Embrace Your Struggles

byleaningwest

529 followers

Updated 10 years ago

This is a long post. So, get a cup of coffee and find a comfortable seat. It’s important.

Most of us know of the rags to riches stories of some of more famous figures in history... Henry Ford, Andrew Carnegie, Warren Buffet, JK Rowling, Sam Walton, to name a few. If you aren't familiar, do yourself a favor and read their stories. There is a very common thread that runs through all of their stories. They had a dream, they embraced their vision, they worked tirelessly, they were focused, they did whatever it took and they refused to quit.

There are struggles and there are struggles. Lately, I've identified that I've allowed myself to be caught up and focused on the wrong struggle. I've been focused on how I struggle at a very physically demanding, minimum wage job, struggling to make my bills, struggling to save money... Whoa! Stop it! Thoughts are things and I've been allowing my thoughts to be focused on the wrong things! I mean... what will I ever accomplish thinking about how much I hate frying chicken? D-uh!

So, today I ate a can of tuna and two hard boiled eggs after a long walk and I was reflecting on some of the stories of success from people I've met personally.

There is Mike R... I first met Mike after listening to him speak on stage. He came to this country with only a few dollars and struggling for months just to find food to eat. Incidentally, what he lived on for years was canned tuna... hence, I suppose that my tuna, in some odd way, is the inspiration of my blog. One afternoon, while sitting on a park bench... where he often slept at night, he overheard a conversation between two people about an MLM opportunity. He was fascinated and approached them and, with his limited English, engaged them in a barrage of questions about how the business worked. He didn't care about the product but saw a clear opportunity in the business plan. He went on to explain the process he went through to rise to where he is today, from getting his hands on a computer, living in a van and driving around to scavenge on other's unlocked wi/fi signals, to living in a multi-million dollar home and driving a $160K car. He did what it took. By the way... to this day, Mike refuses to eat anything with tuna in it.

Then there is Danny S... from a poor family in our small farm community, Danny was determined, from a very young age, to be his family's first college graduate and he succeeded in doing just that, getting good grades, working odd jobs and living on couches. He was willing to do whatever it took. From there, he created one success after the other by fearlessly going after every good idea that came to him and doing whatever it took to sell his ideas. Today, I take great vicarious joy in following him on Facebook. He is an international businessman, living in Austria, traveling the world with a new wife and, at the age of 60, just won the Austria Indoor Tennis Championship in his age group. A victory that he attributes to hours and hours of practice in our desert heat that hovered around 110 deg in the 8 months of summer we had and many times up to 120 deg.

Lance M... Lance was a fun-loving, long-haired, friend of mine who loved beer, fast dirt bikes, and women. His abilities to satisfy himself with latter of the two, came to a screeching halt, literally, when he was racing on his bike in the desert and slammed into the back of an open pickup tailgate and severed his spine. After a few years of heavy drinking and being pretty obnoxious and feeling sorry for himself, Lance made the choice to change his situation and went to work, doing whatever it took to get sober and get back into life, first volunteering and then creating a living helping others who were wheelchair bound. He became a popular promoter of wheelchair sports and has toured the country speaking to and encouraging youth. Never letting go of his love of speed, today, he is active in wheelchair motorsport racing.

There is Todd R... badly injured in a terrible accident, he endured years of rehab and surgeries that broke his bank account and would have broken the spirit of most, but he didn't choose into being a victim. In spite of his residual injuries and wounds, that he will carry for his lifetime, he got focused and busy and built a successful career... multiple careers that enabled him to retire a young millionaire. He has given copious hours of volunteer work and funds to those who had suffered as he had, encouraging them that there was a life out there for them is they chose to embrace it. In his journey, Todd did whatever it took... twice. First to survive an accident that, by all means should have killed him and then again, to rebuild his life and, not just survive, but, to create wealth. Faced with new setbacks in recent years that brought him back to zero, I'm watching him go at it again and I have not one iota of doubt that he will do whatever it takes to create success for himself, whatever that looks like to him.

I don't define success in bank account balances and it’s not our successes that define us. It’s the struggle. It’s the point when the dream, the vision, indeed our lives, become important enough to us that we are willing to do whatever it takes to make them reality. When you’ll stay up late, get up early, work during your lunch break…yeah, whatever it takes. That’s what defines you. That’s what molds and shapes your life. It’s easy to look at successful people and assume that they never were in the struggle, that they never had to hustle, that they never had to work. Let me take a minute and dispossess you of that notion.

On to my story – On March 3, 1976 my brother died of cancer and it devastated me. We were only 14 mos apart in age and I wasn’t sure what was happening my life so I stuck my head in the sand, put on a "everything is ok" face and started to spiral out of control. We hadn’t had the relationship either of us truly should have the last year of his life. I think it was my way of refusing to face what was going on. So I partied, started working in bars, suffered an eating disorder, partied some more.... then I got pregnant. Suddenly there was something even more important than me to think about. Her name is Erin. Still working as a waitress, a short order cook and struggling to raise my little girl, I moved from my small town to San Diego where I met my ex-husband. He was a struggling roofing contractor and had just had his wife walk out the door. Jim and I courted, got pregnant and married in that order. A business friend was getting into forensic work and an expert witness for construction defect litigation and I saw how his income was blossoming. I wanted that for us. I embraced that vision like a mad woman and got to work. I traded my waitress apron for a computer. I woke up early and went to bed late. I worked while everyone slept. I was relentless. I sacrificed. If I was watching TV, it was background noise while I was working. I learned new skills. I did whatever it took, teaching myself how to do bookkeeping before I had ever balanced a checkbook, tax preparing, billing and dug in to turn our struggling roofing business that was grossing about $35K annually into a consulting business that was grossing over $2M/year in a relatively short time. In recent years, I've lost all of that. After the divorce, my ex managed to run the business down and convinced a judge that he was broke. All my alimony and most of the child support was gone overnight. I'm not going to lie... I may not be responsible for his failure but, I should have lived for the possibility that that could happen. But, I didn't. I lived and spent like it wouldn't and so I depleted my savings, had to sell my home and now am broke and it's on me. I won't kid you... it's been a struggle to get my mojo going again. I have had to make some real sacrifices and dig deep and pray hard to get my engine to turn over. First, I left my children and grandchildren to distance myself from negative energy of living in a large city where I never felt complete and, frankly, some negative siblings. Fortunately, I found myself with a friend who has helped me restore much of my lost confidence with his patience, encouragement and just letting me know that he appreciates me and the things I do for him.

Today, I'm ridding myself of some bad habits that distract me from "doing whatever it takes". I find it harder at 59 but, hell.. God willing, I will see 60, 61, 62, 63 and on and I will be continually successful as I celebrate those birthdays! I am ready to trade in the struggles associated with failure for the struggles of success. You know what I mean?

My hope is that you will embrace your dreams, your vision, indeed YOUR LIFE. If you do, and you are willing to do whatever it takes, you can have whatever you dream of, whatever you envision, indeed whatever life you want. Your path is not my path. Your life is not my life. Your job is to understand your dreams, your vision, indeed your life. I want you to figure it out. I want you to win. I want us to win!