Depression had me down, but not out
I am finally writing again. It feels good to be doing so.
Don't get me wrong, I was still writing an average of seven stories a week for the newspaper at which I work, but I was not doing any writing on my blogs at all and hardly any here at WA.
Part of it was being busy with life and summer and family. But another part—a big part actually—was plain, old depression.
I know that many of us suffer from depression. It seems to be the norm these days. Rather than bore you with the details of this last bout that I went through, I wanted to let you know that I am back to doing writing for me and for my people (blog followers?)...
Part of what was going on was that even though I know I am not financially ready to quit my day job just yet, I really want to. That wanting to and not being able to causes quite a conflict for me.
But today, a friend of mine invited me to have lunch with her. She encouraged me so much that I came home after work, reviewed an assignment on writing content and started a new article!
I'm not quite done writing it yet, because I had to take a short break when my beautiful granddaughter came home and had to tell me about her school day, but I will finish it tonight!
In the meantime, I have to remind myself that my time to dedicate myself to my blogs is now when I am just sitting around playing video games or otherwise disconnecting from reality!
I know that I am not free and clear of this feeling, but this recent time in my life has taught me a lesson in the importance of timing and continuing to work no matter what "feelings" about my day job come up.
Obviously, the very real depression existed, as well. But stressing out about my job did not help alleviate the depression, but only served to exacerbate the feeling that I was a failure.
I know I am not a failure and I refuse to believe the inner critic that says I am.
Instead, I am going to focus on others and on writing my blogs because then I know I am doing something for someone else.
“Depression is focusing on yourself; on your troubles and what is not right. You can't be depressed if you are focusing on others. It's impossible.”
― Elizabeth Bourgeret
Have a great weekend!