Where Am I Going?

byidb1977

196 followers

6 years ago

For most of my life, I had a plan; I had a map of when, where, and how I wanted to do things. I had things pretty well-scripted, and they more or less came to be in reality. It became somewhat boring, however, and I kind of wanted more of an adventure. I came to realize that life is less about where you're going and more about how you get there.

I came upon this website because I wanted to follow a new path; the same old 6-lane highway became tired and world-weary. I wasn't at all sure of myself, and I'm still not, but I'm ok with that. I'm not constantly stressed out and rushed; I'm more calm and happy to have the time to enjoy myself a little.

I'm able to enjoy the journey now, and I'm not constantly nagging to myself, "Am I there yet?". I was never sure where "there" was anyway, and thinking about getting to a place I really wasn't sure about put even more stress into my life. I like pausing along the way to figure out what direction I want to take, rather than try to figure out how to rush past everything in order to get "there".

I enjoy my time writing now; sometimes, it takes me a few days to balance it with working, etc., but I need to have a good finished product. It's fun to me to try and find that balance between being totally OCD/perfectionistic and being timely. I had a very wise teacher once tell me in my medical training that "the enemy of good is better". He said that over and over, and I realize today that is very true. I can't begin to think about how many things and situations from which I detracted in an attempt to fix something that wasn't broken.

I finally had a glimpse ahead yesterday, and I decided that the yearly membership price for Black Friday was too good to pass up. I can afford it right now, and that may not be true tomorrow, so I figured that I would take the opportunity while I was still able. I'm not sure how things are going to turn out, and that is okay. I'm okay with that; I don't need to know the future. I'm going to just keep on walking for now, taking the time to pause and seek out shelter when I need it. For now, I am enjoying the learning process and the progress that I have made thus far in a land that is foreign to me. Life that is free of risk is also free of adventure, spontaneity, and fun.

Cheers,

Ian

"...I've been wondering if all the things I've seen
were ever real, were ever really happening..."

--Sheryl Crow

"Every Day is a Winding Road"