My About Page too Revealing?
Oh well, I don't mind sharing a bit of myself with my friends on WA. Stay tuned for an actual picture when I get a good one lol I want to add it to my new site just for WA posts and reviews. Any critiques welcome and appreciated too.
Hi I'm Gord
and welcome to my inaugural article on this new site! You may notice it's a little thin on content at the moment but that will change. This is where I'm going to chronicle my efforts to make a living with the home based business opportunities I find.
You see I'm in a bit of a pickle at the moment.
I have been a stay at home dad for several years. I thought that my wife's fantastic career would be better than I could ever do so I stayed with the kids and banked on her future success which looked imminent for years....that is until she took off with another guy last January! They took everything...all the cash, everything worth over $100 in the house that could be carried, even my car! Thank God she left the two kids or I wouldn't have had anything. It was tough to come to the realization she had been secretly developing an alcohol problem over the years. It finally exploded as I could see from the bank statements she was spending hundreds at the liquor store every month while the kids and I were walking through the ice storms along the road to the store and bank where I saw the statements.
After My Wife Left Me and the Kids Penniless....
Well actually I had a few pennies, but I do remember standing in the January snow with my son and I wearing backpacks, looking at the bank statements that said things like "$500 at the liquor store" and "$1000 on Go Daddy" of all things. Wondering "what was she doing online?" ...wondering how we were going to eat.
My kids refuse to talk to her now even on texts. With no vehicle in a fairly rural area, we did a lot of hiking and we weathered flooding which put us on evacuation alert in the Spring runoff and fires a couple of months later in summer. At one point we were surrounded on four compass points by fire and I had to hustle to get us to the point where we could be physically secure.
Now, I have a degree in Psychology and worked for the government years ago, we also tried to start a home-based business a few times but nothing ever worked. It's been baffling, and I'm at an age now where its hard to get a job anywhere. I'm probably too old or educated for a lot of jobs around here, yet without enough experience for others. Employers seem baffled that a guy my age and who seems so well spoken could be in the pickle he is in.
It doesn't matter. I decided long ago that I would rather risk it all and try to make it with a business on my own. It was the course I took. With other forms of security around though, and kids in tow, I never did put 100% into anything since I didn't really have to.... that is until last year. That was a wake-up call. It was a call and a realization that things in the world are not all they appear to be that I need to survive but I can do that by helping others in the ways that I know I can.
All This Made Me See that I'm Not the Only One in Rough Situations.
I know things are falling apart for a lot of people. There are pressures that I suddenly saw (from the roadside on foot) that people were living in tents in the bushes, that people were getting sick, stressed and financially under pressure. It wasn't just us after all! There is something about being married with kids that kind of insulates us from the problems of others.
You see my wife lost her job and I believed her when she told me it was due to politics and a dictatorial new ownership. I still think it was dysfunctional there and drove her to a lot of mental distress but I also realize now that the alcohol probably contributed to a lot of her finally getting fired.
There are things going on in society today....Rising food prices, gas prices rising, an invisible army of the unemployed and stressed out families. It's not that there are no jobs out there. It's more about the fact that the workplace and people, in general, have become intensely dysfunctional and a lot of people just refuse to work in those situations. I can't blame them. The standard of living our parents had has gone down over the past 30 years. Have you noticed that even the packages of food have gotten slightly smaller as the prices have risen? Milk, cheese, a lot of the boxes of things...even mac and cheese doesn't seem to have as much in the box as it used to! whats the point of suffering in a lousy job if you are going to be poor anyway? Might as well be poor and not have to deal with the extra stress.
That isn't all of course but, the point for you and me is we need to find some security now more than ever. I can see that the big box stores are closing down. Sears has a sale today! Surprise! Surprise! Its closing and so are other brick and mortar titans of the past. Things are changing and the question is how are we going to adapt? How are we going to survive? Amazon isn't going under any time soon I'm sure of that, but I think I have found a way to capitalize on that.
I have another site about survival in physical terms where I talk about a lot of things like camping but this site is going to be about financial survival because in so many ways, these days, money IS a survival situation!
Some Lessons Learned So Far
The biggest take away I've picked up about my whole situation has been:
1) You can't depend on anyone.....You can't depend on your job being there tomorrow. Did you see Elon Musk just unveiled his new Electric Tractor Trailer? That thing is going to be fully self-driving in a few years and masses of truck drivers are going to be out of work.....And you can't even trust your husband, wife, mother, father, business partner....anyone to be there for you forever.
2) You need to build something up by yourself and for yourself. Just building a bank account isn't going to do anymore. You need a mechanism for actively making money FOR YOU.
3) The purpose of being positive is to be happy, NOT to achieve the goal or get the thing. (I'll explain a lot more about that as this site progresses). I know it seems unrelated but it is. You'll see.
