Get on the Court!

byrcharinhp99

3.6K followers

Updated 2 months ago

Confidence Building for Entrepreneurs, Business Owners, and Content Creators

Campaign of Misery and How to Defeat It:

The Campaign of Misery is a term used to describe the negative self-talk and doubts that can sabotage our confidence. To defeat it, focus on positive affirmations, set realistic goals, and surround yourself with supportive people. Remember, your thoughts influence your actions, so think positively!

Who is Mel Robbin

Mel Robbins is a motivational speaker, author, and TV host known for her straightforward and practical advice on improving productivity, confidence, and overall life satisfaction. She is famous for her "5 Second Rule," which is a tool to help people take action and make positive changes in their lives. She has experience the Campaign of Misery in her life and help her audience navigate through it.

Confidence Competency Loop

The Confidence Competency Loop is a concept that suggests confidence grows with competence. As you become more skilled at something, your confidence in that area increases. This loop continues as you take on new challenges and build more skills, leading to greater confidence.

Here is an elaboration on how Mel Robbins uses the confidence competence loop in her motivational speaking career:

Mel Robbins has built a career as a motivational speaker by focusing on the relationship between confidence and competence. As she describes, when we gain skills and become more competent at something, our confidence grows. And when our confidence grows, we become more willing to take action and develop even greater competence.

Robbins often refers to this as an upward spiral - confidence leads to competence, which leads to more confidence, which leads to more competence. Early in her speaking career, she had to push past her own self-doubts and nervousness to get started. But as she developed her skills as a speaker and received positive feedback, her confidence grew tremendously.

Now Robbins uses examples and stories from her own rise to prominence to inspire others. She urges audiences that the key is to "put your butt in the seat" - take that first step towards action even when you're afraid. As she says "action overcomes fear." By getting started, audiences can initiate the confidence/competence loop in their own lives.

Robbins promises that if they follow this framework of gaining skills through action, their confidence will grow in tandem. And with greater confidence, they'll have the motivation needed to change their circumstances and create a better life, just as she did. So in summary, Robbins directly leverages the confidence competence loop both from her own experience, and as a paradigm for motivating others towards positive change.

Case Study 1

Joan was always fascinated by baking and dreamed of opening her own bakery one day. But she had no formal training or experience running a business. She knew if she wanted to make her dream a reality, she needed to gain competence in baking and business.

Joan started small - baking goods out of her home kitchen to sell at local farmers markets. At first, her baked goods were mediocre. But she studied recipes and techniques relentlessly until she developed mastery.

She took detailed notes on what sold well and what didn't. Within a year, Joan had gained significant competence in baking. Her scones, croissants and cakes were constantly selling out.

Bolstered by her baking success, Joan turned her focus to gaining business competence. She took accounting and management night classes. She reached out to successful bakery owners and offered to volunteer in exchange for mentorship. Within another year, Joan felt confident in her ability to handle finances, manage employees, and run day-to-day operations.

Finally, Joan was ready to open her bakery. She used her savings to rent a storefront and outfit it with baking equipment. In the beginning, Joan put in long, tiring hours doing all the baking and management herself. But she stuck to a strict plan that prioritized consistency - of ingredients, baking techniques, customer service and store hours.

Over time, Joan's unwavering consistency paid off. Her bakery gained a reputation for exceptional goods and reliable service. After two years in business, Joan was thriving enough to hire extra staff. Though initially lacking competence,

Joan gained it through consistent effort and learning. She turned her baking passion into a fruitful, flourishing enterprise through determination to learn and commitment to consistency. Joan's journey proves with the right attitude and persistence, anyone can gain competence and find success.

Dr. Russell Kennedy's Belief on Anxiety:

Dr. Russell Kennedy believes that all anxiety results from childhood separation or trauma. He suggests that unresolved emotional pain from childhood can manifest as anxiety in adulthood. Healing this pain and understanding its roots can help reduce anxiety.

Importance of Intentional Work:

Confidence comes from working intentionally on something important to us. When we invest time and effort into something we care about, we not only improve our skills but also build confidence in our abilities.

Joan was always fascinated by baking and dreamed of opening her own bakery one day. But she had no formal training or experience running a business. She knew if she wanted to make her dream a reality, she needed to gain competence in baking and business.

Joan started small - baking goods out of her home kitchen to sell at local farmers markets. At first, her baked goods were mediocre. But she studied recipes and techniques relentlessly until she developed mastery.

She took detailed notes on what sold well and what didn't. Within a year, Joan had gained significant competence in baking. Her scones, croissants and cakes were constantly selling out.

