Damn flies, why can't you stay out of my water?

bykathrynluisa

105 followers

4 years ago

Once again I had to get up to empty out my glass of water because I noticed a tiny fly floating in it. A small annoyance that comes with having plants indoors in a small condo. I know where the pests are coming from, my latest addition who might be a little overwatered, the grass plant grown for my cats to munch on. The bugs are a small price to pay to avoid cleaning up cat vomit and paying high vet bills when my cats chew on the grass outside my front door. Plus, having to walk to the kitchen more forces me to get more steps in, and how can that be a bad thing?

Sleeping in

Today started off late. With my boyfriend working late at his new job I find myself staying up later to spend time with him, knowing we'll have time the next day. A big reason for this is because recently we went through a huge upheaval in our life together. Due to a false accusation, he was arrested and spent 22 days in jail. He has an amazing lawyer and the accuser has changed their story three different times, so there is a good chance the charges won't stick around forever.

However, since these changes have affected his career he's had to take on a job that pays much less than he's used to making. On top of that, he keeps getting offers to interview for jobs in his original career, which at the advice of his lawyer he has been to hold off on applying to.

It hurts to see how depressed he gets when faced with the reality of the situation, In what sometimes seems like a futile attempt, I'm spending much of my time with him trying to keep his thoughts on the bright side. He's a good man, but he often doesn't think beyond the initial thought or feeling he gets when faced with something and that keeps him from moving forward.

My time

Because of how much energy I put into helping him when he's here, I look forward to when he's at work and I can focus on my stuff. That's e the time I spend here on WA with you amazing people, putting work in on my sites, and learning how to improve my content. It's also the time I spend exercising and cooking, playing with my cats, journaling, meditating, and catching up on the current Netflix series I want to watch that my boyfriend doesn't want to watch.

It's also when I catch up on chores, or don't, like the pile of dishes that is steadily growing in my kitchen. Or the laundry basket full of clean clothing that will never likely get folded and put away. As a mobile massage therapist, I spend so much time washing and folding sheets and blankets that putting away my personal laundry seems like too much of a chore.

So many things to do

Somehow with all that's on my to-do list, I still find time to fantasize about being in far-off locations, or dancing in a club with a crowd of friends who like myself are just living their best lives. Most of my friends are introverts though, so that crowd, in reality, would only consist of one or two people.

When it comes to my friends I'm lucky to have people in my life who don't mind that I don't call them consistently. I get so focused and busy with my own things that although I've been thinking about someone for a week I often forget to let them know I'm thinking about them. My friends tend to be very busy as well. Like myself many of them are self-employed. Many of those who aren't self-employed have kids, and others have multiple jobs. My extroverted friends always seem to have a lot on their plates and asking them to slow down to have a cup of coffee and a long chat, which is my preferred friend date, is often met with a disinterested maybe.

That's the social life of a thirty-something these days it seems. I'm not the only millennial who's experiencing this kind of social silence. While most people blame the internet for making people less social, they seem to forget that there is a lot of pressure put on younger people to be more, do more, and live up to sometimes unrealistically high expectations while still just trying to survive.

Burning from both ends

A term used for my generation is, "The burnout generation." How true this is as we try to be everything to everyone, even as we're called lazy, unmotivated, and lacking in work ethic. We're so absorbed by FOMO that we can't see how much we're already doing, we forget to celebrate ourselves and our small wins.

In some cases, we're lacking in resources and in other cases, we have too many resources! We are constantly overwhelmed with the amount of information that's out there to accomplish what we want and what we're told we should accomplish. There are so many "coaches" and experts out there and we don't always know who to turn to and when.

We're the generation who believes we have to attain a certain level of beauty, intelligence, business savvy, wealth, unique experiences, and positive thoughts to be deemed acceptable. We're told not to care about what others think, while at the same time be told we should care.

Grateful for what I've found here

It's hard to see the struggle my peers go through and it makes me that much more thankful that I found WA. This site is well organized and has so many people sharing their experiences in an open and honest way that isn't just about selling another online course. I love the diversity of people here and the support everyone shows one another.

Thank you all for being here and being part of my journey as you allow me to be part of yours!