Being assertive takes a lot of time and effort and does not come easily to people, especially those who are suffering from imposter syndrome. You may need to work on this over time, as well, to make sure that you are being heard and not ignored in the process. Some of the things that you can do when it is time to be assertive and honest about any of your needs and feelings include:

• ● Know the outcome that you would like to achieve before you even get started on the conversation.
  
• ● Pick a moment to be assertive when you know you are in control of your emotions. If the emotions get in the way, it will just make things that much harder to handle when you start.
  
• ● Practice what you want to say to the other person. This may seem strange, but it will make a difference and can give you a little bit of confidence.
  
• ● Try to sit or stand in a way that is comfortable. You need to look at the person directly whom you plan to speak with. You do not want to twist your neck around while you try to talk.
  
• ● You need to work with “I” statements to help make your case without placing blame on the other person. Rather than saying something like, “You never discussed the project with me.” It may be better to say “I feel like I did not get the right directions at the start of the process.” This can help show that the feelings are coming from you and that you are being serious during it.
  
• ● When talking, it is best to be honest and direct with all of your goals, intentions, and feelings as soon as possible.
  
• ● It is fine to say no to any demand that may seem unreasonable to you. This one is hard for someone with imposter syndrome or someone who does not feel like they have enough confidence. When the request in unreasonable though, it is normal to say no to doing it and offer up an explanation to the other party when appropriate. You do not need to offer a bunch of excuses or apologize for saying no though.

A good approach that you are able to use is to focus on stating the impact of the other person’s behavior and why that bothers you so much. If you are always aware of what the impact of this situation is on other people and on yourself, then it is more likely that people will start to see you and what you are trying to communicate in a different light.

For example, you could sit down with your boss or another coworker and then give them an example of the behavior that you find problematic and then describe how it is impacting you. Then ask them for some suggestions on how the situation can be improved and made better. This helps to take some of the blame off and can avoid defensiveness while making it seem like you are partners in making the situation better.

Keep in mind that assertiveness is not going to guarantee that you get the exact thing that you want each time. But it is a great way to gain more control while feeling less stressed out over situations that made you feel inadequate and like an imposter in the past.