Forgive & Forget
Forgiving and forgetting are two intertwined concepts that are often misunderstood. Forgiveness means releasing the anger, resentment and negative emotions towards someone who has wronged you, whereas forgetting refers to wiping out the memory of the wrongdoing completely.Many people believe that forgiveness and forgetting are inseparable, and that forgiving someone means forgetting what they did. However, the truth is that forgiving and forgetting are two distinct processes that require different levels of effort.
Forgiveness is a powerful action that allows individuals to move forward and overcome past hurts. It requires a great deal of emotional maturity and self-awareness to let go of the grudges and resentments towards those who have caused pain. Forgiveness can be difficult, but it is necessary for emotional healing and personal growth. It allows individuals to free themselves from the emotional burden of anger and bitterness, and to move forward with positivity and hope.
Forgiveness is not a one-time event but rather a process that takes time and effort. It involves acknowledging the hurt, expressing emotions, and then deciding to let go of the resentment towards the wrongdoer, Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened and moving on from it.
Forgiveness does not mean that the wrongdoer is absolved of the responsibility or that they should be excused for their actions. It simply means that the person who has wronged chooses to release the negative emotions associated with the wrongdoing and move on.
On the other hand, forgetting is not always possible, nor is it always desirable. While it is important to let go of negative emotions associated with the wrongdoing , it is also important to remember what happened in order to learn from it and to prevent similar situations from occurring in the future.
Forgetting can also be dangerous in some situations, such as in cases of abuse and neglect. Forgetting the past can lead to patterns of behavior that perpetuate harmful relationships or situations. It is important to remember what happened in order to protect oneself and to make informed decisions in the future.
Forgiveness and forgetting are two separate but related processes that are essential for emotional healing and personal growth. Forgiveness allows individuals to release negative emotions and move forward with positivity, while forgetting can be useful for learning from past mistakes and protecting oneself from harm. It is important to recognize the differences between the two processes and to practice forgiveness and forgetting in a way that is healthy and beneficial for oneself.
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Thank you for getting these two "events" out for discussion. It is easy to tell one that has been hurt to forgive and forget. Unfortunately, these days those that are hurting others are the very ones to evoke this i.e., "can't forgive and forget? This is what God wants!!" Then the burden is shifted to the one that is hurt. Forgiveness makes meaning and brings healing if the culprit acknowledges his/her wrong, asks to be forgiven, and is willing to go the extra mile to make restitution or amends.
Forgetting, the way I understand means not to lose the memory of the event, but rather, if you forgive one who offended, you do not base on the very wrong you forgave him/her, to judge him/her when another offense is committed.
Once again, thank you so much for this topic.
Thank you Joseph for that remarkable insight! However, it is usually the victim of the wrong deed that suffers and struggles to “forgive” and “forget”. Then eventually, as the same person desires to achieve atonement and forgave, yet as the memory of the wrong deed is remembered, the hurtful feeling comes back.
When one struggles to shake off that bitterness, the wound hasn’t healed, and cannot forget, would one qualify such as forgiven but not forgotten?
Twinnie, it is always best to forgive, although challenging, it is better for you to let go, make amends and move forward with your life
Even though you won't forget, but when you do remember, it is with a positive effect that you are now free to move forward without any regret
People say it freely, “ I forgive you “
But if the memory of how you were wronged still brings back bad feelings towards you, did you really forgive?
Thanks Twinster!
Have a great day !
Cheers,
Maria 🌹
Of course. The memory will always be there, it is up to you to try to remember it in positive light.
Believe me, I know it can be hard, but it is better for you to let it go so as not to allow a bad memory to have power over your mind.
Excellent view on positivity Twinster!
I guess once you immerse yourself with positivity, you drown the negativities down!!!
Power of the mind!!!
Cheers,
Maria 🌹
Not an easy process, I can tell you
It is one of the most difficult 5hojgs I've had to do
But when I weighed the options of always being miserable, grumpy and all day long negative, bring positive wins every time
A very slim lime that divides negativity and positivity. It's always a choice ~ where do you want to be is the deciding question!
