This Old Dog Is Learning To PUMP

Last night I worked until the wee hours of the morning with a new piece I am writing for my website. The piece was finished but I was determined to have ALL GREEN buttons on my Yoast SEO information at the bottom of my edit. I finally determined that people that have all green buttons at the bottom of their edits (in Yoast SEO) probably also lie about their age, their fidelity, and probably their gender. After hours, I still had three red buttons showing. It is time for the Yoast users here at WA to step up and present a full-length training session on how to remove the RED buttons. But that is not what I want to blog about.

After working so late last night, I woke up this morning feeling like “hammered pelican poop.” Yet I had my morning constitutional gym effort that had to be accomplished. I DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT. Plain and simple. But that damned-able voice kept whispering to me, “get your butt to the gym.” So I went to the gym! I could hardly get the door to the gym to open. Every movement towards my gym activities ached. My cardio exercise went at less than half speed…you get the picture. As I left cardio and went to the weights I thought that I might die. THENNNNNNN!!!!

I thought, “what would pattucker, or Loes, or MarionBlack, or KatieMac at WA say to me right now.”

I started to giggle. KatieMac would simply tell me to take a shot of Scotch Whiskey and toughen up.

MarionBlack would say, “you are an idiot, Dan, for trying to do something so vile to mankind.”

Loes would simply tell me to work harder. BUT oh pattucker!!! She would tell me to think of something pleasant as I was exercising and ALL WOULD BE RIGHT. I thought…I will test pattucker’s imagined suggestion. I got on the “crunch machine” and thought about those terrible Red Buttons on Yoast SEO. By the 15th repetition, I thought that I was DEAD. I sat for ten minutes and attempted to recover.

Then, in my mind’s eye, I could see all of those Yoast SEO red buttons turn GREEN and Mr. Yoast saying to me, “you are the first person in the world to ever get ALL GREEN BUTTONS, congratulations.” Well, you know the rest of the story. I completed the rest of my exercises in record time with a smile on my face. Thank you pattucker! DAN