Bolstered by her baking success, Joan turned her focus to gaining business competence. She took accounting and management night classes. She reached out to successful bakery owners and offered to volunteer in exchange for mentorship. Within another year, Joan felt confident in her ability to handle finances, manage employees, and run day-to-day operations.

Finally, Joan was ready to open her bakery. She used her savings to rent a storefront and outfit it with baking equipment. In the beginning, Joan put in long, tiring hours doing all the baking and management herself. But she stuck to a strict plan that prioritized consistency - of ingredients, baking techniques, customer service and store hours.

Over time, Joan's unwavering consistency paid off. Her bakery gained a reputation for exceptional goods and reliable service. After two years in business, Joan was thriving enough to hire extra staff. Though initially lacking competence,

Joan gained it through consistent effort and learning. She turned her baking passion into a fruitful, flourishing enterprise through determination to learn and commitment to consistency. Joan's journey proves with the right attitude and persistence, anyone can gain competence and find success.

Be On the Court, Not in the Stands

This metaphor suggests that many people watch life pass by from the sidelines (the stands) instead of actively participating in it (getting on the court). To build confidence and live a fulfilling life, it's important to take risks, try new things, and engage actively in life's opportunities:

This metaphor encourages us to be active participants rather than passive observers. Just like in a sports game, the players on the court are fully engaged, working together as a team, and striving towards a common goal. They are in the midst of the action, directly influencing the outcome of the game.

In contrast, the spectators in the stands have no direct impact on the game itself. They sit back, watch what unfolds, and comment or criticize the players' actions. While fans cheer on their team, they are removed from affecting the final score.

This metaphor asks us to see life as that sports game. We can choose to be players on the court, collaborating with others, taking responsibility, and moving the ball forward. Or we can sit in the stands of life, observing and judging events and people, without making an effort to actively shape outcomes.

When Kapil failed his math exam, each family member and teacher reacted by blaming others. They told stories that portrayed themselves as victims and everyone else as villains. This trap of finger-pointing accomplishes little - it simply deflects responsibility.

Case Study 2

If instead, Kapil's loved ones came together on the same "court" and asked - How can we jointly help Kapil improve at math? - they would become agents of positive change. Similarly, at the car dealership, if employees focused on practical solutions rather than accusing each other, they could better satisfy their customers.

"Being on the court" requires humility, accountability, and a solution-focused mindset. The past cannot be altered, but the future can still be shaped by our present-moment choices. This metaphor asks us to stop rehearsing old stories, to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with others in common purpose, and to actively create the change we wish to see.

Wherever we see room for improvement around us, it invites us to be participants rather than critics. With open and compassionate effort, victory becomes far more likely.

"The World is Like a Bridge" Quote:

"The world is a bridge, and you should walk over it as a bridge; it should not be taken as a home."

This quote, often attributed to Islamic scholar Imam al-Ghazali, advises not to become too attached to the material world (the bridge) but to use it as a means to cross over to something more meaningful. It's a reminder to focus on what truly matters in life and not get lost in temporary pleasures or distractions.

Theodore Roosevelt's "The Man in the Arena" Speech:

This speech highlights the importance of courage and effort. It states that the credit belongs to the person who is actively trying, even if they fail, rather than the critics who only observe. It's a powerful message for anyone striving to achieve something, encouraging them to keep going despite setbacks.

Brene Brown's Connection to Roosevelt's Speech:

Brene Brown is a researcher and author who studies vulnerability and courage. She relates to Roosevelt's speech because it resonates with her work on embracing vulnerability and showing up despite the fear of criticism or failure. Her personal experience with harsh criticism after a viral TED Talk led her to embrace the message of the speech, which helped her overcome her fears and continue her work with renewed confidence.

Brene Brown's Story:

Brene Brown's story is a testament to the power of resilience and vulnerability. After facing harsh criticism online, she found solace and inspiration in Roosevelt's "The Man in the Arena" speech. It taught her that vulnerability is not about winning or losing, but about showing up and being seen. She realized that if she wanted to create and make a difference, she had to accept that criticism and setbacks were part of the process.

This breakthrough helped her embrace her vulnerability and continue her work with courage and confidence. Had she listened to her hateful critics she would not have become the profound leader ta she is today.

The Man in the Arena

Here is an excerpt from Theodore Roosevelt's iconic "The Man in the Arena" speech, which he delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France on April 23, 1910:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Final Take Home

The speech emphasizes taking bold action and risking failure over criticizing others' efforts from the sidelines. It praises those who strive greatly to achieve things, even if they fall short at times. The closing line contrasts daring, engaged people with those too timid to attempt anything difficult. Overall, it's an exhortation to be actively involved and daring rather than passive and critical.

Be on the Court of your life, my friends!

TheRachele