College and Emotional Stress

I’m writing this to let you all know I didn’t fall off the face of the earth; I just have recently went back to college for my junior year and I’m crazy busy. I’ve bitten more than I can chew and I have no time to focus on my own success outside of getting my degree. There’s too many classes in my schedule this semester and it’s demanding.

The emotional load that has come with being back in college is hard to deal with because of a few reasons and I’ll get into them below.

The College Life

I’m taking 5 classes but 3 of them are 3 hour studios. Every day consists of one or two studio classes and you can easily see how I can get swamped. My studio classes all revolve around degree in Landscape Architecture so I can’t just half a** it or else it reflects not only my grade but my portfolio too.

Right now I’ve been overwhelmed with anxiety and depression and moving forward is hard and trying to further not only on my college work but also here is demanding. I’m constantly drawing or on the computer, and if I’m not doing one of those I’m most likely eating and sleeping. There is just so much to tackle this year and it’s scary.

A lot of us have experienced the college life and what it’s like. It’s not always fun and games. There’s a lot of mental preparation and self control that you must overcome and I’m hitting a wall. Not only is that wall about school though, because right now I’m struggling with issues about what’s going to happen in the future as well. So as you can see, I’m kinda in a weird place.

Future Me...

I often find myself wondering what I’m gonna do with my life to live the life I want. I know what I’m going for won’t do that. Yes it will provide me with an income higher than the majority of Americans but nothing spectacular. It’s not like I’m going to become a doctor and make 200,000 a year and can afford some of the things I want to do. (Which I’ll get to later and it’s not all what you think.)

I know deep down what my outlook on life is and what I want to do and where I want to be, but I’m struggling to find out how to get there. I think I lose track of the journey and just think of the outcome sometimes and it all becomes foggy. I have a start but after that its grey. I can’t be the only one thinking that way.

Big influencers that I not only look up to but try to understand their style of living always say things similar to “Follow your heart and success will soon come in time.” I reflect a lot on how I’m going to follow my heart but it gets lost with how am I gonna do it because it’s hard.

I have a business I have in mind that I want to start up that follows what I love and what my blog reflects but to open it up, haha, I don’t even know how I would accomplish such a task. It’s so costly it’s like how do I even try as a college student. This business isn’t an online business but it’s one that a LOT of the younger generation is becoming interested in and is booming.

(I don’t want to say too much more about it because it’s very personal to me and my own journey.)

I just struggle with confidence because my mom tells me these things about myself that I know all about and have faced the fact that if I don’t change either my way of living or find out how to increase my income I’m not gonna be who I really want to be.

(This is not me being selfish about money for myself but what I can do with it to help others.) Charities, my family, and friends are all I want to give to. What makes me happy is seeing others happy. Of course I want to live not having to worry about having a paycheck to paycheck lifestyle but I want more than that. I want to give to some of the things that have meant the most to me.

What do I do?

I will ask myself a lot about how to do things but I can never find answers sometimes. I fear the unknown and the terrible things it can bring and would like to start prepping to help me with that fear. I’m going to keep working on my site here but I want to find other ways as well because I have so many interests and hobbies that I don’t want my only source of income to be from online and my career.
Maybe I’m underestimating the power of the online marketplace and what this website really has to offer. I’ve just done the math and to make what I want would require so many sales and a commission amount that seems unreachable.

The average affiliate link is 6% of the total sale. So let’s take that same $200,000 as I mentioned earlier just an example I’ll show you want I mean. Let’s say I want to earn 200k a year, that would require me to sell 3 million, 300+ thousand dollars a year to average my paycheck to be 200k a year. It just seems nearly impossible...

I’ve seen results from this site though showing people making 10k a month, but to get that 10k a month their monthly sale should have been 166 thousand dollars.

So my take away from this whole blog post is I’m way stressed because school has me thinking one way while my life goals has me thinking another and I don’t know how to mesh the two to make it seemless.