Message from a 9 year old

Last Update: June 05, 2014

"What causes low self esteem?" Good question. It probably starts in childhood. Most parents want so much for their children to be successful, that they tend to be critical of them when they're not living up to expectations. I think that has the counter effect and sends a message that the child is not good enough.

If parents were able to find the good in every attempt that their child makes, and reinforce that, I think more people would grow up feeling confident in their own abilities. Take my grandson, for example. He is 9 and just completed the 3rd grade. In teaching how our government works, his teacher set up an election.

My grandson is very shy, but he decided to run for Class President, even though he had to give a speech, and even though he believed he wouldn't win. He said "a lot of people are running and the other kids like them better than me." But he told his mom he was going to run anyway.

His mom was so proud of him; she told him it isn't winning that's important, it's trying. She didn't reinforce his fears that he couldn't win, but she also didn't criticize him for having them. She validated his feelings and told him she believed in him. So he wrote a great speech and won! He surprised even himself.

It's a lot like that here at WA, isn't it? We might be a little afraid to try, because we are a little bit afraid it won't work, or that it won't work for us. But, if we don't try, we definitely won't succeed. I may have a fear of failure, but the very best way to fail is to quit. So don't quit! I might surprise even myself!

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wallwolf Premium
Good for him!!!! Pass on well done from me. He should be as proud of himself as you are of him.Great story
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IMN Premium
Thank you. I will tell him. (He wants to build a website.)
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wallwolf Premium
Quite right to a born leader by the sounds of it, even if he did just realise it:)
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IMN Premium
Haha! Right! Can't wait to see what's next for him.
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mdvs42 Premium
congrats to your grandson, your daughter just brought his confidence level up 10 notches!
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IMN Premium
She's a great mom. Thanks for seeing it.
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eeohome Premium
Congratulations to your grandson and his Mom (Any woman can can be a mother but only the best are Moms). Wonderful lesson. He probably has a lot more true friends than he realized.
Best wishes to y'all
Edie
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IMN Premium
Yes, Edie, I think you're right. Thank you.
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bazboy247 Premium
I have been in therapy for 8 years and I could not agree more I got none of that stuff I grew up in a fear based world, your story warms my heart

Barry
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IMN Premium
Thank you, Barry. Glad you liked it. ...Judy
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Skip2tsr Premium
It is not only great seeing the world through the eyes of a 9 year old, you are inspired by him as well. He could turn out to be a good mentor for you.
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IMN Premium
mdmaxx, you are so right! ...Judy
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