Yesterday, I Was a Funeral Director

byGadget510

528 followers

9 years ago

My intention is always to the audience who reads my blogs. To treat them like intelligent human beings. More than anything I want to help people overcome weight issues ( I used to be heavy ), so that is why I chose a fitness website. I was so excited yesterday to get started on finishing up a previous blog about an exercise program that had helped me. Everything was hearts and flowers until my website would not load. Of course, I freaked out. One would have thought I had lost a limb! I couldn't wait to finish that fitness page that I had finally learned to put an affiliate link on. I couldn't wait to get to the next lesson. I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't as my mind hyperventilated. I truly doubted every cell of my body. I couldn't do anything.

Did the World End?

The thing is I could have waited. It wasn't the end of the world. I had no choice, anyway, but to wait. So, I went on chat and asked for help. Well, thank God Jay told me to go to Support and I did. I waited. And waited blaming myself for this screw up, which I had put on the same level as hacking, Me, a hacker? Please.

Mourning myself as a failure

I was in a mourning state. All I needed was to dress in black and wear a black veil over my face. I kept my lap top where I could see it. I waited by doing some exercise I waited while I scooped the cat boxes. My bedroom looked like a paper factory so I threw it all out. I caught my checkbook up. Ah, Support said it was fixed. For the love of potatoes, it wasn't working for me! Poor me. I am so dumb. So I let Support know that I still couldn't get my website to load. I bent down leaning again the side of my bed. I told myself I will not give up. I will not give up. Yes, there is a lot I do not know but I just started, and I still have lots of lessons and classrooms to do. I will not give up. When I stood up, I saw a message on my laptop.

Have to deal with life, too

Support asked for an image of the message I was receiving when I tried to upload my website, and I got it to them. Another day wasted I told myself, because I have had so many doctor's appointments with my mother.And the appointments take up the majority of my day. Do not get me wrong. I love my mother. She is happy and supportive that I am doing Wealthy Affiliate. I just wanted to make headway, because Mom is in a rehabilitation facility getting her strength back. She'll be there 3 weeks.

The sun is coming from behind the clouds

With my head down, I went to the bathroom and took off my warpaint (make up). As soon as I looked at my laptop, I saw another message. Support wanted my IP address. I got it to them pronto. It wasn't even 5 minutes and the problem was a backed up IP address. I am in love with WA Support now. I was so calm as I watched my fitness website come up(actually joy of fitness). Where had been the joy, Angie? I could have been calm all day. I could have made the choice to be calm. I could have typed or wrote by hand my content until my webpages came back.

I didn't have to call the psychiatrist

The lesson for me is: So what? It can be fixed. WA has plenty of resources to help us. I have to live what I write also. Be calm, breathe, everything will be fine. Have positive thoughts. I realized that I am very exhausted, because I have caregiver fatigue. I am going to change that. I am going to take more breaks and breaths and do some things for myself. The big picture shows that nothing is so significant that I will allow myself to bust a biddy over it. Thank you Jay and WA Support.