My first 24 hours of no cigarettes
Evil is deceitful and it has had me in chains since that very first cigarette so long ago.
I have tried so many ways to stop; patches, gum, meds for depression, hypnosis, quit groups, cold turkey and those things to keep in my hands to use as a replacement such as a cinnamon sticks, sunflower seeds, a rubber band around my wrist to hurt myself every time I had the urge; oh my gosh, the list goes on. And none of these worked, at least not for the long term.
I had small successes that did not last long; two weeks here, three months there and my longest was seven years. I started smoking when I was 11 and have smoked off and on ever since. I tried to calculate the exact years and I came up with about 33 years of actual smoking.
Perhaps you are a non-smoker and wonder why I would write about this, could you be judging me and saying to yourself, “what a pathetic loser!” Or maybe you are a smoker that may say, “ugh, another person trying to convince me to quit smoking” and pass by this blog. Or maybe you may read it just because you have a smoker in your life and want to gain more understanding of this person you love.
I don’t know where this blog will take me, perhaps this will be the only one I write about this issue or maybe it will be the first of many. I just don’t know, but if you would like to take a walk with me for a few minutes, I welcome you my friend.
With the frame of mind of wanting to help people, I felt compelled to write about this. It was so strong of a pull that I could not concentrate on anything else today until I put my words down on paper.
I have been reading Allen Carrs Easy Way to Quit Smoking and I have to tell you, this man knows what he is talking about. He was a smoker himself and writes with great honesty and wisdom and does not hesitate to get in your face and help you understand this drug addiction.
With Allen’s book attached to my hip for support, I have made it through my first 24 hours. One of the things that evil does is it tries to make you forget everything you know, so I felt the need to keep putting the wisdom back into my head as the withdrawal pangs hit me. I tried to work on my lessons here at WA. I tried to work on my website. And I even tried to write some articles, but I could not keep my attention on anything for longer than five minutes or so.
Nothing would satisfy me, am I hungry? Do I want to watch a movie? Do I want to pull the covers over my head and stay there until the pangs pass? Oh yeah, I reminded myself, non-smokers don’t feel this and the cause of me feeling this is because of the cigarette, trying to pull me back in; deceitfully trying to get me to kill myself in a slow and agonizing way; by way of suffocation, one cigarette at a time.
“The whole business of smoking can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.” Again, quoted by Allen Carr.
I found myself pacing the floor a lot yesterday, today not so much. I did not fall asleep until about 3 in the morning and was up at 6 am. Surprisingly, I awoke feeling really good. I was at peace and relaxed and actually remembering Allen’s wisdom and feeling myself incorporate this into my new way of existence.
The second day is definitely easier; I can already feel my body healing. As I stand at my kitchen window and feel the warmth of the sun, I take a deep breath and am still in the moment. The birds on my garage are building their nest, the rabbit runs across the grass perhaps with great confidence he will out run the dogs, the wind is blowing the trees and I hear the snore of my daughters beagle and I am at peace. What an awesome feeling.
I feel free and alive today like I have not felt in many years. My withdrawal pangs have become moments of pleasure and I am embracing each minute of success as small victories in this battle. I am getting my state of peace, tranquility and confidence back.
I hope this helps you in some way, please feel free to write a comment. I would love to hear what you have to say. Thank you for listening.
Recent Comments
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Oh I get it. Maybe not quite the same as you - as I stopped smoking years ago.
Maybe, I should be more specific. I was eight years old and "lifted" a pack of cigarettes from my Dad's jacket then went out behind the shed to try smoking.
Within minutes I was throwing up, surely my complexion was green and I prayed for death. Long story less long... I started and stopped on the same day and don't even have the slightest desire to repeat that scenario.
Cigarette smoke has always made me sick, especially in a moving vehicle. I'm talking about nausea and of course the related vomiting and blacking out from time to time.
Even today, I can't be around much cigarette smoke. If I'm following a smoker on the highway, I can smell it and it makes me dizzy, even if I'm riding a motorcycle. Go figure.
You might find this interesting. My parents both smoked way back then. It was considered glamorous. When my mom was pregnant with me, it was the only time in her life that the smell of cigarettes made her sick. After I was born, she resumed the habit.
I think there must be something genetic about the desire and craving to smoke.
A friend of mine once told me what it was like to try to quit. It probably gave me the best insight into what you must be feeling. His explanation "it is like trying not to breathe".
I had no idea.
Be strong, you will be so much healthier - but then you've heard it all before. You don't need to hear another lecture from one of those non smokers.
I guess in the words of Bill Clinton, "I feel your pain" (at least I think I do)
Hang in there.
Kali
thank you Kali, what you felt when you attempted to smoke is pretty much what everyone experiences. It actually takes a lot of effort to get passed that. You were very wise to let it go immediately, some of us were not so wise. Thank you very much for your comment!
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Congratulations. Whatever you are giving up (or starting up) is always a trial, especially in the beginning. I think you should keep us up-to-date with your efforts so that you will always have people helping you along the way. I'm not a smoker but know how hard it is to keep strong. I'm with you all the way. Good luck. Jackie x
thank you, I guess my thoughts on writing this was to have a documented real life success story with Allen Carr's program. I have not used it before and it is stated that he is the number one authority on this issue. If it can work for me, it can work for anyone, so I am putting it to the test publicly in the hopes to help someone else.
Denise