Positivity Has Saved Me From Buckling Under Pressure
After months of reeling from the shock and working on a positive attitude, I've come to the conclusion that it was probably for the best that my wife did leave. There are a lot of positives to it. Not the least of which is the fact that I am now free and that she does, in fact, have some major mental problems I couldn't see before. Things that affected me and the kids. I didn't want to be in that relationship anyway and I was feeling trapped. She probably figured that out at some level. Things were not great. Staying together for the kids wasn't doing them any favors either I suppose.
But just how I got to this point emotionally, took a lot of discipline and very specific mental exercise that I hope to share with you in future articles. Happiness can be had in any situation and that is another thing I learned from the event of the past year. You can be rich and be happy or you can be poor and happy or vice versa, but either way, the purpose of all the things I've learned about how to get positive is for the purpose of getting happy and NOTHING else.
Now For the Money (the something 'else').....
Happy or not, right now money is the main concern. I'm not as badly off as when my wife dropped the bomb in January 2017. I have managed to get a vehicle going, get the kids stabilized to a degree, and some cash flow. It's bearly enough, but I've got something else going on that I think will pan out.
I signed up for something called Wealthy Affiliate. It's a program for learning how to do affiliate marketing online as the name indicates. I've probably put about a month of work into it all totaled since I started in October. Time flies, but I had to do some other things for a couple of months (October/November) and they say it takes a few months to build up enough content to draw traffic.
Anyway, I haven't made a dime on it yet so I really don't know for sure if it will work.
But it is the Most Promising Thing I've Been Able to Find For Making Money Online.
In fact, I built this website and a couple of others on the Wealthy Affiliate platform. They show you step by step how to do it. Actually building a website is made as easy and painless as possible since the most time-consuming part of making money through affiliate marketing is by writing content.
There are other ways of making money online of course, but I found this to be the most cost-effective. There is very little overhead and startup cost compared to things like starting an online store.
For that, I found I needed to invest in inventory and have a place to store things. I found that drop shipping, which is supposed to alleviate that kind of problem, was really complicated and had hidden costs all over it. Places like Shopify are like that. They also don't tell you much usable information about how to make and MARKET your products. You just end up with a website and the rest is left up to you.
Wealthy Affiliate appears to be the only place I've seen where they don't assume you know anything and make sure you understand and CAN DO the marketing you need to do like "Search Engine Optimization" SEO. When I've tried to figure out SEO in the past it's been a dead end road. By dead-end I mean you can only find a certain amount of confusing information online before you have to pay an exorbitant price for a course and then the course most likely won't teach you what you need to know to make a site from scratch and MAKE MONEY.
WA seems reasonably priced. No heavy pressure sales or time limits, no up sales with increasing graduated courses later. It's all there and transparent. In fact, I will be able to write about and walk you through what I am doing every day as I build my own website. You can sign up for free for a month and see how the whole thing works.
The social aspect of the Wealthy Affiliate site is pretty impressive actually. There are thousands of people and many make their livings from the site. Many apparently, make much more. Connecting with the many successful marketers on the Wealthy Affiliate site is inspiring and encouraging and makes me believe.
I won't completely believe them 100% though (maybe 99%) until I myself make that kind of money, but since I love writing at home, and it's something I've wanted to do for a long time. This has been a ray of hope that at least offers the possibility of actually working at home and selling some other products that are interesting to me. But if I do succeed and make money off this you can be sure you will be able to do it too.
On the whole, I have found home based business opportunities are a pipe dream. At least that's what I've experienced. But I'm going to find one and I think this could be it. At the very least it's going to give me the skills and platform to jump into other online businesses and products I want to sell....writing about what I want.
Stay tuned, bookmark or follow on the social media of your choice and you can get updates on my progress. I will definitely post all articles I write and the day I get paid for the first time, of course, I will let you know!
If you find something let me know: Gord@howtomakemoneyonablog.com
Recent Comments
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Oh Gord, you’ve been through the trenches, haven’t you? I hope the very best for your family in the coming years.
You did ask a question in your headline it would be remiss of me not to answer:
Is this too revealing?
If you were providing advice on super magnets, possibly. I’d only be interested in your technical expertise then.
But your earnestness is right at home with the topic and audience you’ve chosen. In years to come, you might even refer to it as your business ‘origin story’. Who knows?
You’re going to teach your audience by modeling your example.
And you’re going to connect with others who’ve also found themselves in a bit of a pickle. That’s not a bad thing.
How was the kids’ first Christmas without mum? I hope you’re all OK.
Thank you for the kind comments. It was an OK Christmas. But with a small shadow and long story. You see my wife has not told the truth much in out marriage and but after she left the lies went 100%. That is part of the reason my kids won't talk to her. Late last spring, for example, she said she was in the hospital with colitis (which she does have), but on the days she texted saying she was there I saw from banking records she had been to Starbucks and the Ricky's and the Golf Club. After my son banned her from all of his social media in summer, (my daughter won't respond but has not gone this far yet), she started trying to be nicer to me trying to get me to get the kids to talk to her.
