Struggling with Motivation
So, this is the first time I have been on WA for over a week. And I only came on as I received a notice to approve a comment - thank you Helen by the way,
I have found my site health decreasing and my ranking not so good. I haven't even been reading other people's blogs, which I was doing daily.
My motivation is lacking in every aspect of my life. Now I am not looking for sympathy, just looking for reason - although I know the reason but I just can't get around my constant thoughts.
I even sit here in a daze, writing this - not even sure why I am - sorry.
My mother had an aggressive form of leukemia for over a year. My sister and I had to put her into hospital three weeks ago as she was so sick and couldn't be left alone.
Some days she thrived in hospital with the constant care and pain medication, others - not so much. On the Friday before last she had a fall coming out the bathroom and broke her tail bone. This of course caused much more pain and bed confinement.
We sat with her, watching her struggle with the pain for five full days. And then watched her take her last breath. Now I know I am not the first and won't be the last person to experience this type of horrible event. We knew it was coming, but I just can't seem to come to terms with it all. She is gone. I am numb. I have cried. But now I am numb.
I want so much to get motivated. Get moving. Clean my house. Go to work. Work on my website. Read People's blogs. I know I will get on top of it all soon. I have kids, I have too. I just want this sick feeling deep in my chest to go away.
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I am so sorry for your loss. My father passed away about 9 months ago from liver cancer and not a day goes by that I don't miss him or wish he was here.
Our family always has a big family celebration during the Christmas season, but this past Christmas was just not the same.
Dad loved the season as much as the rest of us, and always made it special.
I just felt numb the entire season and didn't even want to celebrate it. For me, that's saying a lot.
I will pray for healing for you, but also that you would take the time you need to grieve.
Your website can wait. Motivation will return, and maybe you will find your motivational factor will be the memory of your mom.
Chris
Thank you Chris, celebrations will be the hardest, as my Mum was at every one. We had one of my son's birthday only yesterday and it was sad that she wasn't there.
I am so sorry to hear about your pain and your loss....
My mom passed away a few years ago and I don't think it is something you ever get over. A mom is a mom and no one else will fill that void in your heart. You just become a little better at dealing with it over time.
All I can tell you is that you will come out of this - I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but you will. Stay close to the people who love you, and let them help and comfort you. Spend time with your sister and share with her how you're feeling (and vice versa). You need each other right now.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, remember to take one day at a time. Allow yourself to grieve, but try to take small steps every day to get back to your regular routine as much as possible - that's really important.
I don't know if this helps at all, but I just wanted to reach out and let you know that things will get better with time. What helped me is knowing that my mom is finally at peace and no longer suffering.
Take care and best wishes always,
Anna
Thank you for your condolences and sorry for the loss of your mum also. It does help to know she is at peace now after watching her suffer. It was harder watching her not wanting to give up at the end, as she was in so much pain. But now her suffering is over.
Hi, I feel clarify your mind is more important. If the mind is in abundant with problems, nothing works. Plan and schedule your routine work. I never look at my site rank in the early stage of my Website. It is going to depress you. Regards Sadie.
Your biggest motivation is right by your side...your kids and you! The sick and numbness feeling will go away eventually, but only if you let go of that feeling. It doesn't matter how slow you keep moving forward...you just have to keep going onwards 1 step at a time.
Time will heal. Please don't worry about your ranking. What's important is to never give up. I feel you are going to be okay. What's great about this business is you can push the restart button anytime.
God Bless
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I went through the same thing with my grandfather (who was really the only Dad I knew). I sunk into a funk.
Even though I am as old as I am now, I still want him to be proud of me. I know he would have said to me, "Dammit Gregory, get off of your butt and live your life!" This was just last January that I lost him. I can still hear him say that as if he was right behind me.
He is always with me, as your mom will always be with you. Hold her close and make her proud.
Greg
It doesn't go away, but with time it will ease a bit. My Dad passed in 2013. I find myself often reminded of him at the oddest moments.
Best way to get over it is to get busy. They say if you are feeling down, force yourself to smile. It will actually make you feel better.
Don't dwell on the loss, dwell on the happy moments you had together.
Go through some photo albums. When Dad passed, I inherited the boxes and boxes of pictures that they had. These all needed to be scanned. Then shared with the siblings. We all had some interesting reminiscences.
Thank you again, we had to do the same for the funeral, it was good and sad, especially seeing recent photos of her grandchildren.
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You've got to allow yourself to mourn. Its not something that can be quickened nor bargained away it must simply be felt. If nothing else log in and find support here. We don't want you to become overwhelmed or feeling alone. You'll regain your daily activities one step at a time.
Thank you