Though slim as it may be, the process of crossing that line demands an enormous will power!!!
Right on Twinkie!!!
Positivity brings positive results!!
Cheers,
Maria🌹
I most certainly can't disagree with you here Maria...
Forgiving and forgetting may well be intertwined but.... they are hugely different in my opinion...
Whilst one may be able to forgive an action that was done against us, in all honesty, we will never be able to forget it...
It will always linger at the back of our minds at least...
As for forgetting, those closest to me have said I have a mind like an elephant and never forget!
Not always true, but I do remember most things be them positive or negative ...
You've got me thinking now my friend...
Appreciate the share as always and enjoy the rest of your day!
Cheers!
👍🍻🥂
My question is , as the thought of how you were wronged still brings back the bad feelings, did you even forgive the person or was it lip service?
Well, as you echo the same sentiments, I throw you the same question,as that if the thought of how you were wronged still brings you the same exact feeling as when it was done against you, is that true forgiveness or just lip service?
Cheers,
Maria 🌹
I think I might be coming apathetic to any old wrongs done to me. If they used to generate thoughts of vengeance say, I know that is wrong, so I shut it down and at least try not to think bad about the person that wronged me.
This is where I am at.
JD
JD, if it’s apathy that will help to not feel bitter about the person, then we can view apathy as a form of defense, that it protects us from getting hurt!
Cool mindset JD! 🤜🏻🤛🏻
Never just lip service Maria...
I have truly forgiven others for various wrongs my friend, I wish I could forget about them completely, but unfortunately my brain just doesn't seem to work that way!!
Cheers!
👍🥂
Believe me Nick, I can relate!!
But when it comes down to the memories arising, I shake it off, and with all my strength bury it as deep, so it does not win over me!
There’s too many negative things that I had gone through for me to say this! Too many that you can’t even imagine!!! 😢
Cheers,
Maria 🌹
:) Right now all of those people and feelings are far away. So I am just trying to live day by day. :)
Thanks, Maria.
JD
For me JD, those people are so far away, but the feelings are is right deep with in that cuts like a knife whenever I allow it to surface!
I need a lot of energy and will power to keep it buried!
🌹
I remember being like that. But there is no reason to get worked up over old hurts. If the people that did the hurting are no longer around or affecting you or yours, then let it go, or shelve it.
I have more important things and better people to worry about and be with. You are one of them, Maria.
💖
Absolutely the same as me dear friend!
Bury things as deep as possible, but unfortunately never forgotten!!
Cheers again!!
(I may get slightly tipsy today at this rate)!!
👍🤣🍻🥂
Nooooo Maria!!
I would prefer something a little weaker....
Perhaps a glass of grape juice or a large G&T!!!
🤣🍷🍸🍹🍾
I can live with green tea, with a touch of honey and fresh mint my friend!!!
But some red grape juice always goes down better this time of the night!!
🍷👍🤣
Very well said! You’re so right about those differences, Maria. To forgive is also to mend the heart whereas to forget is not always the goal. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Susan 🌹☘️
I understand your point on the issue of “forgetting “ . But is it really “forgiving “ when everytime the thought of how you were wronged still brings back a bad feeling ? Did you deep down forgave the person or was it lip service?
Thank you for dropping by Susan!
Have a great day!
Cheers,
Maria 🌹
What I meant was forgiveness gives us the peace to move forward in the end and it’s a good goal to work toward. But some pain cannot be forgotten, nor does it need to. It’s about reframing. Just my two cents, Have a great day! 🌹
Absolutely, my friend! If it will give us peace to move forward, then by all means, with all strength, bury the negative force down. Let your life be surrounded by positivity!
"It's about reframing" ~ is exactly right, Susan!!!
Cheers,
Maria🌹
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Hi Maria, I have been through a lot in my life time. And forgiveness is the most difficult process to go through for someone. And as for forgetting is also difficult because we in essences have forgotten but we really don't ever forget the wrong that has been done to us.
I have forgiven many people but as for forgetting no that is not happening only because that is that is what makes me stronger and also not to repeat the past. No one ever really forgets the wrong that others have done.
Mary