Losing momentum

Fear is an unconscious motivator in my life. It had guided so many of my decisions and the outcome has led me to dead ends and quitting points. Living in fear is not really living, its existing and performing actions to satisfy that uncomfortable thought of what might happen. This is my existence. Making choices out of fear of consequences and fear of failure has never worked for me. I entered into this WA program with eyes wide open, excited, motivated and driven. I partook in the lessons, created 2 sites, made a blog or 2, asked a few questions, then I hit some road bumps. This is the point where most people quit I think. It's so easy to just quit here and just say, "screw it! this is BS." The desire to succeed is eminent, but my lack of experience and lack of money keep replaying in my mind. Fear of failing is holding me back. I have accomplished so much in my life, and right now is a low point. Ultimately, using this low point to generate something amazing is the goal. Here is a little snippet about my life, that's kind of interesting to give a little of a background into my story.

Born into an impoverished lifestyle in the favelas of Francisco Beltrao, Brazil, my early life was glum and sad. Fortunately, I was blessed, picked up, taken to an orphanage where I lived for 2 years. At the age of 7, I was adopted and brought to the United States and have had a great life here. I truly understand the love and mercy of God, and know he is responsible for everything I have accomplished and I continue to be blessed everyday. I graduated from Nursing School and became a nurse despite what many people thought and said. I had the drive and desire to prove the people who doubted me wrong and to become something great. As a nurse, I help others, and have a lot of compassion for people, but I still feel like there's more to this. I have helped so many people throughout my 10 years as a nurse but somehow I feel I am being held back to the possiblities of what else life has to offer. I want to give back and make others feel as blessed and thankful as I do.

I don't think I stumbled upon this program by accident, and my desire to succeed through wealthy affiliates is unmeasurable. Success to many people is determined by possessions and income. I desire more than that however. I want to be comfortable enough to be able to do the things necessary to enrich the lives of others. I don't want money to be my primary motivator through this experience but I'm not going to lie, I do want money too. My biggest goal is to create something great for others. I was so fortunate to be given the opportunity to come to this great country where anything is possible, and I want to give back to people.

I want to create an organization to facilitate and help potential families adopt children in need from Brazil. This is a huge undertaking that I am prepared to bring on. This project is in the works in my mind (I even have a name picked out) but I need the funds to accomplish it. I was hoping to generate funds through success on WA. Right now I'm stuck though and I'm at the point in my journey where I usually quit but I don't want to this time. I have my little website about painting, but I just can't seem to get passed this point. I keep adding and tweeking and adjusting, and changing but as for affiliate programs and rankings and getting people to my site, I am so in the dark. I don't want to give up but I feel literally stuck in this spot. Please give me some suggestions and ideas as to what I can do from here. I have not moved from this point in 2 weeks. My site offers adivice and educates people on how to paint really well. I also want to sell some of my paintings on my site if possible. Please help and thank you for taking the time to read my blog.

Best Wishes,

Luci