Struggling with Motivation

Last Update: June 14, 2016

So, this is the first time I have been on WA for over a week. And I only came on as I received a notice to approve a comment - thank you Helen by the way,

I have found my site health decreasing and my ranking not so good. I haven't even been reading other people's blogs, which I was doing daily.

My motivation is lacking in every aspect of my life. Now I am not looking for sympathy, just looking for reason - although I know the reason but I just can't get around my constant thoughts.

I even sit here in a daze, writing this - not even sure why I am - sorry.

My mother had an aggressive form of leukemia for over a year. My sister and I had to put her into hospital three weeks ago as she was so sick and couldn't be left alone.

Some days she thrived in hospital with the constant care and pain medication, others - not so much. On the Friday before last she had a fall coming out the bathroom and broke her tail bone. This of course caused much more pain and bed confinement.

We sat with her, watching her struggle with the pain for five full days. And then watched her take her last breath. Now I know I am not the first and won't be the last person to experience this type of horrible event. We knew it was coming, but I just can't seem to come to terms with it all. She is gone. I am numb. I have cried. But now I am numb.

I want so much to get motivated. Get moving. Clean my house. Go to work. Work on my website. Read People's blogs. I know I will get on top of it all soon. I have kids, I have too. I just want this sick feeling deep in my chest to go away.


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Jox Premium
Your biggest motivation is right by your side...your kids and you! The sick and numbness feeling will go away eventually, but only if you let go of that feeling. It doesn't matter how slow you keep moving forward...you just have to keep going onwards 1 step at a time.
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CMascari Premium
It is okay to be feeling everything that you are. Allowing yourself to go through the process will help you get to the other side. Prayers to you and your family.
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storm57 Premium
thank you
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BruceAdams Premium
Time will heal. Please don't worry about your ranking. What's important is to never give up. I feel you are going to be okay. What's great about this business is you can push the restart button anytime.
God Bless
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storm57 Premium
Thank you
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Seahawk8058 Premium
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I went through the same thing with my grandfather (who was really the only Dad I knew). I sunk into a funk.
Even though I am as old as I am now, I still want him to be proud of me. I know he would have said to me, "Dammit Gregory, get off of your butt and live your life!" This was just last January that I lost him. I can still hear him say that as if he was right behind me.

He is always with me, as your mom will always be with you. Hold her close and make her proud.

Greg
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storm57 Premium
Thank you Greg, I am sorry for the loss of your grandfather as well.
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Labman Premium
It doesn't go away, but with time it will ease a bit. My Dad passed in 2013. I find myself often reminded of him at the oddest moments.

Best way to get over it is to get busy. They say if you are feeling down, force yourself to smile. It will actually make you feel better.

Don't dwell on the loss, dwell on the happy moments you had together.
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storm57 Premium
Thank you, I am trying, but I keep seeing her the way she was at the end.
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Labman Premium
Go through some photo albums. When Dad passed, I inherited the boxes and boxes of pictures that they had. These all needed to be scanned. Then shared with the siblings. We all had some interesting reminiscences.
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storm57 Premium
Thank you again, we had to do the same for the funeral, it was good and sad, especially seeing recent photos of her grandchildren.
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