I left WA and now I am back.

bylistenlinda

144 followers

4 days ago

It wasn’t really a question, more of a statement, when BetterDays2C noted that I had left almost seven (7) years ago… and now I’m back.

So why am I back after so long?

When I first joined WA, I wanted to be a Wealthy Affiliate. I thought: I love writing. I can throw together a few blogs, slap on a couple product links, and bam—wealthy affiliate.
Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?

Well… this girl met a very different reality.

I remember going through the training about discovering my niche and thinking, Okay, maybe I’ll write about building wealth. Or health. And I started. But the ideas didn’t come easily. Writing felt like pulling teeth.
What could I possibly say that hadn’t already been said—louder, better, and by someone else?

I wasn’t passionate. My fingers didn’t glide across the keyboard. The words didn’t float out of me. And discouragement sat heavy.

At the time, I had an accountability partner. Every time he asked how I was doing, I replied, “Fine. I’m making progress.”
The lie came out easier than the words on the screen.

I didn’t want to look like a failure. I didn’t want to quit. Not after I’d already paid the $400-something for the year.

Then—enter the shiny object.

I was working in real estate, and someone mentioned joining a Zillow team and making money that way. Slowly, I found excuses not to log in. I convinced myself my time was better spent knocking on doors physically instead of building something digitally.

My mojo disappeared. My drive went right out the window. Being a Wealthy Affiliate became this unattainable dream I quietly decided just wasn’t for me.

And then… life happened.

Depression has a way of creeping in when you’re not following what your spirit is calling you to do—at least that’s my version of spirituality. The spirit demands, the mind resists, and when they’re out of sync, the body keeps the score.

Life took me through rocky terrain and forced me to look at what my heart actually beats for. And no matter how far I wandered, the circle kept closing back to writing.

I love words.
The way they sound.
The quirky shapes they make when you handwrite them.
The rhythm they create when certain words collide.

Ahhh.

So I started writing again.

First on my phone—thinking about that old WA account, but not daring to pay for something I might fail at again. Then in journals, dissecting every feeling my body carried while my mind fought my spirit (these jokers). Then I discovered Google Docs… oh, the freedom.

Typing for hours.
Fifteen thousand words in a day.
Not wanting to stop—but duty calling.

Eventually, I pitched what I was writing to my sister.

Her response: “If mom and dad knew you were writing that, they’d crucify you.”

Can you guess what I wrote?

Yeah.
That.

Erotica! Of all things.

So I dropped the imaginary pen—again—and told myself this wasn’t for me. My mind was too weird. Especially for someone raised Christian, known as the goodie-two-shoes, the role model, the firstborn of the family.

Frankly, I could write an entire book on that, but that’s for another day.

Years passed. I’d still sneak thoughts about my characters. Watch them play out scenes in my head. Imagine them living freely... doing what their hearts desired... while I stayed trapped in a mold, a cage designed long before I knew I had a choice.

This year, the blessed and maybe cursed year, I broke the chains. Cut the cord. And even later in life, I chose my own path.

I moved to a different state. Created a pen name. And I finished, and published, my erotica.

There. I said it.
The veil is off.
It’s me.

So this long-winded story is really just a way of saying: as I worked through my trauma, I found something worth writing about.

Hi. My name is also Lori Lynn, and I write chaotic love stories.

If this were an AA meeting, that’d be my introduction. Or something like that.

As one of the WA founders eloquently put it: to give direction to your business, you have to find your niche, and your niche lives at the intersection of passion and interest.

I found mine. Actually… I found two.

One is writing chaotic love stories (some inspired by true events).
The second is healing from the trauma those chaotic love stories create.

Do I have passion for that?

We shall see.

Second time’s the charm.