Motivating Myself

byiJared

1.4K followers

Updated 4 years ago

I am there.

I am at that point that I know deep down inside what is important in life.

I say that with experience in a few things.

I am a widower.

I am a failed small business owner. And owning that statement has had so many positive effects for my mental health it is not even funny.

The single most positive thing was layed out in a JOB INTERVIEW that I had recently. Being on the verge of bankruptcy and still explaining I needed a job to pay some debt and just be happy again, she fired back that I could say I had the courage and the fortitude to go for it and that should count for something. That should count for all of it.

I don't want to own a delivery company. At least, I don't want to run it, so we will see what happens with it.

Just knowing that has made getting a job, something I have been welcomed to with open arms by a company that believes I can do anything I want and be successful while I am there, an exciting prospect. Something I can really dive in to. If I choose to.

And I do.

When I met wife, I had an apathy for life. I didn't know what I wanted to do and I saw it in it's most technical perspective. I just knew I could work hard a jobs and I followed my heart and my gut and was blessed with climbing the ladder. This gave us a lifestyle we enjoyed, a house, nice car, trips.

I'm not saying we we're material people either, but we worked damn hard and we made sure that got to travel and enjoy our time together.

When she died, I think I become lost again. She taught me how to life, how to experience life on earth, how to feel. In her death I have discovered that an apathy for life is no way to live.

It denies your spirit from being set free to experience everything that life has to offer; and there will always be a balance, of good and bad. Pain, and love.

I believe as long as you have a breath and you can take a step forward you have to. Even if you have to crawl, you have to.

My motivation, is I have tasted it all of it. I have lived and learned and I am beginning to feel alive once again.

I have loved, and I can tell you it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.

I have enjoyed having some money and I no longer see it as anything more then a tool. It doesn't matter how much of it you have either, if you don't know what you want, and how to work for it, money won't matter. Like having a hammer, and no nail.

So I am about to gather some more tools, add to my arsenal, repair the last little while to put me back into the future. I stay focused, motivated and honest with myself; I stay present, and I move forward.

There are a lot of I's in my blog, this one is all about me. But I appreciate all of those people who stop and let me know sometimes that I motivated them to.

That is why we live, and learn, right? So we can Share, and Grow, and continue to pay it forward.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for helping me Motivate Myself.