In late October she told me that she was going in for a colonoscopy to see about an anomaly which she suspected was cancer and needed to see the kids 'before it got worse' if cancer was what it was. I said we would wait for the results. She said she would text with results over the next few days and never did. Then just before Christmas, she texted saying she had cancer of the colon and had checked herself out and wanted me and the kids to be a part of her 'support system' (first time she has asked to see me. Even wanted to meet in private). In consultation with friends and family, I asked her for official proof from doctors and she told me she wouldn't pay that much to get it sent. ($600 apparently) and that our family doctor wasn't in on this. I told my oldest about this and he is so mad at her he said he didn't care if she dies. He would see her at the funeral. I said we would have to resolve a lot 'before she goes' if she ended up terminal and that he should see her, however, we would wait for confirmation, but not tell my youngest anything about it until then. When we returned from our dog walk/conversation my daughter showed me the text she sent telling my daughter "Mom's sick Cancer Sick!".
Anyway, though she said she wanted to 'help' me buy a bed for my daughter for Christmas she has been quiet through the whole thing which included sending any money which she has not done which was expected since she has sent no financial support to the kids since she left.
Not talking to her is generally a relief as her personality has become like someone else literally. But the no word from her over Christmas had us wondering only a bit since she has a history of lying about illness etc manipulate situations. My daughter got a bed and my son got a couple hundred bucks from me. They did well gift wise from my family and I managed to get a couple of prime ribs. It was actually better than the previous Christmas when she was here and secretly planning to leave. this is such a crazy situation I love talking about it to friends now as people have such an amazing reaction....Its SO extreme people can't get over it lol. That is distinctly different than the first few months where I was just speechless when trying to explain the situation to anyone. thanks for asking. They are doing well and I think they are actually doing better in some ways than when she was here. I guess that could have been a shorter answer haha.. But anyway, the saga continues. She invited me to her next colonoscopy appointment in January which may or may not be real....I have been having some dreams about her though that according to the dream dictionary online (lol) indicates she could be telling the truth about the cancer....but we'll see :)
Gord - Oh my goodness.
Simply knowing a person of such strange and manipulative behaviours is exhausting and toxic. It would be hard enough if it were someone from a work or social setting.
But your family has the added challenge of knowing someone like this who happens to be the closest kind of relation: Mother. Wife. That wounds so deeply. And your love and loyalty can make you so helpless in such a relationship; so vulnerable.
I’m glad that talking about your situation has brought you some relief, and I can also tell, that your recognising what has been going on has helped you to mentally extricate yourself from a place where you and the children might be any further hurt by her actions.
She needs a lot of help. I don’t know how or if she is able to seek it out.
You and the kids also need to heal and get to a point where you’re no longer burdened by what’s been done; where you no longer nurse even a morsel of guilt for what was clearly an undiagnosed condition holding you all hostage; and where you feel no shame, and grow to fulfil all your wonderful potential.
There are a few bloggers who’ve successfully built the kind of site you’re planning. So you know there is a neediness to hear such stories.
But you also hold in the palm of your hand some unique potential as a person with a degree in Psychology. You can offer special insights into such family trials, while also being a person who has/is very much living it.
There’s one other thing that I like about your post and replies here, that I hope will never fail you. Despite the confusion, sorrow and anger you will have certainly experienced throughout this drama, you resist the opportunity to describe her in a hyperbolic horrid fashion. No lashing out. I detect all kinds of civility and tested restraint in your choice of words that I like.
That reasoned response will be the difference in your being able to simply keep a diary to vent, or to be able to find meaning and insight that can be offered as a service and solace to help others.
Take care!
Hi Gord. Wow, you've been through a lot! There are certainly many people out there, and here too I'm sure, that have gone through much as well. You'll be a great encouragement for them. I'm glad you're here and know you'll find success with dedication. Looking forward to hearing about it. It brings me encouragement too.
Blessings,
Suzanne
Thank you. I hope so. Going to try to do an article a day. Hopefully, I can get something going in three to 6 months.
Hi Gordon, I'm sorry for what you have been through, but your strength and courage shine through! You're a talented writer and I'm sure you're going to be very successful in your own right!
You're certainly in the right place and with your positive attitude and outlook, I think you're going to go far!
Good luck and best wishes my friend and may 2018 be your year of prosperity : )
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Good morning Gord. God bless you for your efforts! The internet and your love of writing will see you through. Merge that with WA and you can accomplish anything. As soon as you get minimum income get a vehicle that will get you around and help use your time more constructively then give it everything!
Thanks, Mike, sounds like a plan!