Taking a Good Look at My Life
I read a post today when I got home from work. Theres nothing special about today it's a couple of days before Christmas and the day before my sons 19th birthday, Christmas eve baby truly blessed. Well anyway the post I read was by rocr7 who by the way is probably one of the strongest people I have ever become acquainted with. His tragic story and how he has persevered and how his determination has gotten him back to living his life.
Well got me thinking about my life and where I've been where I am and where I'm going. A little while ago I saw an old friend of mine that I hadn't seen in a long time. Like many other good friends we just grew apart went on to make new friends and life went on. Well we were talking and he asked what ever happened to our friendship and something popped in to my head that I had heard somewhere before. LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHILE YOUR BUSY MAKING PLANS. Now I'm 55 years old and looking back at my life I'm wondering if I made the right choices in life.
Back in October I turned 55 and that day was probably no definitely the strangest in my life.It was the strangest thing, I was driving to work that morning and my niece (who my parents basically raised and who is extremely close) was the first to call and wish me a happy birthday. I don't know what it was but from that moment on all day I literally felt like crying. I wasn't sure what the heck was happening but with each call the feeling got worse.
I've always been a sensitive type of guy. We were raised to always shake hands with your uncles and always give your aunts a hug and kiss and family is everything. But this was something I never experienced. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. I know now that I was rambling on to my son because my wife called and asked if everything was ok. I told her I didn't know what was happening. While she was calming me down it occurred to me that I was feeling like I hadn't accomplished anything. I told her "I'm 55 and have nothing to show for it".
Laura went on to tell me how much I really had. She explained to me how the kids I coach at a school where I have no children look up to me and love playing for me. How the neighbors bring me Christmas gifts because I shovel their sidewalks when it snows. I must say I do try to take care of my elderly neighbors. I still help out at my sons old high school and I still coach baseball and football at his old grade school. It may sound like I'm tooting my own horn but I'm NOT.
Here's the thing. I was sitting here feeling down because I had nothing to show for my efforts. Kind of had a feeling of worthlessness. But what she made me realize is it's not about what MATERIALISTIC things you have. What I do have is wonderful neighbors who truly appreciate what I do for them. I have groups of boys and girls who appreciate and will remember all that I was fortunate enough to teach them. And most and best of all I have family and a beautiful wife and a wonderful son. As fate would have it did I make the right decisions. I wouldn't change a thing.