How to protect your child from being bullied at school

byJamesNewton

271 followers

2 years ago

As a teacher and administrator for over 30 years, I have seen the awful influence of bullying in school.

In my role as a teacher, I would speak harshly to students those who, in my classroom, tried any form of intimidation. However, like many of my teaching colleagues who also acted so, we knew at best we could only provide a momentary safe haven for those being victimized.

When I was functioning as an administrator I would deal as harshly as I could with those who engaged in any form of bullying, yet sometimes I knew it was too little and too late to prevent the victims from suffering torment.

Sticks and Stones....

We all know how this phrase ends... "But words will never hurt me." However, this is just utterly wrong!

Name calling in person or by text messages (cyber bullying) can have a devastating effect on a child leading to such feelings of worthlessness that they either contemplate hurting themselves or resort to planning to 'get even' on their tormentors and we read of the tragedy of school shootings!

Wherever you go .... there you are!

Although there are so many parents and teachers who desperately want to help those who are bullied the real solution is I believe ... is through the empowerment of the victim.

The inherent threat of bullies is to impose physical harm, the precursor to which is so often the verbal assault.

So, what IS the best way to 'bully proof' your child? I believe it is first to see 'their world through their eyes' and that - of course - is all about clear communication and spending time listening to your child's perception of their circumstances.

The ultimate threat of all bullies is that of inflicting physical harm and humiliation!

So, I come back to the word 'empowerment' and giving your child the personal knowledge that 'they can - physically - take care of themselves.'

What does work for victims...?

So many times, I have heard parents say to their child "Stand up to a bully!" and "All bullies are cowards inside." Alternatively, the parents state that "I will come to the school and stop this [bullying] going on!"

While this is understandable and even commendable the reality is that the bullying doesn't stop but moves to a different location such as outside the school.

If you look like a victim, you will become one!!

Here's a truth that parents need to really grasp hold of. The self-confidence of your child or its lack, will be clear for all to see! Bullying tends to occur when a child continually displays any form of social anxiety or uncertainty.

A sad truth about those who bully is this: "Hurt people...hurt people" and no amount of counseling can change that mentality within them until that root issue has been dealt with.

By the infliction of some act of dominance a bully's own sense of inadequacy is temporarily satiated and that is why they will - invariably - pick on someone they perceive is 'weaker' and why bullying usually occurs from a group of like-minded individuals.

Of course, I commend parents & grandparents to take issues with schools where their child or grandchild is being subjected to any form of harassment. Parental involvement with the schools is always beneficial and any principal will always heed a parental complaint!

For me, however, I have found that training in martial arts

has been the most effective in instilling that inner aura of self-confidence that deters the opportunistic bully. Just a child knowing how to protect themselves by taking self-defense classes will have a profound effect on their demeanor.