There are many negative thoughts that you may think when it comes to walking away without standing up for yourself in the workplace. You may decide to be quiet in order to prevent problems or because you do not want to seem like a problem at work. But there are a lot of situations when you need to speak out to your boss and other coworkers and failure to do so will cause lot of problems.

When you do not speak out and ask questions to learn, it can lead to a lot of issues. You may not understand how to get things done on a project. You may be overlooked for some things that you deserve. And you will feel ignored and overlooked when it comes to your work and how you contribute.

Coulda, woulda and shoulda are some of the worst words that you can think about when you walk away from a situation at work where you should have spoken up for yourself. Whether this happens in your personal life or at work, it is important to be assertive, stand up for yourself, and speak out. But how do you become more assertive and make sure that others hear what you have to say.

What is Assertiveness?

We need to take a look at assertiveness and understand that it is different than being aggressive. When you are aggressive, you are mean and loud and will say whatever you want, regardless of how it comes off or who gets hurt in the process. With assertiveness, you are letting your feelings known and speaking up, while still being considerate to others and how they feel as well. It is about not letting others walk all over you, while avoiding being mean and harsh in the process.

Assertiveness is an important skill that you need to learn how to use when you want to build up a relationship, negotiate tasks and responsibilities, or when you need to work with a team of people in a variety of settings. Once you learn how to use assertiveness well, it can help you to:

  • ● Become a better communicator
  • ● Gives you confidence
  • ● Helps you make decisions
  • ● Will increase the respect others have for you
  • ● Helps you stay true to your own goals and beliefs.

If you walk away from a lot of interactions and can think of things that you should have said to the other person or you noticed that you did not feel you were being heard during the conversation, then it is time to be more assertive in your interactions, especially when you are at work. This is the only way that others will hear you and you will begin to feel like you belong.



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David1960 Premium
Thank you Catherine for this post. It speaks to me loudly. I have read about this syndrome not too long ago on a Facebook page somewhere. But it didn't really hit me until I read your blog. I'm going to do a little more introspection on how and why I behave the way I do sometimes. This article is a real eye opener.
Thanks again!!
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TheCatherine Premium Plus
Yes that sounds like a good idea.
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ActionJacks Premium Plus
Thank you so much for this inciteful and relevant training. The more successful I become, the more resentment and insults I have to put up with from my siblings. Hatred and resentment from loved ones can cause otherwise successful people to feel this way. Once again thanks for the wonderful information, You could publish it as an eBook!
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TheCatherine Premium Plus
Thank you. I wanted people to be able to be aware of it
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LettyBess Premium
Great message; thanks for sharing.
It helps me to think critically. I want to do videos and have a YouTube channel.

I'm being stuck in doing it. What comes to my mind every time I started is -- this video should be perfect in the eyes of my former office staff and friends.

This is where I got stuck as I always strive for perfection in all that I do. Is this impostor syndrome? Looking forward to your thoughts on this. Thank you, in advance, Catherine.

All the best,
Letty
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TheCatherine Premium Plus
Letty, just start it. Perfection often looks too slick on YouTube, it often looks staged. People relate to real people
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JKulk1 Premium
I only just came across this article Catherine, and I'm grateful I did. I was quite successful in my working life but I always felt inadequate. I have always felt like I was the imposter. Your blog opened up a lot of long hidden issues from deep inside of me. I never thought that my childhood might have been the cause of these issues. I had a fantastic home life, having had loving parents, heaps of fantastic siblings and room to roam on our bush property. Then, after reading your article, it hit me. I was bullied for the whole seven years of my primary school life. One child decided he hated me and he made my life a constant misery.
But that's a long story that I'll leave for now. Suffice to say that I lost confidence because of it.
I was always a high performer at school, but I believed I wasn't. I never thought that anyone else had noticed my dilemma, that was until about a year ago. It was at this time that I was reacquainted with several people from my primary school days. One who told me how she had always felt sorry for me and how I was treated by this bully boy and a certain teacher, strange thing was I didn't even remember the teacher. Another told me how they had avoided me because I was to intelligent, he was sorry for his actions.
I'm telling you this because, thanks to your article, I finally understand why I feel the way I do and what I can do about it.
I can't believe myself just what a profound affect your blog has had on me. I'm a big man, no longer young. I have achieved much, suffered much and have surrounded myself with a beautiful family. I have a great life, yet here I am opening myself up to you, with tears pouring out of my old eyes. Thank you Catherine. Jim
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TheCatherine Premium Plus
Jim my heart goes out to you. I too recently found out that my childhood wasn't what I thought it was.
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FKelso Premium Plus
I must be fortunate...I don't think I have this one. I have enough other shortcomings...don't need more.
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