Ego a-GoGo
Comparing my old negative ego brain with my new brain is like driving a Volkswagen compared to a Porsche.
Until I met my (soon to be) husband, I really didn't know the real difference between my a practical economy car and his hot luxury sports car. I assumed luxury cars were driven by assholes, and normal cars were for kind folk, like me. Right there disproving this made up theory was my super hot, loving future husband and his well polished sports car. You see, ego told me the same thing about skinny people, rich people and smart people as it did about sports cars- those fancy ass ideals existed in a world I never understood and held deep resentment toward. By this I mean, I conditioned myself or let my ego drive the Volkswagen never allowing the Porche in me to truly shine through.
My ego keeps my ass in a sling.
The unhealthy ego can be assumed as a conditioned or false part of self therefore it is not who you are but what you have come to believe you are. (Notalways very helpful.) And yet another not helpful, not true, ego tip: your ego is never wrong, and it is always somebody else’s fault.
Still ego is meant to be our window to the world around us–a neutral and extremely useful source of information about what’s happening.
Maybe it's the dread of stepping forward, the suspicion of judgment, the angst of exposing imperfections or vulnerabilities.
Could it be the brokenness that started my fears bubbling up?
The resurfacing, reinfecting shame, doubt, and the lies that ego fed to an unlived life - always winning by distraction, resistance, and shrinking over and over again every time risked by change?I am no longer holding myself back yet I have the well played ego. Stories roam the vacant lots of my old brain looking for any reason to impound illegally parked confidence or new-found wisdom.
Better yet, success is a 10/4 to that ghost cop car stashed away under the overpass. "Pull over, ma'am, people might notice you're being awesome today. Tone down your SEO girl. Could you please slow down or better yet just stop?"
Seeing that I have victoriously strong armed the wrestling match with my fears who could have predicted lurking behind all that I would have come to cheap shots and low blows with ego?
Nowadays I can see more clearly what was really going on.
So what do we do with this bad relationship with ego in its negative functions, anyway?
Freud stated that we don’t really need to understand the ego. The Freudian definition of “ego” is simply “the most central part of the mind, which mediates with one’s surroundings.” All we need to do is watch as we repeat the same thinking, feeling, and behavior that repeatedly causes to good stuff or the suffering our life.
When we have a healthy ego it's easier to move through life with a wide-open heart, healthy boundaries and a solid sense of self.
A healthy ego is essential for happiness, fulfillment, and resilience.
Make a conscious choice.
The point is that when you strip away the fear, the stories, and the judgments away from what’s happening in this moment, and simply notice it, you become free to choose your response.
That’s all! Create awareness, gain perspective and make a choice.
A Truer Path to Self Acceptance
"The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.” ? Steven Pressfield
I believe that experiences like this are like mini “resurrections”; being scared to death give us opportunities to wake up to our own imperfections in our humanity and offers the preciousness of each choice. This realization let us recover with new awareness into a stream of events that make up our –always changing life full of rebirths and deaths. And in seeing this universal state of the human condition, we can develop compassion for ourselves and for others.
Now I can use this lesson as a new-found super power.
So the keys to a fancy sports car with in yourself, and can show you how to significantly enhance your overall life experience.
This is also helps learn new things, bring more things abundantly into our world, and…
… because … you can learn how to be scared well.
… this is why, I believe, we all deserve to live a juicy life…
Fortunately, our worldview can change and that is what working with Wealthy Affiliate can do to shrink the negative ego. The purpose of life being to come as close as possible to the realization of the divinity within us. I wholeheartedly believe this training will help pathfinders achieve a more successful loving world.
Using the Positive Healthy Ego to Set You Free.
We can all use some tools to get your ego working for you:
- Notice the negative ego. Awareness is key and certainly half the battle. Sneak up on your negative ego spinning tales around and look at what’s really happening.
- Focus on the truth. Ask yourself, “What if I let go of judgement? Is there a right/wrong? Does it have to be good/bad?”
- Use your positive ego on your negative ego. In the book "Loving What Is" Byron Katie suggests we ask "Can I absolutely knowit is true?" For the most part we can not.
- Change takes courage. We can face reality with a positive ego and tell a new story that is different. Ultimately, it means living in a state of love — a lot more of the time.
Do you let your accomplishments speak for themselves?
A humble person with an impressive track record is more appealing than someone who divulges credentials immediately. These refreshing encounters shed can light on our mission.
There's a fine line between a healthy dose of confidence and an unchecked ego. But addressing where you lie on the spectrum will put the quality of your leadership in perspective and help you improve your areas of weakness. That kind of ego is something everyone can drive.
Recent Comments
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HI Kathleen,
I do not like Ego subject, but there is a way EGO does work to change peoples bad ego's. Thanks for sharing.
Sham
Thank you for your honest opinion. I agree, if we learn something from those uncomfortable places we can be stranger. I am happy you are here to share that with me. Much appreciation to you Sham.
Fab post. Resurrections are definitely related to the little deaths that both Freud and Jung described. They will happen again and again; we will all fall and rise again. It will be awful and wonderful repeatedly. And you will survive each time, no matter how awful, you will survive. We can learn from this, if we want. But we don’t get to rise if we don’t let ourselves fall in the first place.
Ego and internal stresses aren’t the only things that prevent such learning. It’s also socially and culturally imposed. Members here sometimes describe the heartache of people not believing in them. Or else there are heavy community expectations that keep them in check. What does it take to break free from these?
On humility: there is also the danger of faux humility. We expect it as a form of performance and testimonial in contemporary society, and it is the counterpart of toxic ego. In my family, some of this is an aspect of religiosity and misogyny. I was repeatedly stifled and told to keep secret every success I had as a student and professional - tell nobody! This is what God wants of women! Meanwhile, mediocre men are lauding themselves.
This is not what I want for my daughters. I want them to be free of such tortured thoughts, and to simply realise their potential, without any regard for who their happiness might offend.
I am so happy to hear your brilliant wisdom Ivy. Absolutely bang on for making a difference for our daughters. I am proud to raise them with this knowledge but first we rise. I am so happy you shared your heart. Thank you for connecting.
Hi Kathleen, Thanks for sharing.
There are different parts of the brain which deal with fear and decision making.
When we attempt to make big changes, the fear part kicks in and a powerful resistance is felt.
In order to make big changes we need to involve the rational and logical brain. We do this by making small steps. This allows us to overcome the small fears.
Great post. I was taught that there are not weaknesses, only areas for improvement.
Good luck with your endeavours.
Thank you, thank you, thank you... I love that you are inspired. It is this community that I have learned how to overcome the resistance. Thank you for being a part of that.
Much gratitude.
Wow!! You just made my DAY!! Thank you for the super comment. I am gushing!! Lets keep the goodness going!!
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Loved the comparison Kathleen. I've driven a VW Beetle but never a Porsche but I can imagine the difference and when it comes to ego I would definitely opt for the comfortable ride. :)
Love Byron Katie by the way. Such a simple process her four questions but there's no place to hide when I use them, ever.
~Mark :)
Hello Mark!! Thank you for your comment. I am always impressed with you!! There are a lot of similarities in our lives/work. It is nice to know we are here to find the comfortable sweet spot in our lives and in our success.
Cheers my friend!!