awesome Violet! I forwarded this to my daughter as she has been the epitome of this since her early days!
Thank you Robin, wish her well and it is an encouragement seeing our young minds become our pillars of strength, I too have a daughter, my last born who believes in me, and is my cheerleader and supporter in all I get engaged along the way!
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Well written! As a Hypnotherapist, I define authentic self as the person who you actually are - not negative things you decided to be as a child in order to survive. You did a great synopsis of those things. If we listen to our expressions of creativity that came naturally as a child, we are operating from our authentic self and we can find what we are naturally good at, but unfortunately as children we also hear or think negative ideas about ourselves and we then get stuck being those ideas. What is awesome is to stop stuck conditions by adjusting the subconscious mind which is empowerment by actually being self. Being self produces a fun life - nothing more need be added.
Thank you LeAnnM, for your additional information on this important subject. All the best!