"Ain't Parenting Fun?"

byJoshua0853

708 followers

Updated 10 years ago

Every once in a while, I’ll read something on a blog or in a forum written by a parent of a teenager whose behavior is problematic. This can be an especially tough challenge for first time parents.

I feel parents’ pain when it comes to their teens. I had the "pleasure" of raising two sets of them and found that exhibiting a calm, deliberate demeanor during times of crisis works best (at least, it did for me). If I could offer only three principles about the task that lies before most parents, it would be this: Ensure consistency, Always have a plan, and Understand that "this too, shall pass.

THREE PRINCIPLES

1. Ensure consistency:
a). Set rules/boundaries jointly with your spouse, and make sure they are enforceable.
b). Establish procedures to ensure the kids don't play one parent against the other.
c). Apply consequences consistently, and stick to your guns.

2. Always have a plan:
a). Never "talk" to your kids about an infraction without formulating a plan beforehand. Kids (especially teens) are absolute masters at "confusing the issue", "changing the subject", and "redirecting the blame."
b). Learn to use the following phrase (or something similar) to keep yourself on track during "discussions" with your teens: "I acknowledge that you may have a good point there, and I promise that we'll discuss it later, but right now, we are talking about X." Then, get back to the original issue.
c). Anticipate your kids' responses and have a "game plan" already established based on the infraction. However, never be afraid to deviate from that game plan when appropriate.
d). Make sure that both parents are on the same page when it comes to "punishments."

3. Understand that "this too, shall pass":
a). Believe it or not, virtually all teens go through a similar phase, when they more closely resemble vicious demon-hyenas than the cherubic little darlings of yesteryear. What you must remember is that the "demon possession" is time-limited. Your little darlings will eventually return to you...and will even appear to be civilized once again. However, it is vitally important that you exercise patience and love during the interim. It's not easy, but pays dividends later in your relationship with them.
b). Things can often get so bad that you want nothing to do with them (nor they with you). It is at those moments that you need to display maximum patience and love. Do not allow your teens’ behavior to dictate the quality of your relationship with them. They will try to upset you (purposefully), and if they succeed--they "win." Your challenge is to remain consistent in loving them. Besides, when you can do that, it totally exasperates them--in that case--you win (which actually means that everyone wins). c). Quite often, during "discussions", teens are successful at laying guilt trips on their parents if the parents are unskilled at recognizing what is happening. Therefore, you must develop the ability to recognize and counter such activity. Otherwise, it's going to be a long, several years as your teen progresses into adulthood.

c). However, I promise...it WILL pass!

"Ain't Parenting Teens Fun?"

OK, so what does any of this have to do with my WA endeavors? Well, I’m glad you asked. You see, all three of these principles can also apply to our approach to building a WA business. Just as we direct the development of a child—newborn to infant to toddler to preteen to teen to adult, we direct the development of our businesses through various stages of development.

1. Ensure Consistency:

a). Set rules/boundaries for the home office area and make sure they are enforceable.
b). Establish procedures to ensure you are not interrupted while at work; unless there is an actual emergency.
c). Apply the rules consistently, and stick to your guns.

2. Always Have a Plan:

a). Never begin a new endeavor without formulating a plan beforehand to avoid confusion, eliminate distractions, and help keep you on track.

b). Learn to use the following phrase (or something similar) to keep you on track when faced with distracting influences: "I acknowledge that this distraction is something that I must ultimately deal with, and I promise that I will deal with it later, but right now, I need to finish X." Then, get back to the original task.

c). Anticipate challenges and have a "game plan" already established based on the challenge. However, never be afraid to deviate from that game plan when appropriate.
d). Strive for balance in your life. Make sure that both parents are on the same page when it comes to supporting the endeavor. Nothing can derail a promising business venture faster than an under-appreciated spouse who is literally--"not feeling the love!"

3. Understand that "even this shall pass":

a). Believe it or not, virtually all businesses go through a similar phase, when they more closely resemble money-sucking, vicious, demon-possessed-time-warps than our hope-inspiring little entrepreneurial dreams of yesteryear. What you must remember is that the demon possessed, money-sucking is time-limited. Your little dreams will eventually become reality...and will even begin to make a profit. However, it is vitally important that you exercise patience and consistency during the interim. It's not easy, but pays dividends later in your relationship with your business.
b). Things can often get so bad that you want nothing to do with your business. Yes, there will be disappointments and setbacks. However, It is at those moments that you need to display maximum patience, persistence, and consistency. Do not allow your setbacks to determine the quality and quantity of your time devoted to the business. The business demons will appear to be hell-bent on trying to upset you (purposefully), and if they succeed--they win. Your challenge is to remain consistent in working the business. It will take time--sometimes, lots of time. That's the nature of business. The good news is that, when you devote the necessary time and effort consistently--you win.

"Ain't Parenting Businesses Fun?"