Thrive and Grow from Criticism. Let Me Show You How.

YOUR BEST

You did the best you could.

For months, you have done nothing but work, day and night.

As the deadline approaches, you shut yourself in your room and refuse to leave until you are done.

After hours of research, reading, writing, re-writing, worrying and more worrying you feel you are ready. You can't wait to show off your masterpiece.

THE EXCITEMENT

Finally, the big day arrives.

The moment you have been waiting for is here. This is an opportunity for you to showcase your best. All eyes around the boardroom table are on you as you open your laptop. You take a deep breath and launch into what you perceive to be your best presentation ever.

Twenty minutes later you close your laptop and invite questions.

THE DISAPPOINTMENT

Silence.

After what seems like eternity, someone clears his throat and gives feedback. For ten minutes he picks holes in every aspect of the presentation. Your presentation. That took you months to prepare. Destroyed in less than fifteen minutes.

More silence.

You walk away numb from shock, feeling humiliated and devastated.

THE RE-ACTION

This is not what you expected. After all that hard work, you expected applause or some kind of encouragement.

How terrible!

Late that night you're still fuming at the thought. And destructive thoughts will not leave you alone.

'Maybe I am not good enough.'

'That guy is not very smart. No wonder he didn't get it.'

'He is obviously envious of me and my position.'

'And what did he mean when he said "It sounds amateurish"? How dare he? Who does he think he is?'

You may continue to look at it that way and lose sleep over it. The problem, however, is that the more you think about it, the angrier you're likely to get. And, it doesn't solve anything. Instead, anger may prevent you from putting things in perspective.

Rather than lose sleep over criticism, let it go.

This is not about you but about your work. So, take control and do the following:

* See Criticism for what it is

* Take your Time

* Reflect

* Respond

* Grow

SEE CRITICISM FOR WHAT IT IS

Feedback. That's what it is. It might even be negative, but its still feedback. It's nothing personal. So put it in its rightful place, embrace it and use it to your advantage.

Sure, Not all criticism is valid. Sometimes criticism may even be intended to deliberately hurt or belittle you. But you will never know this until you take your time to analyze and reflect.

TAKE YOUR TIME

Criticism may sting. So, take your time before you respond. This might save you the embarrassment of saying something you might regret later. Listen carefully to the feedback. Ask questions for clarification and take notes. Then thank the person who is giving feedback.

ANALYZE THE CRTICISM

Look at the criticism from all angles. Does the feedback seem unreasonable? Or could there be some truth in it? If you have heard something similar before from other people, the likelihood is that this is genuine feedback which is made with the intention to help you.

If the critic lacks tact, criticism might come across as a personal attack. It might even be unfair, meant to hurt or humiliate you. Remain calm. And don't go on the defensive. Avoid a knee-jack reaction as it might lead to arguments.

REFLECT

Self reflection or introspection is the most powerful tool for growth. This is where you see yourself as others see you. Do they see you as arrogant? Or do they see you as someone with low self-esteem? Be honest with yourself or this might be a futile exercise.

Instead of being offended, see this as an opportunity to better yourself.

Ask someone else how you come across, Preferably this must be someone who is close to you, has your best interest at heart and is not afraid to tell you the truth no matter how painful it may be.

Years ago, it was a colleague and friend who made me aware that I was judgmental and over critical. She had struggled to find me a gift for my birthday.

When I expressed delight as she gave me the gift sounded pleasantly surprised. I dug deeper and she told me how difficult she thought I was as I had a habit of finding fault with everything and everyone, in fact, behind my back colleagues referred to me as "Mrs Find a Mistake"' She told me she had worried herself sick thinking that I might find something wrong with the gift,

That stung. But I took but I took her feedback in my stride, worked at what I considered a weakness and succeeded.

RESPOND

The manner in which you respond to criticism is important

Respond without being rude or dismissive.

Depending on how you look at it, criticism can be a help or a hindrance.

It is not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens that will determine your future. Similarly, it is not the criticism that will make or break you. Rather, it is your attitude in how you choose to view it.

GROW

Criticism is just what we need if we want to grow. And we all want to grow, don't we?

Without feedback, it is difficult to improve whether this be in your personal life or in business. Where there is no feedback, there's bound to be complacency. So, rather than avoid it, embrace criticism and see it as an opportunity to grow.

Better still, ask for it. Asking for feedback from others shows humility. It also makes others want to assist. Solicited feedback, therefore, is likely to be honest feedback made with the intention to hep us improve and grow.

WHAT HAS THIS TO DO WITH WA?

Criticism is crucial in the business world. In fact no business can survive without it. How will you know as a business person whether you're on the right track if you get no feedback? Or if you do get feedback, you are offended and choose to ignore it you are doing so at your own risk.

A business exists to serve or service its customers or clients. It makes sense, therefore, to welcome feedback no matter how unpalatable it may sound.

The most beautiful part about criticism in business is that it is feedback at its best because it is offered freely and you have nothing to lose by giving it your attention.

So, rather than pay an expert to tell you how you're doing and whether you're on the right track, ask your customer.

The feedback you receive may or may not be what you want to hear. What matters is that it will be honest. When you listen to it, and analyze it properly, you have an opportunity to improve, grow and even thrive.

CONCLUSION

We all want to be better today than we were yesterday. One thing that helps us keep track of our progress is feedback. This applies whether we are at home, in school, at work or in business.

You can hide from criticism if you so wish but remember there are consequences for everything we do.

Stop trying to avoid criticism and start embracing it. It can be a stimulus to

growth. So, take advantage of it.

I want to leave you with this quote:

"TO AVOID CRITICISM, SAY NOTHING, DO NOTHING, AND BE NOTHING"

. - Elbert Hubbard

That's a HEAVY price to pay.

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Thank you.

Thokozile.