Struggling with Motivation
So, this is the first time I have been on WA for over a week. And I only came on as I received a notice to approve a comment - thank you Helen by the way,
I have found my site health decreasing and my ranking not so good. I haven't even been reading other people's blogs, which I was doing daily.
My motivation is lacking in every aspect of my life. Now I am not looking for sympathy, just looking for reason - although I know the reason but I just can't get around my constant thoughts.
I even sit here in a daze, writing this - not even sure why I am - sorry.
My mother had an aggressive form of leukemia for over a year. My sister and I had to put her into hospital three weeks ago as she was so sick and couldn't be left alone.
Some days she thrived in hospital with the constant care and pain medication, others - not so much. On the Friday before last she had a fall coming out the bathroom and broke her tail bone. This of course caused much more pain and bed confinement.
We sat with her, watching her struggle with the pain for five full days. And then watched her take her last breath. Now I know I am not the first and won't be the last person to experience this type of horrible event. We knew it was coming, but I just can't seem to come to terms with it all. She is gone. I am numb. I have cried. But now I am numb.
I want so much to get motivated. Get moving. Clean my house. Go to work. Work on my website. Read People's blogs. I know I will get on top of it all soon. I have kids, I have too. I just want this sick feeling deep in my chest to go away.