Let's talk forgiveness
Hey neighbor, have a seat. Let's talk forgiveness.
Hurt is real
I doubt very much that there is any human being that has not experienced the pain and hurt of this life. In one way or another we all have been hurt, especially by loved ones and friends.
There are some unwanted experiences that we get over quickly. We shake hands, make up and move on. At times, we don't even recall the event.
How we respond
Then there are other experiences that we hold on to. It seems to us that they just won't go away even though we try to get rid of them. Every time we see the person, pass by the place, recall the happening it appears to be repeating itself afresh in our minds. For some, all the emotions of the occasion return in its reality and we feel the chemical changes in our bodies that came up when the thing first happened.
We feel justified in feeling how we feel and when we recount the experience to others, we dramatize it so much that they too get caught up in the atmosphere of our pain.
In our minds, this happened today, even though it was really 10 years ago.
If someone suggests that we forgive and forget we become angry. How can I forgive that? Never, and we continue carrying the pain, day by day laboring faithfully beneath its load. Nourishing it, molding and watering it and holding it up before our faces so that it will not be forgotten.
Let Go the load
I know that when we are hurt we hate to hear these words; forgive him. Let it go.
We think that to forgive is weak, that we are saying that what was done is/was okay. Fear fills our hearts that we are saying to the one who hurt us that they are free to repeat the evil act.
I have come to learn from experience that forgiveness is more a blessing to me than to the person that I have forgiven. When I forgive, I let go of that load that was weighing me down and holding me back.
I also free myself of the control that the person and event had on me. I no longer have to feel resentment each time I come across the person or recall what happened. My happiness does not disappear at the mention of their name. I can continue to enjoy whatever I am doing and not become toxic in the presence of my loved ones and friends because that person is around or the event is mentioned.
Someone said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the person we hate to drop dead. This is so true.
However, when we set ourselves free, we put an end to the slavish hold that the person unwittingly had over us and we grow.
Permit me here to quote a passage of scripture: Matthew 6:13 "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." For those of us who are Christians and have prayed this prayer, we know what we are saying to God.
Lord, just as how I forgive others, so forgive me! Isn't that awesome? Shouldn't that lead us to quickly forgive?
Your Reward
Forgiveness does not always lead to reconciliation. There are times when the one who hurt us even refuses to admit that they did. In such a case, there's nothing that we can do about that except to continue to be forgiving.
When there is admission of wrong doing then we should freely, willingly say, "I forgive you". There may be a need to talk over what happened and if so, then do it with an ear for the other person's side of the story. You may be surprised at what you learn. At no time should you allow the incident to descend into recriminations and finger pointing.
Forgive and experienced the weight roll off your shoulder. Rekindle an old friendship that can even become stronger and more true if you both are genuine about the process. Do not allow the old evil thought to resurface and occupy your mind.
You will also be rewarded with a better relationship with all your loved ones. I have also learned that I cannot hate one person and it not affect those around me. If there is poison in me, others will taste it.
See the reward of smiling faces all around you. Receive genuine hugs, not those that are held back because people are unsure of your mood.
Take it from me, there's a sweet perfume in forgiving and being forgiven.
Try it today.
Recent Comments
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Hello Russell,
I love your blog! My website is about increasing your vibrations and how to remove negative energy. When you forgive or have the willingness to forgive that's when the Universe opens up and starts shining on you. Your soul starts glowing and your heart opens up to love. removing-negative-energy.com
I use the word Universe, God created the universe. He is the Great Divine.
May the Universe shine on your business with blessings of prosperity.
Love & Light,
Rose
Hi Rose,
Thank you for your comments. I am curious though, why do you say universe instead of God? I have been coming across this term for some time now and always wonder what it really means? Can you help me?
Very important subject Russell.
Unfortunately people don't tend to be interested in what is more relevant to them expecially on social forums!
I curse satan for blindfolding God's's own created people this way...
Thanks for the post
Boaz Ethan
Of course yes Russel!
He's alife and He's a good God!
May this new dawn bring you solutions to every challenge within the full 24 hours in Jesus the Christ's name!
Shalom!
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What great insights into the unfortunate human tendency to hold onto anger and non-forgiveness. The Buddha quotes,"Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GETS BURNED."
You're so right RussellO. Forgiveness frees us, yet sometimes, it's so difficult for us. Thanks for the words of wisdom!
You're welcome.
It's not as difficult as we think Sue. We have been socializes to think so and to hold on to the pain but as soon as we accept that the hurt is more on us then we learn to free ourselves and enjoy life. After all, we are no better than the one who hurt us. We just do it in different ways.
So True!