For all Lovers of Words

Last Update: Jul 31, 2014


Is it any wonder that learning English is so difficult for those who do not have it as their mother tongue.

For those who love the English language the following two dozen statements will bring a laugh or a groan to many. Those who don't may not quite see it.

Whatever the case, please relax and enjoy this between your other key words that you are working on.


1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A- flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

Recent Comments


LOVE THIS! Hadn't seen this one, either. I love your posts, Simon.

Hey, and I love your sense of humor Sugarbird. Some things you say really crack me up. Stay in touch 'cos I gotta have at least one LARF every day to keep up the spirrits ! :-))

You got it good friend! It's always great to connect with someone that shares my weird sense of humor. Have a great weekend!

That is so true in Namibia we call it namlish

Thank for making me laugh today.

My pleasure, glad you liked it. Stay well.

These made me smile, thanks for sharing!

Where have you been spending your time?
I love it!

Looking for Larfs! Glad you like them MissT.

ha ha these are awesome!

Thanks Kelly,

Great just great all the best

Thanks Maxiam.

I prefer going with Consin than going Toulouse

You've got me on that one Guy! What is Consin?


Hi Simon,
I did like them all, and eben a non native english can lol.

Very good.

Thanks Ian, glad you liked it.

Hi Simon, :)))
I had to read & think 2 times and really concentrate before I read the 3rd time. :D BTW, on 8: We, Asians don't get a new name. The govt don't change my name in my passport. But I use my new name in Europe. And no, I get more dresses. :D
Thanks for sharing. I had a good read and laugh. ;)

Glad you liked them Jenn!

Yes, I did.

Create Your Free Wealthy Affiliate Account Today!
4-Steps to Success Class
One Profit Ready Website
Market Research & Analysis Tools
Millionaire Mentorship
Core “Business Start Up” Training