Accepting Change

byKimRenee

278 followers

6 years ago

Change is a part of life and growth. It is necessary in order to evolve. If you want to expand opportunities, be a better person, make a better life.

Change is also painful. The term "growing pains" is a real thing.

Change implies leaving something in search of something else, something new, something better. It can be a job, a home, a relationship, a situation.

Change requires courage, faith and sacrifice because leaving is difficult. I causes real personal pain for you and also affects those around you as well.

Yet, as I said before, it is necessary. Therefore, we should acknowledge this fact and learn to accept change with grace and flexibility.

As the wife of a former law enforcement officer/detective, I can attest to last-minute changes to everything from having to spend holidays with him (sometimes even on the way to the holiday destination!), to little thing like having to leave work to pick up my kids.

We even had to spend time without him when he was diagnosed with PTSD and had to go on his own to get better.

Did I like it? Uh, no. Was I always graceful about it? Not always. But it was inevitable and when we handled it with maturity, it was bearable. And with flexibility and creativity, it was even fun at times.

What inspired me to write this is a situation that is affecting our family due to our move to Georgia from California. It has turned out to be an excellent decision. We are happy and thriving here. Our two adult daughters insisted on following us: our oldest with her daughter and her husband, and our youngest is awaiting the impending arrival of her fiance. He's due her pretty soon.

It was a decision a long time in the making for Erik (my husband) and me. Larissa, our eldest, was chomping at the bit to leave California for years but not confident about what she would find out there. Our youngest, Jamee, was doing alright. She has a good job and adapting well to adulthood. But we're all very close and when the three of us left, she decided to follow a few months after her sister and, of course, her other half misses her and is sort of struggling with life in the land of skyrocketing rent, outrageous taxation and limited job prospects. So, he will be here soon as well.

Surprisingly, no one was supportive of this move. In spite of the fact that we were excited to move our life to another place, my parents, and the "in-laws" are very unhappy about us leaving and moving so far away.

I understand they're going to miss us being close but we're just a plane ride away.

And instead of being happy for any of us, they have all done unkind things as a response: Erik and I have endured false gossip and juvenile treatment, my kids were treated very rudely as well. The parents of their significant others played tug of war with them and forced them to choose, and of course, they chose their women.

Aren't we supposed to raise our children to eventually leave the nest and create their own lives? All of them are in their mid to late twenties, for Pete's sake! We have always encouraged our Girlz to venture out on their own and see what they find. And threaten to visit them often :) We are forunate that they want to be close to us, but that could change so who knows.

But we have all agreed that it's not appropriate (or acceptable) to discourage them from following their hearts and dreams. They are very artistic and open to possibilities and that's the way we all like it.

Ripping them in half by holding on too tight when they want to go another direction would mean risking their happiness and losing them altogether and we would never want to do that.

I love both Andrew and Joey and it hurts me to see them so torn. I can handle their parents blaming us because they have always been close to us and like being near us, but witnessing the hurt they experience, hurts us as well. They're all such great people with so much ahead of them.

I wish their parents could see that, let go and wish them well.