A Bitter Circle
So as the name of this blog post suggests it may be a bit of a "myeh" post.
So over the past couple of months I have not really been online and not really done any work to my website, or much within the community (as my current rank would suggest, it's slipped from the mid 600s) which really really annoys me as I'm the only one that make my dreams come true. I seem to get motivated, get back in here and then I'm dragged away with work or coursework ( I handed a 50,000+ word portfolio in at the end of last month about my internship I have taken this year as part of my degree, so as you can imagine writing that was quite time consuming) or some other aspect of my life.
And as the name of this post suggests I seem to keep finding myself in a bitter circle of motivation, start and then frustration as life gets in the way. It's frustrating and heart breaking in equal measure as I want so desperately to prove to myself I can do this and I can make a success out of myself, while I'm single handedly sabotaging myself at the same time.
I feel I desperately need to find that discipline I had at the beginning of 2016 and need to get my head down again and really make this work, because I know I can do it.
I also feel like I'm letting people down at the minute as well because I can't bring my focus back to what I need to do. By not pushing forward and making this work for me I'm in essence depriving my family of things that they dream of, depriving other my half of the life I promised her and depriving myself of the life I dream of.
I also feel like I am somehow letting down everyone here at WA by not pushing forward and by not succeeding, because everyone here is so positive and so helpful and you are all a credit to yourselves. I thank you all so much for the all the constructive criticism I have received and the little hints and tips you have all given me.
So here I am midway through this week and I have been online here 3 times so far (hey 3 in 3 days isn't so bad I guess), but this isn't good enough, I need to be more fired up, and I need to reignite the passion and the yearning for success that has been so absent from my life of late.
So I am making this promise to myself, my family and you all here:
I WILL make this work!
I WILL succeed!!
I Will have the life I dream of!!!
Anyone can do it, so if anyone reading this is feeling a bit "myeh" remember you are not alone, and you can make it work.
Jake 2.0 is launching right now.
See you at the top!!!!!!!!