Massive Discouraging Moment (Rant/Venting Moment)

byrdcorbo555

182 followers

10 years ago

Before I begin this post I just have to say that this is something I wouldn't want to tell people I know personally. I wish I could keep this to myself but sometimes I have to put it out to the world because sometimes the feedback can be that mental cure I need.

I've become more of a private person without having to put out my "dirty laundry" on Facebook like I used when I was younger, but I felt today I'd write a post that is not exactly encouraging or anywhere near a success story. I feel that maybe by writing this post here that someone can understand where I'm coming from rather than the typical everyday people that surround me on a daily basis. Maybe someone has a similar story to mine or worse and succeed with the best life ever today. Maybe just by writing this post I would have vented and I would at least feel some relief from this really sh**y feeling I have right now.

My 32nd birthday was June 1st that just passed and with that birthday money I decided to join WA. I was unemployed and just about to start receiving unemployment. Although I want to go to business for myself, I knew I still needed a job of some sort to sustain my monthly payments here. I didn't want to keep buying the other bogus internet marketing programs anymore, because I knew WA was the real deal. While being unemployed I took on many projects between looking for jobs, doing a affiliate marketing online internship, doing my website massversus.com, and trying to build new skills to make me more profitable somewhere.

I was rejected for a bunch of positions I felt qualified for in the internet marketing side because I've done it on and off for the past 5 years but because of the off time I never had that much to show for and especially since I only had very few experience in the corporate world in internet marketing. So I was rejected by MANY affiliate marketing management positions which I feel I could have done with my eyes closed because it's EASIER than affiliate marketing.

I decided that it is time I go for a high paying job that could earn me so much more money even just jumping into it as an entry level... sales! So I was told to apply for a position at this cruise lines that I had already applied for a few years back and see if I could potentially succeed in. I got the call to interview and I felt I did extremely well compared to the other people there at and not because I feel like I'm better than anybody else, but because during their interview they were tongued tied and also showed fear in their answers while I was being confident and talking about how business is one of my many passions.

So I waited the couple of days they told me to wait in order to know whether I would be hired or not and around the time my old company that laid me off called me to offer me a chance to come back after two months of being let go with a new position in the warehouse (I used to do customer service before) and considering that I needed money to fund what I want in my life in the business of internet marketing, I said that I would come back. The perks of this job is lots of overtime and I get to get in better shape and I also got a .50 cent increase compared to my previous position and I also get full 8 hours a day compared to my part time with them in the past. I am and was grateful, but lots of things dawned on me at the same time.

The first two days being back I came home so tried that I didn't even want to do anything no matter how hard I tried to will myself to do so. I already felt like this was going to effect me in my internship and with the assignments here. Also, my work environment seems friendly but I have two really good friends that work there in high positions that gave me some warnings about the people I work with.

It's a very cutthoart environment and honestly these the typical blue collar people that talk crap about each other behind their backs and cheating on their wives. These are people that I'm going to be associated with for more time in my life right now and I know the saying, "you can't fly with the eagles if you're scratching with the turkeys" my time to interview for other places seem realistic if I want to get out of here as well, but I feel like i am stuck but have to stay here in order to fund my education here.

I did feel okay on Friday when I came home from work though, but other things came to crush me. One thing that just really crushed my spirit as an aspiring online entrepreneur. I know someone very close to me that also interviewed for that sales position and that person got offered the position out of a different group interview. It shames me to say this because I love this person dearly and she's actually pretty much family, but I don't understand how she actually got the damn job.

Maybe it is part envy, I don't think so, but maybe it is and thats one ugly ass emotion. I feel super ashamed that I even feel that way, but the truth is I'm the type of person that reads about marketing, I learn about skills to come by in order to make myself profitable in the future. I don't go out on drink binging weekends like she does and watch phony reality tv shows that poisons people's mentalities. I spend my weekends here working on things that will potentially work in my favor financially.. and here she is.. with the position that I pretty much base my entire life with outside of forced 9-5 crap.

Now, I think she deserves a good break because she has had some personal problems and she's 33 now (which statically is the happy age) and I honestly love this person, but in the world of business, I just got the s**t end of the stick when I don't just put up a front about business... I AM about business when on the other end of the spectrum.. she's just in everyday typical people stuff. I just really don't think its fair. I pour my time to knowledge and putting it into practice and now I'm just stuck at this warehouse job feeling like I'm million miles away from what I want in life just because I'm uncertain whether my niche is profitable or concerned about my energy after I come home from a heavy labor job with almost no way out now.

I apologize again for such a negative and whiny blog post. I might even be too super embarrassed to publish this, but I feel like if I don't, that I'll just be missing out on some great advice or encouragement from the community. Maybe I'll just keep festering in this emotion without actually letting it go if I don't publish it. I hope that next year at age 33 I can actually live that happy age 33 lifestyle in grand spanking ways. Understand something, I don't want no big house, fancy cars, I don't even care if I'm still living where I am today. I just want that true financial freedom to explore the world with my family. I want my kids to be well traveled (when I have some), I want my wife to quit her job, I want to provide for my wife and I the healthy foods and lifestyles. I spend my life since 2008 listening to motivational speakers and The Secret from Rhonda Bryne and etc. to learn that these things are possible, but I am still here nowhere near my goal. So again, I apologize for a whiny post, but I'm also writing this because I feel perhaps a year from now.. I can publish this post along with a future success story as a compare and contrast to encourage people in the future.

Before I end this post though I will list some positive things and things I'm still grateful for:

- My wife, my best friend ever.

- I will always have an entrepreneurial spirit regardless of how many times it will break. This is a soul that will never permanently be destroyed.

- Although I have my complaints about this situation with this person that got the job. I'm also more happy for her than anything else. She may not be the entrepreneurial person and lucked out with this, but maybe this is the start and its a good start of that journey for her. So no hate, I love her very much.

- This job may be hard and nowhere near what I want, but it does earn me more than the position I had before and it will allow me to invest more into myself as well compared to unemployment checks.

- The fact that my company called me back after just being let go two months ago, shows me that the company truly cares and loves me (not many people can say this about their companies unless working for themselves).

- I'm still on the road to building success.

- I'm part of the best internet marketing community in the face of the galaxy (WA)

- I did not give up... that will NEVER f**king happen.