The Real

I separated from my husband and moved out mid-May. A couple of weeks after, I filed for divorce. Without getting into any nasty details and getting myself upset about it all over again, let me just say that I'm working through everything and life gets a little more manageable every day.

I lost focus. Or so I thought. My focus changed in all actuality. It went from a focus for a successful entrepreneurial future to a focus on my very survival and sanity.

I have truly discovered who my seasonal friends are, as well as my lifetime friends. And, to God, I am truly grateful.

This man, my angel of a friend, he takes my breath away. I feel so close to him that I feel like I could just climb inside of him, continuing to grow into who I know I am and will be and ever increasingly feeling safe, content, and just genuinely happy the rest of my days.

I imagine I cannot get him out of my head and/or heart. He lives inside my thoughts, my prayers, my daydreams, and I most whole-heartedly believe, my very soul. He is my safe space, my haven. He is home to me. The more my very being returns to wholeness, a future without him in it is unfathomable.

I have rediscovered myself. I make and cherish time for me. I am able to give my children the best part of myself because I have learned and implemented cherishing and loving myself.

The raging fire of my creativity has been reignited. I have started to play again, both metaphorically and literally. I have also started writing again, which has been the ultimate healing tool for me these past couple of months, as I work through the hills and valleys, getting back to my best and most fulfilling self.

The more I struggle, the more he is with me. If only the thought of him. I am always aware of his presence. Always mindful of what he has shared with and taught me. I’ve been given this incomparable gift and this time….this time, I will cherish it and celebrate it to the fullest.