Triggers, Part 2 Blame Your Environment?
Belief Triggers That Stop Benavioural Change
Whatever you think you can achieve. There are always going to be issues that crop up to deny you reaching the person that you want to be. Today, we are going to look in outline at some of the reasons or thoughts that we use to ensure that we do not make the best of what we need.
Belief 1. "If I understand, I will do". This statement says that you will do, once you hve been shown how. Most people do not do a thing, and more than a year later things are still the same as before. Just because people understand it, does not mean they will do it. This triggers confusion.
Belief 2. "I have willpopwer and will not give in to temptation". Many defy willpower and self control and mock its absense. Those who achieve are seen to be "strong", and "heroic", and those who require structure are "weak". Both concepts are faulty because few can actually and accurately gauge or predict willpower. Triggers in the environment lead us away, and our environment is a great willpower-reduction machine. This triggers overconfidence.
Belief 3. Today is a special day. We give ourselves any reason for taking the day off and doing something other than what we are supposed to be doing. Any trigger will do this but the key is to get things done in the order that we want them, and the time that we want it done. This triggers inconsistency.
Belief 4. "At least I am better than...." This is where we may have failed to do something but instead of taking it on the chin, we actually excuse ourselves for our failure and try to lay the blame or ease the pain by taking it out on others and trick ourselves into thinking we are not as bad as others. We have triggered a false sense of immunity.
Belief 5. "I should not need help or structure". Anyone who actually thinks that "things happen for a reason", may have forgotten that the things that they have learned have never been done out of repetition. This triggers the feeling that only those with less inteligence than others need a strategy to get things done. What this actually does is make them blind to humility.
Belief 6. "I won't get tired, and my enthusiam will never fade". When we rise from our beds, we are full of energy. We start off with the best intentions of getting thigs done but it takes dilligance and hard work to pull things off. We seldom realise that self-control is a limited resource. The sheer effort of sticking with the plan triggers depletion.
Belief 7. "I have all the time in the world". How many of us just take it easy and let things slip because we think that time is endless and jobs only take seconds. This combination triggers our great friend procrastination.
Belief 8. "I won't get distracted and nothing will crop up". A combination that just makes all our plans go to waste. The probability of something just hapenning and stopping us in our tracks is not to be ignored. Failing to plan is planning to fail is it not, and this triggers a false sense of expecting everything to go without a hitch.
Belief 9. "An epiphany will suddenly change my life". The ultimate dreamers dream of a one-off occurance changing lives forever. Yes, it does happen, we have seen this from time to time. But this triggers magical thinking which is based on impulse and not strategy, and hopes and dreams instead of structure.
Belief 10. "My change will be permanent and I will never have to worry again. Driving towards a goal may change your life in the short term and you will be happy to have got there, but will not lead to real happiness. Real behavioural change is long term. Getting fit is possible for all, but staying fit is hard work and requires dedication, and takes a real focus on lifestyle and a lifetime to achieve this. What you need is permanence.
Belief 11. "The elimination of old probelms will not bring on new problems". Getting to the top and being the best ushers out old issues but being the boss brings its own new issues. Disregarding the prescence of old for new triggers a fundamental misunderstanding of future challenges.
Belief 12. "My efforts will be duly rewarded". Life is not fair, fact, but we are all brought up expecting life to be just that. So when we feel that we are not rewarded enough we feel cheated, triggering resentment. The surefire way of getting around this is to "get better", giving you the feeling of being worthy due to your achievements.
Belief 13. "Nobody is paying attention to me". In your strive to get better, it may not be noticable to others that your changes are making an impact. You can see it of course. This triggers isolation. When we revert back to what we did before, others definately notice.
Belief 14. "If I change, I am unauthentic". When we change the way we do things to fit in those around us, we get a sense of just being "one of the crowd", "I have no identity", "Mr Grey". This triggers stubbornness, a new state of "I will not change", "not comply", or "its just not me". One of the most dangerous habits to get into and one that will stop your behavioural change instantly.
Belief 15. "I have the wisdom to assess my own behaviour". Where would you rate yourself out of 100? 80? 85? 95? We are terrible at judging ourselves and we are never able to object to our own mistakes. We take all the credit for good and blame all others for our failures. This triggers a lack of objectivity. It convinces ourselves that everyone else consistently overate themselves and our own self-assessment is fair and equal.
Recent Comments
11
Hi Dave ... many great points here.
Just one comment for now ... since will power is essentially a conscious mind activity and our conscious mind mostly shuts down when we sleep, will power has to be re-generated each new day.
This means the mind has to remember to recreate it every day. Remembering is a subconscious activity which takes many days to accept something as a deeply embedded habit.
So until the specific will power memory becomes a habit, it is a real challenge to keep going with power each day.
I hope this makes sense to you.
Richard
15 Beliefs - I need to read this again and note them down- I need to avoid or overcome if they crop up anything that will prevent me from reaching my goals on this online journey (ofc in life too).
Refreshing article, Dave, and quite insightful
Some interesting and thought provoking ideas and perspectives you shared here. Thank you for this post.
Tracy
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This is an awesome post Dave; I love the points, particularly #15 as experience has taught me to beware of taking my own counsel objectively.
Rick